Page 127 of Search My Soul
“I’ll be that. Now go get your ass in the shower. I sprayed the air freshener, but nothing is strong enough to eliminate the stank. Please don’t make me ask again.” She stood there with her hands on her hips. I couldn’t believe she brought her ass here to bully me.
“Chop, chop, shitty booty. I know those boxers have skid marks from the front to the back.”
“You want to see? You seem pressed about what I have going on in my draws. If you miss it, all you had to do was say so.”
“In your dreams, Pepe Le Pew. Here, take one of these with you.” I looked between her and the trash bag, trying to figure out what it was for.
“What are you giving me this for?”
“You might as well throw the whole outfit away. There isn’t a strong enough laundry detergent that can tackle that kind of filth. Those clothes are probably gonna get up and walk away as soon as you take them off. Gone now.”
“You do know my mama is dead, right?”
“I may not be your mama, but I’m big mama. Please don’t make me have to repeat myself.” She extended her arm, pointing to the bedroom.
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re annoying?”
“Plenty of times. Has anyone ever told you that you smell like the homeless man on Harker Street who crump dances on the corner? Go wash your ass, Soul!”
“I’m going, damn! Mean ass,” I grumbled under my breath. The moment I got the chance, I was cussing my sorry ass brother and best friend out. The last thing I wanted was someone hovering over me like a fucking child.
After I finished my shower, I felt a lot better. My high was starting to wear off, though, so I planned to pop another pill before I went back out of the room. Wrapping the towel aroundmy waist, I stepped into my room. The cool air halted me, but it was Juicy sitting on the side of my bed that caught me off guard.
“What are you doing in here?” She glanced up from her phone and observed me from head to toe. I made my dick jump since she couldn’t keep her eyes off it.
“You can save the tricks. I don’t fuck with men who have body odor issues. I can’t be telling my girls that I’m fucking with musty Melvin.” I rolled my eyes as she pinched her nose.
“Why are you in my room? Don’t you have something more useful you could be doing?”
“I’m in here so I can conduct a smell test. I need to make sure you hit all the danger spots. Otherwise, I’m gonna make you get back in there and try again.”
“Yo, you are wildin’ right now.” I laughed because there was no way she was being serious. When she stood to her feet and made her way over to me, I realized this nut job wasn’t joking.
“Juicy, I swear if you don’t get away from me, I’m gonna bite you. You’re treating me like a kid with silver caps, so I’m gonna act like one.”
“Lift your arms.”
“You can clearly see that I just got out of the shower. I haven’t gotten a chance to put on deodorant,” I reasoned.
“I need to verify you’re not musty before you even put on the deodorant. It defeats the purpose if you’re still smelly.”
“Hurry up, man.” I stood there as she sniffed under my arms. I could hear her snickering when she sniffed behind my ears. She was being ridiculous, and she knew it.
“What now?”
“Well, I’m glad to know you still know how to clean yourself. So that means you sitting around here in your own funk was a choice. Please do better.”
“You better be glad I love you, otherwise, I would push you down like Que did ol’ girl in that basketball movie we watched.”
“I can’t believe you remember that. Que did my girl Monica so wrong from the very beginning. I can’t believe I thought that was a romance movie. Watching it as an adult made me realize it was fucking horror movie.” Her laughter was infectious, and I couldn’t help but admire her beauty. You would never know she had been through some tough shit because she wore a smile that could light up a room.
“Yeah, whatever. Now, can you please give me some privacy? Your sons are down the hall. Go bother them.”
“I don’t mind chilling here. You seem to be in a hurry to get rid of me. Why is that?” I didn’t miss the hint of suspicion in her tone. It made me wonder what else she knew.
“You’ve made it abundantly clear there is no getting rid of you, so I won’t bother. However, I came here to be alone. The least you can do is let me air-dry my balls in peace.”
“No, I think I’ll sit right here. It’ll give us time to catch up.” Juicy plopped back down on my bed, opened a pack of cashews, and began tossing them in her mouth. I cursed under my breath knowing this was going to be a long night.
