Page 55 of Your Biggest Downfall
I still cared about him, still felt the pull of the connection we shared. But the shame lingered, a constant reminder of everything that had gone wrong between us. Even so, I couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to see him again, to hear him say those words out loud, and to find out if he had changed.
“Earth to Nova,” Luna said as the waiter came by with our sandwiches. He put one down in front of me.
“Sorry,” I said, laughing uncomfortably. “I was in my own head.”
“Yeah, I could see that. I was waiting for you to respond forever.”
I giggled again and stuffed the sandwich in my mouth, hoping to avoid the conversation.
Luna placed her hands on the table and stared at me. “Do you know what’s going to happen when he comes home?” she asked, emphasizinghe.
I nodded.
“And?” Luna pressed. “I’m not judging, just trying to figure out where your head’s at since we don’t talk about?—”
“Listen.” I put the sandwich down and sighed, looking up at her. “I don’t know either. I know he comes back next week for a meeting with everyone. I have no idea when I’ll see him next.”
I picked up a chip from my plate and popped it into my mouth. Luna glanced at me, then out the window, remaining still for a moment. She hadn’t touched her food yet.
“Are you going to eat?” I asked.
“Well”—she huffed out an exasperated laugh—“I know.”
I looked out the window and saw nothing. “Know what?” I asked, but she continued to stare.
Slowly, she brought her gaze back toward mine.
“What do you know?” I repeated.
“I know when you’re going to see Austin Hart next.”
She lifted her hand and pointed in the direction she was looking. I turned, glancing over my shoulder, and realized she was pointing at the front of our building.
Sure enough, there was a blacked-out Escalade at the front, and a guy had stepped around it. He was wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses, but the blonde curls peeking out from the bottom of the cap immediately gave away who it was.
“Oh my?—”
“God,” Luna finished for me.
“What do I do?” I whispered.
I looked down at my plate, what I’d eaten threatening to come back up. Dammit. This was a good sandwich too.
“What do you want to do?” Luna asked.
What a stupid question. Obviously, if I knew what I wanted to do, then I wouldn’t be asking. Realistically, I should let him knock on the door a few times and then walk away because we weren’t home. He had no idea we were here. I shouldn’t go chasing after him.
“He’s a day early,” Luna added.
“You had it in your calendar?” I bit back, and it came out meaner than I intended. “Sorry. Just working through this shit in my head.”
“Yeah, actually, I did have it on the calendar.”
“Do you think I have time to schedule a meeting with my therapist?” I asked, somewhat joking but also kind of not really.
Luna laughed, but it didn’t come out happy. “Ha. No.”
“What’s he doing?” I asked, afraid of what I would do if I looked in that direction.
