Page 116 of Things I Read About

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Samantha: Nate is here already. Inside, downstairs, talking with Shep.

Samantha: Just FYI!!!!

Sally: God bless you.

Samantha: Skye said she wants to sneak laxatives into his coffee.

Sally: WHAT! NO!

Samantha: She couldn’t find any laxatives.

Samantha: Close one!

She sends me a string of emotional emojis along with knives and the poop face. I can’t help but smile. For a second.

Until I realize I’m about to be stuck with Nate for hours in the car, then days, maybe even weeks more in Dallas. What was I thinking? How can I possibly live like that? With him hovering around me, but not with me.

But to change things would upset the whole system they have in place for protecting us. I can’t expect them to make changes now. It’ll be fine.

Oh.

All my space.

Take up all my space.

I look back down at my phone.

Sally: Hey, I have a favor but can you please be SUBTLE about this…

Samantha: This does not sound like the job for me so far but I’m listening?

Sally: Ask Emerson to have Fergus switch people around. I can’t do this with Nate for days or weeks. It’s too hard.

Samantha: On it. I won’t even say anything I’ll just show this text to Emerson.

Sally: Ok

Samantha: I’m like a ninja.

Samantha: A spy! A secret agent!

Sally: No.

Samantha: LOL ok no not really. But E says it’s handled.

Samantha: We got you.

Sally: Thanks

I brush my hair and then throw it up in a topknot. I put on concealer and a little bit of mascara to compensate for all the crying. I walk to the top of the stairs and take a breath. I hear all my sisters chatting and suitcases rolling.

I can do this. All my space.

I walk downstairs, head high, posture casual. I look for him, but that static connection isn’t there. Nate isn’t here. But if he isn’t here, and everyone else is, then where did he go?

“He went ahead to the jet,” Dean says quietly beside me.

“Oh.”

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