Page 95 of Hunt for the Roses
Thursday, August 4, 2022
The next night, Dane and I decide to watch the sunset as we take a walk along the beach. I have my hair slicked back with a white floral print headband to match my white tank top that’s tucked into my high-rise denim shorts.
Dane grabs my hand and brings it up to his lips, and when I turn to look at him, he just smiles and puts our hands down so our fingers are woven between us as we walk.
“Surprised you aren’t begging us to go to Disco Doughnuts right now,” Dane teases.
“That’s tempting,” I laugh out. “But I think I have everything I want, right here.”
Dane bends down to nudge my forehead with a smile for a brief moment, and I swear I can feel my heart sprout wings as it flutters uncontrollably. I’m grinning wide when Dane stands up straighter and we resume walking alongside one another. “But, that’s not to say I won’t bother you ever in the future,” I joke.
He chuckles as he looks ahead. “I expected that.”
I smile as I look out in front of me, and then lick my lips before starting the conversation back up. “Kate came to visit me.”
I see Dane turn his head to look at me in my line of vision. “What happened?” he asks.
I’m still looking ahead as I speak. “She wanted to apologize. Although I don’t really know if there’s anything she should have to apologize for.”
I notice Dane turns his head to face forward again, and we continue to walk through our stewing thoughts until he finally voices his. “Do you think we have something to apologize for?”
“Do you?” I ask as I look over at him, and the way the evening sunrays illuminate the gorgeous contours of his face makes me crave his rationale that much more.
I want to be convinced this is okay.
I want to be convinced that we deserve this.
Dane licks his lips and slightly narrows his eyes as he ponders his response. “An apology implies that you regret something.” Then he turns his head to look at me. “I could never regret you. I could never regretthis.”
I exhale the faintest breath as I stop walking and stand in front of him to place my free palm on his chest. Dane places a hand over mine as our other hands are still interlocked between us, and I just stare into Dane’s olive-green crewneck t-shirt. “How do you know the right thing to say every single time?” I whisper.
“Because I’m giving my heart a chance to win,” Dane says.
I swallow thickly as I look up at him. “Against?” I ask softly.
“My guilt.” I’m rendered speechless, and just hold Dane’s green hues against my brown ones. “I carry the same burden as you, Ari. But maybe if we carry it together, the weight will be less painful.”
I inhale as I look down and flip my palm upward against his chest so our fingers can tenderly play together. “Maybe we need to start living for small moments instead of the big ones.”
“What do you mean?” Dane asks above me.
Keeping my eyes trained on our fingers, I elaborate. “Maybe we need to stop focusing on what’s going to happen tonight, tomorrow, or the next day. Maybe we need to just enjoy being in the present.” Then I look up at Dane. “Maybe then we can accumulate enough happiness to win against the storm.”
“I’m liking this moment,” Dane whispers.
My lips tip up at the corner as I whisper back. “Me too.”
Dane bends to press his forehead against mine, and both our eyes close as we let the ocean breeze shield us from the chaos that lurks in the background. “Can you promise me something?” Dane asks.
“Anything,” I say.
“If you ever feel like I’m not making you the happiest you could possibly be, I never want you to feel trapped.”
I shake my head against his forehead. “I’d never feel trapped with you. It’s the exact opposite,” I breathe.
Dane lets go of both my hands and cups the sides of my face to bring me in for a passionate kiss, letting our lips tenderly complete the conversation. I melt into his touch as my feelings liquify from their previous icebound state, and my palms press into his firm chest as I curl my fingers into the fabric of his shirt. When our lips pull away, Dane’s the first to speak. “Don’t stop fighting,” he says.
I tilt my head to look up at Dane as I snake a palm up to cup the side of his face. “You give me all the armor I need,” I say before placing a single, light kiss to his lips. I graze the tip of my nose against his, allowing us both to sink into the moment for a few more needed seconds, and he returns my gesture with just as much care. Then I peel myself off of him and start to walk backwards with a playful, devious smirk.
