Page 80 of Fever Dream
He presses lower on me, body lined up with mine as he sucks a gentle mark on my neck, not enough to leave any evidence because we’re not that dumb. He finds that spot in me, the one that has me shooting to the moon as my cock hardens against the bed and his headygrind, grind, grindhas me out of my mind.
I think I love him. No, scratch that. I know I love him. I think maybe I’ve been in love with Harrison Thornfield since the day he let me plant that corked hat on his curls and we clipped those koalas all over each other. I also have just enough presence ofmind to know now is not the time to blurt out my feelings, not with him pounding into me and my brain turned to mush.
I spill on the bed, my orgasm ripping out of me so fast and strong I don’t even have time to prepare. I tip Harrison over the edge right along with me as he makes that sound I am addicted to and he fills me up. I drift in his arms.
I think I might have fallen asleep for a moment or two, blissed out and thoroughly sated as Harrison’s warm body blankets me. It’s only when he shifts and pulls out of me that I realise how much I want him back in there. Once is never enough for me but I feel Harrison’s exhaustion as he curls up alongside me, warm and cosy and sleepy the way he always is after sex.
I should be tired too after those two explosive orgasms but I’m suddenly wide awake, my exhaustion dissipating in a whirlwind of thoughts, brain active and firing again now that Harrison is not occupying my body.
“H?” I say, nudging him gently with my knee.
“Mmm?” he murmurs, just a happy cat at my side. I love him. I honestly love him.
“Harrison,” I add, full naming him because I need his attention. He must realise because his eyes flick open, chestnut brown and heartachingly beautiful and just as full of warm emotions. “I think you should move in with me.”
I just say it, the words needing out or I’ll stew on them all night. And I mean it too. I want him here every day and every night. I want him in my bed and in my pool and in every waking moment of my life. I want him everywhere.
He takes a moment to respond, an array of emotions flickering through his eyes. “We’ve only been …datinga couple of months,” he says, stumbling over the word to define our relationship. I get it, I don’t know how to define us either.
“No, we’ve been having sex for a couple of months,” I correct. “Pretty sure we’ve been in a relationship since our first date back when you moved to Sydney.”
He chuffs a laugh at that, leaning in when I glide my fingers through his luscious curls. “That’s true,” he concedes.
“I don’t care about convention or how long we should be in a relationship before we move in. We’re good together, H. You get me. I don’t really know why you put up with me and I know you’re way too good for me and this is a completely one-sided relationship, but I still want this.”
Harrison pulls back to look at me, a bemused expression on his face. “Um, what? There is no way you think this is one sided.”
“Yeah, it is. I get way more out of you than you do me. I know what I’m like, H. I know I’m neurotic and obsessive and not actually all that good at much outside of football. And you’re like this really cool, posh, classy boy but you still get me. And not many people have ever got me like you do.”
His expression melts a little before he sighs out a breath of air and leans in closer. “Firstly, I get just as much out of this relationship as you do, Casey. I’m serious here. Even though you’re literally eye candy personified, and I about die every time I’m inside you, I like so much more about you than that. I love your neuroticism, and I love your crazy and your dramatics and your passion. It’s your personality that drew me in, even more than your looks and your body.”
I don’t know why those words mean so much to me, or why I hardly know how to breathe after he says them. I know I’m not the easiest. I know I’m obsessive and possessive and high maintenance. But Harrison gets that about me, and he still likes me. The thought strikes through me like a warm coil of iron.
“I like everything about you too, Harry,” I tell him. “You’re like this calm to my crazy, peace to my obsessions. You give my overactive mind a place of quiet and rest and you have no ideahow good that makes me feel, H. But that’s the thing about an addictive personality because, well, you should probably know I’m addicted to you. Like in a head over heels, completely and totally in love with you kind of way.”
I glance up at my words, words I hadn’t been quite prepared to tell him just yet. They kind of just spilled out of my mouth like a word tsunami that was impossible to hold back. Only thing is, he’s looking back at me with the same kind of emotion, and I choke up again as he cups my face, so gentle compared to how he was with me pinned underneath him.
“Well maybe it’s catching because I’m definitely addicted to you too, Casey,” he tells me, rubbing his thumb along my cheek. “I think I’ve been in love with you just as long.”
He leans forward and takes my mouth in a kiss, a slow, languorous kiss with just a gentle twining of tongues, a kiss that is not about anything other than sealing our words to each other.
I know there’s a question in there he has avoided answering but that doesn’t matter right now, not while he’s here with me, kissing me like he means it. Kissing me and loving me just like I’m kissing and loving him right back.
CHAPTER 29
harrison
Oh boy. This rollercoaster has not stopped, collecting the two of us in its wake and spinning ahead of us out of control. I can’t stop it. I don’t think I want to stop it. I’m pretty sure I’ve felt like I’ve been in love with a boy or two before, but I’ve never been in love like this.
Casey Calloway is everything I shouldn’t want but boy do I want him. I want everything about him, and I love him all just as much. And now he’s just casually asked me to move in with him and I want it so much it hurts.
Only, how do I tell him this relationship has an expiration date? None of this is simple. I’m still technically employed by Tottenham, here in Sydney on a twelve-month secondment. I’ve been over my contract with the Fever with a fine toothcomb and cannot see any way around the glaring non-compete clause which prohibits the Fever from employing me even if they wanted to.
And Casey leaving Australia is out of the question. He needs to be here, and I would never let him leave the game for me. Not in a million years.
I shove those messy thoughts aside and leave them to sit with for another day. I still have time to be with Casey and I’m going to milk every last second of it. I just don’t know if moving in with him is the best use of that time, whether it would just heighten the pain when our time is up.
Still, I am far from surprised by the four a.m. wakeup call that follows not long after my talk with my parents. I don’t even need to check the display to know who it is. The extremely impolite hour of the call is enough of a tip off.
