Page 22 of Happily Ever Witch
“Do it, now!” The Walrus yelled at the White Rabbit. “Iknewthis would happen! Everyone who’s ever heard of this bastard knew it would happen! You were crazy to wake him up!”
The White Rabbit was outraged. “Itoldyou we shouldn’t wake him up without the Queen…”
Magic slammed out, like lightning flashes and the wings of birds.
Beautiful and electric and everywhere.
One second, Trevelyan was plotting a way to tackle the Rabbit and rip the syringe from his grasp. The next, the Rabbit was gone. So were the Walrus and the few playing card guards who had braved a return to the room. In their place was an impromptu barnyard of panicking pigs. The creatures raced around the lab, frantically squealing amid piles of clothing.
There was only one way that could possibly happen: The witch had just saved him.
Trevelyan slowly turned to look at her.
“Shit.” Esmeralda muttered. “That damn spellneverworks right.”
Trevelyan had no idea what that complaint meant. Her magic seemed to have worked beautifully. It had been a massive blast of energy from someone with such limited talent, as a matter of fact. The witch might only be fifty-one percent Bad,but she’d made the most of it. He was fairly sure that she’d just transformed everyone in a forty mile radius into a walking ham.
And her magic had been green.
To the Last of the Green Dragons, that was nearly as important as Esmeralda stopping their assailants. Magic came in many colors, but none of the other shades wereright. (At least in Trevelyan’s opinion and who else’s opinion even mattered?) The witch’s powers matched his own. Bright, sinister green that burned like unholy fire.
The dragon purred.
“Assholes.” Esmeralda continued, glowering at the swarm of pigs. “I told you I’d get you sooner or later, didn’t I?” She glanced over at Trevelyan. “You okay?
As far back as he could remember, no one had ever tried to physically protect him. Why would they? He was the greatest, darkest, most powerful villain around. He wasn’t sure how to react to a level one witch stepping in to shield him from harm. His brain couldn’t quite process it, so he instinctively fell back on what he knew: Pride and anger and lies.
“I didn’t need your help.” Trevelyan snapped. “Ineverneed help. I had it under control.”
“You’re welcome, jerkoff.”
Chapter Five
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The Spade Castle
Why did jobs require so much work?
Lily Pleasance became the Queen of Spades because being a sheriff of the Swan Kingdom had been a constant pain in the ass. Confessions to listen to, and crimes to investigate, and whiny victims expecting her to solve all their damn problems. Being employed took up her whole day! The powers-that-be had ignored her helpful suggestion-box suggestions to just pay her and let her stay home. Dick-wads. So, she’d left for greener pastures.
Well, Fall-colored pastures, anyway.
She’d been wasting her talents with the snooty swans. Anybody could see Lily was made for bigger things and Wonderland had seemed like a real growth opportunity. She’d taken a job in the Kingdom of Spades’ police department, with her eyes to the future. From there, Lily had worked her way up to queen, with a few strategic murders and well-deserved promotions. Now, she had a diamond tiara on her head and a great big castle of her own.
…And there wasstilltoo much damn work.
All the energy it took to get this job and, in the end, it was just as annoying as the last one. It wasn’t fair. Lily ran a hand through her dark hair and wondered if queens got vacation days. She needed a break, in some faraway land.
“The tea party was ruined.” The March Hare told her, watching the flamingo-croquet match being played on the leaf-covered yard. He was a jittery human-sized creature, with a crippling addiction to Earl Grey that everyone was polite enough to ignore. “It’s why we fled here, where we could have a civilized meal.”
Tea had been quickly prepared upon their arrival. It was served outside, on the flagstone patio behind the castle. The Spade Palace was the most practical of Wonderland’s four royal residences, more of a charming chalet than an ornate castle. It was constructed of gray stone, half-timber walls and tapered chimneys, giving it the look of an over-grown cottage. The thatched roof added an old-timey touch. It also leaked like a son of a bitch and made everything smell musty. Lily preferred to spend her days out in the crisp mountain air.
“The witch landed right on the table and started blasting guests with her magic. Can you imagine?” The March Hare continued, shaking his head in despair. “I’m not surewhatAlice did after that. I was running in the other direction. Did you see Alice’s reaction, Caterpillar?”
