Page 35 of Crown of Light and Ashes
I should deny it. Should spit in his face and walk away. Instead, I hear myself asking, "And what do you want, Kaan? The obedient wife? The broken victim who submits without question?"
Something shifts in his expression, surprise, perhaps, that I've turned the question back on him. "What I want," he says slowly, his voice dropping to a growl that makes me wet, "is the truth beneath all your perfect lies. I want to see who you really are when all those careful masks fall away. I want to watch you come apart in my hands until you forget every reason you have to hate me."
"You couldn't handle the truth." Even to my own ears, the words sound like a challenge rather than a warning.
His laugh is dark honey, rich and dangerous and absolutely sinful. "Try me,hatun."
The golden magic coursing through my veins pulses in time with my heartbeat, making everything sharper, more vivid, more desperately intense. The texture of the stone wall against my back. The whisper of his breath against my cheek. The subtle shift of shadows around his feet, reaching toward me like hungry fingers that want to strip me bare.
"You first," I counter, some reckless part of me pushing back despite the drug-like euphoria making it harder to think clearly. "The merciless monster act, is that real, or just another mask you hide behind?"
His eyes narrow dangerously. "You think this is an act?"
"I think someone truly monstrous wouldn't need to remind everyone how dangerous they are at every opportunity." The words come easier now, the dust having stripped away my filters in waves, each surge of magic making me bolder. "Real monsters don't announce themselves. They blend in. They smile while they destroy you from the inside out."
For a heartbeat, genuine astonishment crosses his face before his expression hardens again. "Careful, Nesilhan. You're wandering into very dangerous territory."
"I've been in dangerous territory since the moment I set foot in your court." The fearlessness flooding through me grows stronger with each passing moment, though part of me still fights it. "What more can you do to me that you haven't already done?"
His hand tightens around my throat, just enough to remind me of his strength, just enough to make me gasp with something that isn't fear. "I've barely begun to show you what I can do to you, what I can make you beg for."
I should be terrified. Instead, I feel a perverse thrill at pushinghim to the edge of his control, even as the last of my resistance crumbles under the faerie magic. "Then show me. Stop talking about it and actually…"
His mouth crashes against mine, cutting off my challenge. The kiss is brutal, punishing, teeth scraping my lower lip, tongue demanding entry with no pretense of gentleness. I taste blood, copper, and salt, though whether it's from my split lip or his, I can't tell. I should fight him. Should bite down hard enough to make him bleed more.
Instead, my treacherous body arches into his, both hands fisting in his tunic to pull him closer rather than push him away—my injured wrist moving without pain thanks to Banu's healing magic. The dust in my system turns every point of contact into liquid lightning, making me gasp and moan against his mouth. This is wrong. This is madness.
This is absolutely liberating.
Something fundamental shifts inside me, a dam breaking, a wall crumbling, every defense I've built around my heart shattering at once. For the first time since our wedding night, I stop fighting the response he draws from me. Stop pretending I don't feel this dark, magnetic pull between us. The blood bond flares completely open as my barriers dissolve, amplifying every sensation until I can't tell where his desire ends and mine begins.
He pulls back just enough to stare at me, shock and triumph warring in his expression as he takes in my flushed cheeks, my parted lips, the way I'm panting like I've been running. "There you are," he murmurs, voice rougher than before. "Finally. My beautiful, deadly queen, showing me what she really wants."
His shadows wrap around my wrists, pinning them above my head against the wall with surprising gentleness. The pressure feels perfect against my now-healed wrist, transformed into pleasure by the lingering magic in my system.
"What have you done to me?" I whisper, the words half-accusation, half-plea.
"Nothing you didn't secretly want," he replies, mistaking the source of my sudden surrender. His mouth moves to my neck, teeth scraping the sensitive skin beneath my ear until I whimper. "I can feel it through the bond, what you try so hard to hide from yourself. How much you want to let go, to stop fighting, to let me take control."
With my barriers down, he can feel everything—every spike of arousal, every flutter of need, every moment where fear transforms into anticipation. The connection flows both ways now, and I'm drowning in his desire, his possessive hunger, his desperate need to claim me completely.
Part of me knows I should be horrified. Should be fighting with everything I have. But that part grows quieter with each passing second, drowned out by the roaring in my blood, the desperate need for more of his touch, more of this intoxicating surrender.
"Someone will see," I manage, even as my head falls back against the wall, giving him better access to my throat. Through the partial opening of our alcove, I can see the main corridor where courtiers occasionally pass.
His laugh vibrates against my skin, dark and possessive. "Let them." His hands find the ties of my training clothes, working them open with deliberate care. "Let the entire court see who you belong to, watch their Shadow Lady come undone."
I should be outraged at his possessiveness. Instead, the thought of being watched—of courtiers glimpsing their proud new Shadow Lady writhing and moaning at her husband's hands—sends a forbidden thrill straight to my core.
"You're mine," he growls, sliding my tunic off my shoulders slowly, leaving me in just my thin undershirt. Cool air hits my heatedskin, making me shiver with anticipation. "Mine to break, mine to pleasure, mine to worship, mine to destroy if I choose."
"And you're mine to kill," I counter, but the threat lacks conviction when I'm arching shamelessly into his touch.
He laughs darkly, the sound making me clench with need. "We'll see about that." His hand finds my breast through the thin fabric, fingers circling my nipple until it hardens painfully. "But first, let's see if we can make you scream my name loud enough for the entire palace to hear what I do to you."
The sound of approaching footsteps should make me panic. Should snap me out of whatever madness has taken hold. Instead, it only intensifies the fire building inside me, makes me wetter with the forbidden thrill of potential discovery. I meet Kaan's gaze and see my own reckless desire reflected back at me.
"Anyone could come by," I whisper, not sure if I'm protesting or encouraging.
