Page 45 of Stepbrothers with Benefits
“Which is still weird because you do just fine with so many other things with me.”
“Yeah...I guess. But it’s...you.”
“Would it make you feel better if I pretended that made complete sense?”
“Asshole,” he snorted, his fingers on my hip now playing along the bone as if trying to find his next words there. “It’s like...the same reason I can’t talk about sex stuff with you is the same reason I tried to avoid seeing you naked.”
“I’m starting to wonder if this is a good or bad conversation to be having right now,” I said, my conscience starting to do more than just twinge.
“S’okay,” he murmured. “I tell you everything, you don’t judge me.”
“That’s true. Not where it counts anyway.”
“Yeah, like you judge me for pineapple on pizza.”
“Because that’s a crime against nature.”
“And for liking neon clothes.”
“Which is a crime against my abused eyes.”
“But not because I’m a bit of a ho or have shallow relationships with guys.”
“Yeah, definitely not going to judge you for having some fun in the way you want.”
“So you wouldn’t judge me for the fact that the reason I don’t talk about sex stuff or fight like hell not to see you naked is because I want to.”
“You...want to?”
“Talk about that stuff. See you.”
“See me...naked?”
“Yeah.”
It was said with such a casual air, at complete odds with the weight behind it. A weight that rapidly grew as I felt it hurtling toward my core. Milo continued to lie there, the brushing of his fingers slow, his breathing even. Both of which were taking on an entirely different meaning than before, and I felt my breath catch as the verbal and emotional meteor Milo had flung atme crashed with the kind of force that would have made the extinction of the dinosaurs look pitiful in comparison.
“You...” I had to force myself to take a breath, keeping it as subtle and careful as possible, not to send him into a panic. He might be fine at the moment, but if his drunken brain made the connections, especially understanding the full scope and implication of what he’d just said, he would lose his mind, “don’t want anything to do with those things...because you do want something to do with those things?”
“Yeah,” he said in the same tone that told me hestilldidn’t know the revelation he’d just divulged. “It just seems...easier not to deal with something if you...don’t deal with it. I don’t have to think too much about shit that’s been bothering me forever if I don’t keep tempting fate.”
“Shit, that’s been bothering you?”
“Yeah, man. Like...wanting to see you naked. Wanting to be naked with you while you’re naked. And...stuff.”
“Stuff,” I repeated because my mind still tried to process what he was saying. Which was a lot easier said than done because Milo...was attracted to me. “Sexual stuff?”
“Oh yeah,” he said as if he was a little surprised I didn’t know something simple, like the fact that he preferred the taste of butter substitute over the real stuff. “Probably parts of it have been there since before puberty, but like...in that way that happens before puberty steps in and makes it all weird, difficult, and then sexual. But yeah, all sorts of stuff. I might not have figured it out except for when I walked in after you got out of the shower.”
I suppose it shouldn’t have been a surprise that that memory stuck out to him, considering what he was telling me, but it still caught me by surprise. Mostly, because I knew precisely what event he was talking about. There had been zero hesitation inremembering that on my part when it probably shouldn’t have been that big of a deal. So why was it a big deal?
“And, ohGod,” he said with a heavy sigh, flopping one of his legs across mine and pushing his lower body against me. “Last week? Seeing you with Eva? I’ve been fighting for mylifeto keep that image out of my head.”
“That’s...why you were acting kind of off about the whole thing,” I said slowly, the whole thing making a lot more sense. “Kind of like how you didn’t want the other stuff, because you did want it.”
“Yeppers,” he said brightly. “And I wasreallygood about it this time.”
“Good how?”
