Page 108 of Happily Ever Witch
The wolf didn’t respond.
Snow White’s lips formed into a pout.
“Move down!” The Mad Hatter called again.
Bluebeard sighed and trudged off to the next seat. Jesus, the meal was never going to end if they kept going round and round the damn table, every two minutes. Now, he was where Snow White had first sat, facing Marrok. The Mad Hatter wasat the Queen of Clubs’ original seat and the Queen was in the Hatter’s old spot. It was just fucking strange.
“What’s all this?” The Mad Hatter asked, spying the medical books piled around the Queen of Clubs’ former chair.
“You know what it is.” Her palpable frustration had found a new target. The Mad Hatter was stupid for drawing attention to himself. A smart man kept his mouth shut and his head down, when a woman was looking to blow her top. His many wives had taught Bluebeard that much. “I need to find a way to rip the heart out of that damn level six witch!”
Marrok’s face snapped around, his gaze now on the Queen.
The Queen of Clubs didn’t notice. “Trevelyan put the spell on herheart!” She cried at the Mad Hatter. “I know he did. We all felt it. I have no idea how to get it off without another witch’s help.”
“Anna…”
She talked right over her husband, caught up in the melodrama of whatever-the-heck her problem was. “Dragons don’t even care about their True Loves, but for some reason Trevelyan’s thrown in with that little green bitch. He’s protecting her!”
Marrok’s jaw dropped.
“Esmeralda is nothing.” The Mad Hatter soothed. Reasoning with her wouldn’t make a bit of difference. Bluebeard could have told him as much. Once a woman got started, a wise man just nodded and apologized. “You said yourself she’s just a pawn. I don’t even play chess, but I know a queen can easily block a pawn.”
She sniffed and didn’t respond.
The Mad Hatter kept going, still vainly attempting to pacify her. “Esmeralda won’t beat you, dragon or not. Even if her magic is fairest of them all --which it’s surely,surelynot-- she’s too late! You’ve already claimed three of the tiaras.”
“They’re useless without the Heart Kingdom’s.” The Queen retorted. “I have to find a way to get the tiaraandthat damn spell. Only Trevelyan’s rigged it, so I can’t get one without destroying the other. He’s helping her stay alive.”
Bluebeard was following enough of the argument to know the frigging Green Dragon was somehow involved. Great. Trevelyan had a gift for making every situation worse. They’d done time together, too. Bluebeard had barely survived it.
“Trevelyan is too dangerous to keep alive. I told you that.”
The Queen of Clubs drummed her fingernails on the tabletop, disregarding her husband’s I-told-yo-so-ing. “He’s stymied me unless I find a way to rip out her heart,whilekeeping it beating,andbeheading her at the same time!” She was fuming mad. The dragon did that to people. Their share circle therapy sessions had been the scariest time of Bluebeard’s life. Maybe even beating this dinner party. “You know, you could be helping me, Hatty.”
“Iamhelping you.” He said around a mouthful of jam and mustard.
“How? You’re supposed to be my king! We are a family of cooperation and fairness. Thewhiteside of the game!” She pointed towards the window. The huge checkerboard-ed Chess Tower was illuminated with spotlights, so everyone in the kingdom could read the time.
Not that Bluebeard had any clue how to read time on a chessboard.
The Mad Hatter’s brow furrowed, as he studied the clock-that-wasn’t-a-clock. “Huh.” He said mildly. “I always thought we were the red pieces.”
“Our daughter’s name is SnowWhite.” The Queen of Clubs reminded him with an impatient huff. “Like most of our kingdom iswhite. Like your hair iswhite.”
“I’m not old.” He interjected firmly, as if that was a vital fact to enter into the record. “It’s the yeti genes that make my hair this color. The same with Snow’s name. It’s important to honor my yeti heritage.”
The Mad Hatter was part yeti? Well, that explained the lack of table manners and the sucking people dry of magic.
“I hope the yetis don’t attack our picnic.” Snow White told Marrok. “Sometimes yetis attack people in the woods.”
“That is a hurtful stereotype against my ancestors.” The Mad Hatter objected. “And only sometimes true.”
“Isaid‘sometimes,’ Daddy! Marrok, tell him I said ‘sometimes.’”
Marrok stayed quiet. He seemed to be thinking, which was probably Bad news.
The Queen of Clubs wasn’t interested in justice for yetis. “Hatty, the Chess Tower only has white pieces left, except the red king and queen, and that horrible pawn.” Her voice was strident. “Youmadethe clock! How can you not know that?”
