Page 19 of Hunt for the Roses
I throw him an appreciative smile, and Dane sheds a nervous smile as he looks off to the side. Taking that as my cue, I hike a thumb over my shoulder. “I should get going.”
Dane waves a vague hand gesture. “Listen, it was great to see you.”
“You too,” I say as I start to walk backwards a few steps to signal that I’m going to leave.
Dane quickly waves a hand at me. “See you later.”
I throw a quick wave back at him, and then turn to my car. As I drive off, I notice that Dane is still standing in the same position I left him.
* * *
~Seven Months After~
Dr. Connelly starts our therapy session off from her infamous brown leather arm chair. “So how have things changed since the last time we spoke? And there’s no pressure here. It’s okay if nothing has changed because we can talk about that too.”
“I think I’ve been better at refocusing my energy. I’m eating more. I go on small outings with my family. I read.”
“This is good.”
I nod with a shrug, not as convinced with my progress as Dr. Connelly is.
“You mentioned family, but what about friends?” Dr. Connelly asks.
I shake my head. “It’s too difficult to be around them a lot.”
“Why is that?”
“All of us were friends, and we have so many memories with Kyle. It’s too much to be around them as often as I used to be. Especially as a group. I can handle hanging out with them individually, but as a group…” I sigh when I trail off. “As a group, I feel the empty chair that much more.”
“Do they reach out to you? Your friends?”
“Yes. Kate reaches out to me weekly, and I’ve seen her briefly a few times. Dane reaches out a few times a month to see how I’m doing or if I need anything, and Trent does the same.”
“It’s nice that you have friends who care about you so much. That’s a beautiful thing.”
“I guess.”
My tone is not confident at all, and Dr. Connelly looks at me curiously. “You don’t seem like you agree. Talk to me about that.”
I look out the window. “It’s just so hard. It’s so hard to see good in this world after everything that’s happened.” I look back to my therapist. “I feel betrayed. I feel betrayed bylife.”
Dr. Connelly considers me for a moment before responding. “I think anyone in your position would have the right to feel that way. But what you’re doing is you’re putting blinders on over good things in your life. You don’t want to accept that life can be good to you because you feel wronged. You feel owed.”
I look at her with a hard stare. “Yeah, I do feel wronged.” I know she’s going to try and tell me that I shouldn’t feel that way, but she doesn’t get to tell me that. I’ve been let down by life in one of the worst possible ways, and I have every right to be bitter.
“Aria, the problem with that is that it’s counterintuitive. You’re setting yourself up for more sadness. You’ve accepted that life is against you, and you refuse to see life’s beauty.” I slightly roll my eyes as I look out the window again. Sometimes, I can’t take these inspirational speeches she gives because most of it is crap if you ask me. But in true therapist fashion, Dr. Connelly continues on anyway. “I want you to think about this quote, and we’ll end today’s session with a discussion on it.”
I look back at my therapist. “Like what? ‘Everything happens for a reason’? No offense, but I’m not sure I’m going to find much meaning behind a quote with all that’s happened to me,” I admit.
“You’re stuck with me anyway,” Dr. Connelly retorts, and I guess she does have a point.
“Can’t argue with that. Do your best,” I say.
“‘When life throws thorns, hunt for the roses.’”
I blankly stare at Dr. Connelly for a couple seconds, not expecting such a unique quote.
“Who’s it from?”
