Page 105 of Hunt for the Roses
“They can get over this. It’ll be fine,” I grit out.
“It’s not just about your family. Even though I can’t bear to keep you to myself, knowing you’re at odds with them.” The cold temperature turns to freezing, and the blood in my veins solidifies to ice. “Maybe I can’t accept the idea that our love can’t be like it was for you and Kyle. A love that was pure, with no questions asked.”
I shake my head as tears painfully sting my eyes, and I push on Dane’s chest with two angry fists. “No. Our love can be that way.”
Dane curls his hands around my fists and holds them closer to his chest. “But it shouldn’t be like this,” he whispers.
As tender as his touch is, it feels brutal.
I bang my fists into Dane’s chest again. “Like what, Dane?!”
Dane matches my tone. “Like we’re never going to escape the past! There are moments when I look at you and see a glimpse of hesitation or guilt.” His grip tightens over my fists when he continues on. “I don’t want your love for me to come at that expense,” he admits and then places one hand over my heart. “There’s always going to be a part of your heart that still beats for him. I’m never going to have your whole heart.”
I shake my head as I scrunch my face, tears flowing from my eyes as the frozen streams in my veins shatter to pieces, leaving my heart abandoned of a life source.
“Can you honestly tell me you’re all in with no reservations?” Dane whispers.
“Dane, don’t do this, please,” I breathe out.
“Hey,” he whispers as he starts to swipe my wet cheeks with his thumbs, but he barely gets to complete his mission when I aggressively swat his hands away and pull back.
“No! You don’t get to do this to me! You don’t get to coddle me while you break my heart!” Dane just stares back at me as he swallows a nervous lump, and I just continue on. “You’re faulting me for my past, but the reality is this isn’t my fault!” I wipe my own tears from my cheeks with my fingers, and then cut him a firm stare as my jaw becomes rigid. “The truth is, you don’t truly love me. Because if you did, you would accept my past and the flaws that come with it.”
Dane takes a step to try and pull me to him, but I reject him instantly.
“No!” I scream as I push him off me. “I’ll make this easy for you. We’re done.”
With that, I turn and walk to my car, and with every step I walk away from Dane, a piece of my soul breaks off, cracking under my foot.
“Here, man, I think you could use this,” Trent says as he hands me a beer and ice pack on the porch of his apartment. After everything that happened outside Aria’s dad’s restaurant, I couldn’t bear to be home tonight. I needed to just get away from it all. Luckily, when I called Trent, he offered me his couch for the night.
“Thanks,” I say as I take a sip of beer and place an ice pack to my jaw. I wince at the applied pressure but know it’s necessary.
Trent takes a sip of his beer as he takes the seat next to me. “So does Ronnie look as good as you do?”
“Not quite,” I say honestly as I stare out at the courtyard of Trent’s apartment complex, reliving everything that happened only a couple hours ago.
“So what’re you going to do? What’re you and Ari going to do?” Trent asks.
I put my beer down on the table in front of me and lean my forehead on my hand as I continue to ice the side of my face. “I really don’t know,” I answer, and then I let out a breath. “The thing is, I want her love the way she gave her love to Kyle. You know?”
Trent is silent for a few moments, and then he leans his elbows on his knees as he turns his head to me. “You may be asking for too much, Dane. And I know that sucks to hear, but you need to be willing to accept that.”
“I know,” I breathe out as I lean back in my chair with a huff. “But I don’t know if I can accept it. That’s the problem.”
“He’s always going to be part of her. This is on you now. You have to decide how much being with her is worth to you,” Trent says.
I chuck my ice pack at the porch railing in front of me. “Goddammit!” I yell as I stand up and run my hands through my hair. “How the fuck did this happen to me?” I turn to face Trent. “I fell for the one girl I can’t have. How’s that for fucking irony?” I ask as I let out a frustrated chuckle.
“Youcanbe with her,” Trent responds.
I look away from him and sigh as I put my hands on my hips. “Not the way I want her.”
Trent gets up from his chair and starts lecturing as he spreads his arms out. “Dane, what did you expect?” he says. “Did you have blinders on this whole time up until now?”
I’m still looking away from him as I shake my head in disbelief. “Nothing mattered to me other than just being with her,” I whisper. “Or maybe I was just fooling myself, I don’t know. I don’t fucking know.”
Trent comes up to me and pats the side of my arm. “You need to talk to her, Dane.”
