Page 107 of Happily Ever Witch
The Queen was in a rotten mood. Some sort of big spell had been cast earlier. Even Bluebeard had felt it. Whatever it was, it hadreallypissed her off. Since she had magical powers and a short temper, Bluebeard was doing his very best to stay inconspicuous. Let the wolf take all of bitch-mom’s incoming fire. It washisfault they were in this mess, after all.
For her part, Snow White didn’t notice the tension. She was too googly-eyed over Marrok Wolf to notice much of anything.
The girl was totally enamored of his golden-boy, sports-star beauty. Her chin rested in her palm, her dreamy gaze fixed on the big, stupid dummy, like she believed hewantedto be at the table. Like maybe he’dchosento wear that fussy tuxedo and top hat. Like hehadn’tbeen abducted by her lunatic parents, and dumped in a dungeon, and then dragged to this dinner in magic-inhibiting shackles.
Like he didn’t keep talking about his damn wife!
Bluebeard had met Marrok years before, when they’d both been in prison. Sooner or later, every villain worth his salt had washed up in the WUB Club. Bluebeard thought of his brief incarceration as a badge of honor, even though he’d only been in for a tax misunderstanding. Turned out, you could only jointlyfile with one wife at a time. But, anyway, the wolf had once been charming and clever. Now…? Not so much.
Marrok was arguing with Snow White, putting no effort at all into being a pleasant date. He wouldn’t even shut up and focus on his soup, like Bluebeard was doing.
Granted, it was impossible for the wolf to pick up his spoon. There were chains cinched around Marrok’s torso, tethering him to the chair and keeping his arms at his side. But he could still smile or something. It would seriously help the romance vibe. The fuckwit was going to get Bluebeard killed if he kept this up. Plus, he was ruining the first course.
“Scarlettis my True Love. There is nothing you can do to change that.” Marrok told Snow White, for the tenth time in as many minutes. “I am never going to be with you, because I’m married toher. Do you understand?”
Snow White nodded, without a drop of comprehension. “You havesuchpretty eyes.” She told him sincerely.
Marrok closed said eyes in frustration. “You’re an abusive maniac, who sexually harassed me when I was in prison.” He reminded her through clenched teeth. “You did worse to other men. I don’t care if you have your memory or not:I don’t like you.”
“We should go on a picnic tomorrow, out in the woods.” She suggested guilelessly. “You would look so handsome in the snooooow…” She drew out the word in a baby-talk voice, her expression resembling an eleven year old girl who was looking at pictures of adorable kittens in bonnets.
Marrok’s jaw ticked.
The Queen of Clubs sighed in impatience.
The Mad Hatter stood up, a mustard jar in one hand and a jelly pot in the other. “Move down!” He called, for no reason.
The Queen of Clubs and Snow White promptly got to their feet, grabbing their soup bowls. Bluebeard wasn’t an idiot, so he did too. Everyone moved one seat clockwise and then sat down, again. Except Marrok, because he was chained in place and being a dick.
“I’m not going on a picnic with you.” He told Snow White, who was now sitting to his right.
“It’s so important that married people go on dates. It’ll keep the romance alive between us.”
“There is no romance between us and I’m not married to you. I’m married to Scarlett. Mywife. You’ve met her. Red hair. Blue eyes. Pushed you into a lake.”
“We should name our babies Marrok Jr.” Snow White decided with a sudden gasp of inspiration. “All of them.”
The wolf had had enough. He turned his head away from Snow White, pointedly ignoring her latest gibberish.
The Queen of Clubs’ gaze cut over to Bluebeard. “This is the best you could do?” She challenged icily. “My beloved stepdaughter wants this man, so she’ll have him, no matter what it takes. Why is he not cooperating?”
Bluebeard slumped down in his chair. “I’m trying.” He whined. “Wolves are crazy devoted to their True Loves and his connection to Scarlett goes even deeper than most.”
“Try… harder…” Her words were spaced out like bullets.
A very young maid scampered into the room, doing her best to be unseen by her employers. It was hopeless.
The Mad Hatter’s head whipped towards her, like he scented some new delicacy. Crap. He was going to suck the girl dry of Goodness and it was going to be gross. Bluebeard squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to have his appetite ruined. The soup was terrible, but there was still hope that the entrée might be better. He couldn’t risk his stomach heaving.
“What are you…? Holyshit!” Marrok exclaimed in horror.
There was a thump, as a body hit the floor.
Bluebeard opened one eye, checking to make sure the nasty part was over with. The maid was now a mummified corpse and the Mad Hatter was sucking on his fingers, satisfied with his snack. Considering where he was dining, Bluebeard was relieved it wasn’t worse.
Marrok seemed jolted at the girl’s death, his eyes staying on her body. Maybe he was finally realizing how seriously fucked-up this place was and he’d start behaving himself.
“Did you hear me?” Snow White asked Marrok in a louder tone, refusing to be ignored. She and her mother seemed unbothered by the murder. “I said we should name all our babies Marrok Jr.”
