Page 160 of Bones
I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him tight against me. “I’m—” my voice broke, “I’m tryin’. I s-swear.”
“That’s all I’m askin’.”
I sniffled. I hated that this was so hard for me, that I was frustrating him, that I was so fucking damaged and he had to work so hard?—
He pulled back to look at me, eyes glowing in the firelight. “This is the part where you tell me what’s goin’ on in your head. What’s scarin’ you?”
Fear clogged my throat, and for a moment we stared at each other as I struggled.
“I just…so much of me is…is broken.” My fingers twitched with the urge to touch the brand on my chest.
“Bones—”
“No, Trey, listen,” I interrupted, “you…bein’ with you feels like…likeyou’rehealin’me. But I’m so scared if I lose you…if somethin’ happens to you?—”
“Don’t go down that path.”
“Trey, it’s…I’ve losteveryoneI ever cared about. I’m stuck on this fuckin’ path.”
“You’re only stuck if you believe you’re stuck.” He looked so calmly confident.
“Trey,” I said, frustrated, “it’s not that easy. I can’t justbelievethings are different and then they magically are."
“Why not?” he asked. “Maybe if you put good things out into the world, good things will find you.”
We stared at each other for a few breaths before I spoke.
“That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
He took my hands and squeezed them. "Bones, you can heal people just by touching them. A year ago, if somebody had asked me if I believed that kinda magic existed, I would'velaughed.Magic exists, so maybe itisthat simple.”
“If it’s that simple, then why do good people go through shit?” I demanded.
"I dunno," he said like it didn't terrify him to not have answers. "But I don't think anythin' bad can come from being a good person." He waited, but I stayed silent, so after a minute he just sighed. "C'mon, you should get some sleep now."
I pulled off my boots and climbed into the abandoned bedroll, watching him put more wood on the fire. My thoughts rattled around in my head like rocks. I didn’t know how to explain to him that he was putting the pieces of me back together, but if I lost him, I would break again. And I wasn’t sure there’d be anything left of me.
25
After two nights of not hearing the wolves, we began to relax that maybe they'd given up and turned back. We emerged from the mountains to find the remains of a paved road that wound along beside the large beautiful river stretching out in front of us. I understood why Madame wanted to control the bridge. The river was huge and wide. If the dam wasn't there, a person would have to travel far out of their way trying to find a way around. Swimming seemed risky and would be straight-up foolish during the cold months.
The horse’s hooves sounded too loud on the pavement, echoing off the growing cliff walls to our left. It put me on edge. We could see the dam in the distance, but I couldn’t tell what kind of state it was in from so far away. I wondered how long it would last. What would happen when it broke down?
It took half the day to reach the dam. The road had been carved out of the rocky cliffs and fallen rocks littered the ground, ranging from pebbles to giant boulders. We had to dismount and walk for most of it. I went first, trying to find a safe path, and Trey followed, leading the horse. The horse threw her head back and snorted, often fighting to pull away from Trey when rocks would move and shift underneath her hooves, but he coaxed her through it. On the right side of us, the ground dropped into a steep hill down to the river. I tried to ignore my anxiety about being trapped between the rocky wall and the edge of a cliff.
When we got closer, I stared at the giant wall of concrete, speechless at the enormous size of the thing. How had they built something so huge? How had they kept the river back so theycouldbuild it?
“How did they—” I started to ask.
The horse turned her head and jumped sideways a second before something leapt out from behind a giant boulder. A giant wolf narrowly missed us with its snapping jaw and the horse let out a terrified noise and took off at a gallop. I shrieked, clinging to the saddle horn, and Trey swore as he grabbed onto me with one arm and fumbled for his gun with the other. Behind us howling and barks filled the air, spurring the horse on even faster, and I managed to glance behind to see more than half a dozen huge grey wolves pursuing us.
“Hold on!” Trey yelled over the sound. “Let the horse go and just hold on!”
He twisted backwards and the first gunshot made my ears ring. One of the wolves yelped, and maybe I imagined it, but the howls and barks seemedangrier.
We flew down the rocky road, and I prayed to any gods listening that the horse wouldn’t fall on the loose rocks. My eyes watered and I squinted through the wind to see the dam rapidly approaching. The horse ran as fast as she could, but the wolves easily kept pace. Trey continued to shoot, and I heard a few yelps, but I had no idea if he’d managed to kill any of them.
“Try to steer her onto the bridge!” Trey yelled in my ear, and then I heard the telltale click of an empty gun.
