Page 210 of Collide
“I won’t stay long,” she adds gently, sensing my hesitation. “But I was hoping we could talk. Just for a minute.”
Against my better judgment, I sigh and unlock the door, leading her into my apartment. Inside, she perches carefully on the edge of a stool while I busy myself with the groceries, silent, unsure of what to say.
Carole glances around the apartment, her eyes softening like she’s taking in every detail. “You’ve made a beautiful home for yourself.”
I offer a polite smile, arms wrapping tighter around myself. “Thanks. But I don’t think you came here to talk about Philippa’s decorating.”
She flinches slightly but doesn’t argue. Instead, she exhales slowly, looking up at me with a raw honesty that disarms me more than I want to admit.
“You know,” she begins softly, “when your parents divorced, I became the villain. And I’m not going to stand here and pretend I was innocent. I wasn’t.”
I swallow, arms tightening even more around myself. What is going on right now?
Her voice shakes as she continues, “But what no one knew, what no one cared to ask, was that I was pregnant.”
The air leaves the room, sudden and brutal.
“What?” I whisper, my throat scraping raw.
She nods, blinking fast, like she’s holding herself together by a thread. “I was pregnant when the media tore me apart. When everyone tore me apart. And in the stress of it all”—she breathes out—“I lost the baby.”
I stare at her, heart pounding against my ribs.
Her voice drops even softer. “The doctors said it damaged me so badly I wouldn’t be able to have children again. So, if you ever wondered whether I paid a price for what happened…I did.”
The silence stretches between us, thick, suffocating.
“I…didn’t know,” I manage, my voice barely a whisper, something painful shifting deep inside me.
“No one did,” she murmurs. “Monty knew, of course. But what would it have mattered? To everyone else, I was the homewrecker. No one cared if I was bleeding out on the floor.”
She wipes her eyes quickly, pulling herself back together.
“I’m not telling you this to make you pity me.” She squares her shoulders. “That’s the last thing I want. I wanted you to know that I understand what it’s like. To love someone and not know if loving them will destroy you.”
My breath catches, tight and aching in my chest.
“Your father was my first and only love,” she admits, pressing her lips into a thin line. “I won’t lie, I enjoyed the life he gave me at first. But there are times I’ve wondered if losing my baby was karma for the damage I caused your family.”
My throat burns, tears stinging the back of my eyes.
Carole looks at me, her expression soft, almost pleading. “I see what’s happening to you, Elena. I see what you’re caught up in, and I don’t want you to go through what I did. Like I said before, the press loves nothing more than a scandal.”
Her words slice into me, hitting a place I’ve been trying so hard to ignore.
I sink onto the stool beside her, feeling like my body might fold in half from the weight of it all.
“I don’t even know what I’m doing,” I whisper.
She gives a small, sad smile. “I didn’t either. That’s hindsight for you.”
I shake my head, raking a hand through my hair. “Everyone’s telling me to walk away from him, from Alex. But I don’t know if I can.”
“I understand, Elena. More than you know,” she says softly.
Carole reaches across the small space and gently takes my hand in hers. Her hand is warm. Grounding.
“Sometimes”—she sighs—“when you love the wrong person, you don’t see it until it’s too late.”
