Page 24 of A Perfect Holiday
Chapter Six
VERITY
The next week was a bad one for me.
Boone remained distant, almost as though he had physically separated himself from everyone, but in other ways there was a new level of carefulness between us. As if we both recognized the fact that we were on very shaky ground, with neither of us wanting to cause any more damage. I couldn’t define it, really, but it showed up in a dozen little ways, like when I made him his favorite meal, and he made a point of thanking me. And when he took a basket of laundry and put it away, I made sure I let him know I appreciated it.
But our conversation was always strained and meager, as if we were skirting a danger zone—and I had slept alone ever since the night we brought Henry into our home. I often lay awake, listening for sounds from the living room, hoping that something, anything would bring him to me. But I knew it wouldn’t happen, and I missed him so much it felt as if someone had torn my heart out. But then I would catch him watching me, his eyes so stark and somber, and I would have to go into a different room. I hadn’t cried as many tears in my whole life as I cried that week.
I was standing at the kitchen sink, scrubbing some potatoes for potato salad. It was Friday, exactly one week after I’d learned I was truly unable to bear children. I was getting my courage up to schedule the surgery to tie my tubes, and my heart was heavy.
I hadn’t been sleeping well, and even scrubbing potatoes seemed to take an enormous amount of effort. I didn’t know how to undo the damage I’d done without it seeming like a blatant attempt to do just that. It had to be honest…
“Will he go to heaven?”
I looked down at Henry, who was watching me. He was such a good kid, helping me as much as he could, and Duel, who was napping, adored him.
“Pardon?”
“Bonkers. If he dies, will God take him up there? He was protecting me. That makes a difference to God, doesn’t it?”
I dropped the potato I had just cleaned, then bent down and gathered him against me. One of his little-boy arms slipped around my neck, his other arm still in a sling. “Oh, Henry. Of course, he will, baby. I’ll have my daddy say a prayer for him on Sunday. He’s a very brave little dog.”
“My mom gave him to me. I love him, but not only because she gave him to me. He’s fun and cute, and he loves to play with his red ball.”
I wiped a tear off his cheek. “I know you do, and I know you’re worried, Henry. I know how much it hurts. But, Bonkers is strong and he’ll pull through.”
He looked at me, his small face solemn. Then his eyes filled up, and his mouth started to tremble. “What is going to happen to me?” he whispered. “I’m an orphan.”
I hugged him, cuddling him close, not wanting to break down in front of my small charge. I couldn’t do that to him, because adults had to be strong—and face the awful stuff.
Struggling against the terrible pressure in my chest, I smoothed down his hair. “Don’t worry about that right now, Henry. Everything will work out just the way it’s supposed to. You just spend your time getting excited about Santa Claus coming in a week, and the gallery Christmas party is tomorrow. Do you trust me?” I asked, my voice unsteady.
I felt him dash away his tears; then he pulled out of my arms. Wiping away a smear of moisture on his cheek, I lifted his face again. “Okay?”
He nodded.
“Come with me.” I held out my hand, and I led him into my bedroom, where I pulled open a trunk. I had been working on what was inside and had just finished it yesterday. I knelt down and brought him over to kneel with me.
I reached into the trunk and pulled out the first Christmas stocking. “Here is Boone’s. Can you hold that for me?”
He took the stocking from me, and I pulled out one for me, and one for Duel. I took Boone’s from him and laid them on the floor, so our names were showing, and then I dipped in and brought out the last one.
I set it in his hands, and he looked down at it and then back up at me, those sad little eyes sparking. He turned it over, and he gasped. Very deliberately, he laid his stocking down with ours.
“That’s right, Henry. Now let’s get Duel and hang them up.”
Duel was already waking up when we went to his room. The three of us trooped to the fireplace, and I set the hooks. I hung up mine, then reached down and lifted Henry to my hip, handing his to him. With a beaming smile, he caught the loop of the stocking on the hook.
“Me next, Mommy,” Duel said with his arms up.
I set Henry down. “Yes,” I said giving him a kiss on his downy cheek. “You’re next.”
I handed him his, and he hung it up.
“What about Boone’s?” Henry asked.
“We’ll take care of that when he’s here. Okay?”
