Page 35 of The Rake I Wished For
One day he’d be the friend she deserved. But for now…
He let out a huff of self-disgust as he forced his gaze away. For now, he was the veriest fool. He’d avoided her for the remainder of the day yesterday and this morning, and he was already making plans to flee.
Coward.It was Jocelyn’s voice in his head, teasing and light. It was always Jocelyn’s voice he heard these days.
For how long now had she been the voice in his head when he needed cheering? Better question. For how long had she been the woman of his heart?
A shadow looming over Harlow had him glancing up with a start.
“Join me in my study?” Liam said as he nodded toward his private quarters. It wasn’t so much a question as an order.
“Of course.” Harlow stood and followed, resisting the urge to steal another glance at Jocelyn.
“I’ll admit, Harlow…” Liam said as he settled into an armchair near the open window which let in a pleasant breeze. “Curiosity has gotten the best of me.”
And me, Harlow could say. He inwardly flinched.I was too curious about what it would be like to kiss your sister, you see…
Harlow paced over to the window and looked out, guilt a blasted vise around his chest. He’d been a wretched friend to them both. And now he couldn’t bring himself to look his oldest, closest friend in the eye after what he’d done.
“Tell me about these investors of yours.”
That was what Liam said aloud. But Harlow knew very well what he meant.
Tell me why you’ve kept it a secret.
Tell me what you’re hiding…
Harlow inhaled deeply, breathing in the fresh air. It was ridiculous, the position in which he’d put himself. He never should have kept it a secret in the first place. But, as he was becoming increasingly aware with Jocelyn—the longer one buried one’s secrets, even from oneself, the more explosive they were when they were exposed.
There was nothing for it but to start at the beginning. “Two years ago, after my uncle passed and left me that pittance of an inheritance, I decided to use it to gamble.”
In the pause that followed, Harlow waited for Liam to make some jest.Of course you did—the cards always call your name when money falls into your hands.
Harlow would have laughed with him. Because for years, that was true. Truth was, he’d been nothing more than a wastrel in his youth. No better than his father who’d lived from win to win at the gaming tables, and who spent those winnings as quickly as they came on whores and drink.
When Liam broke the silence, his tone wasn’t joking, however. He was utterly serious when he said, “I trust it was a worthy endeavor…”
Harlow’s chest grew inexplicably tight.
I trust.
Those two words meant more to him that he could say. And he was all too aware that they were words he didn’t deserve to hear.
He cleared his throat. “I purchased some land just outside of London proper,” he said, starting the long tale and not glancing at Liam as he spoke.
“So you…” Liam started and stopped. His hesitancy was so rare, Harlow finally turned to face his old friend, whose face was the very picture of surprise.
“You rebuilt the property with your own two hands?” Liam said.
Harlow nodded. “I sold it for a small profit, and then bought another bigger property,” he said. “This time I had investors—”
“Investors.” Liam blinked, and Harlow felt a stab in his gut at the hurt look that passed over his old friend’s features. “Why didn’t you come to me for help?”
Harlow’s jaw clenched. That was the question, wasn’t it? It was the one he’d been hoping to avoid.
“At first I wasn’t sure I’d be able to repay you,” Harlow said, his tone gruff. “And then…”
He was still searching for the words when Liam finished for him. “Then you weren’t sure if I’d give it to you.” Liam stood abruptly. “Harlow. Did you really think I’d say no?”
