Page 108 of Dove
Josh’s expression turned contrite, unable to meet my intense, questioning stare.
“Do you remember Ollie?” he asked randomly. The non-sequitur had my eyebrows drawing down in confusion.
“He graduated a year ahead of me,” he explained. “You may not remember him. His parents are surgeons at?—”
“Greenwich Memorial, yeah, I remember.” I just had no idea how this had to do with what I asked.
The sheets whispered as Josh fidgeted, settling into a more comfortable position. He drew his arm up from under the pillows so his hand could cradle his head while his other drifted down to rest on the curve of my waist.
“Well, he had access to a pretty sizeable college fund. I guess the plan was always to follow in his parent’s footsteps, you know? Threw us all for a loop when we found out he’d bought a gym over in Marleysville behind his parents back with the money instead.”
My jaw dropped. “No way.”
Everyone had known Oliver Wright V was meant to be a surgeon, just like his parents. Just like his parent’s parents. They were a family of surgeons, dating back generations. It wasn’t talked about—it justwas. I was a little surprised I hadn’t heard about it, usually once the town sniffed out gossip, it spread like wildfire. Then again, the Wright’s were influential enough to stop even a whisper of their family in its tracks.
“Oh, yeah.” He nodded. “Caused a huge blow out. His parents disowned him and everything. Must be a theme around here.” Josh rolled his eyes. “If he wasn’t going to medical school, they wanted nothing to do with him. He was left with only what he had left over after buying the gym.”
“That’s sad.” Accidents had taken my parents from me. I couldn’t imagine losing them by their choice alone. My heart went out to him.
Josh gave a one-shoulder shrug. “I’m sure Ollie misses them, but he really didn’t want to be a surgeon. The kid fainted when he had to dissect afrog, for god’s sake, I don’t know who his parents were kidding thinking he’d willingly pick up a scalpel. Ollie’s happy being a gym rat.”
“You still talk to him?” I asked, curious.
Josh paused, but the fingers of his hand slipped under the hem of my nightshirt so he could rub the warm skin beneath, as if he needed the physical touch. “That’s… actually why I brought it up. When Ollie found out what happened, I guess he felt a kind of kinship with me or something. I was only at Eddie’s a few days when he offered me a job. Other than Ed’s parents offering me a job at the restaurant, I didn’t really have any other options in town, and I didn’t really want to run into Gareth or—” He stumbled on his words, cutting off awkwardly. But I knew what he was about to say.
Orme.
I tried not to be hurt. I understood, in a way, how seeing me but not being able to talk to me would have hurthim.Plus, there was no way I’d have left him alone if he stayed in Haven. I would have demanded an answer from him, bugged him until he caved.
“So, I accepted. Hitched a ride to Marleysville, where he’d set up his gym.”
“Wait.” My eyes narrowed dangerously as I realized what that meant. “You were inMarleysvillethis whole time?” When Josh didn’t say anything, I smacked his arm. “Josh that’s onlytwo hours away!”
“I wanted to be far enough that I wouldn’t cause any problems, but close enough that if you ever needed me, I could be there for you.” His hands splayed wide over my ribs, his thumb just barely touching the curve of my breast. As if he hit some secret button, my anger dissipated instantly.
“Ialwaysneed you,” I admitted brokenly, voice hitching as the prickle of tears threatened behind my eyes. To know he was so close this whole time…
I should have pressed Eddie more. I should have reached out to his other friends. If I had, maybe I would have found him before all this time had passed. I let my anger and pain get the best of me instead of taking action. I should have fought harder to figure out why he left and where he went.
Josh leaned his forehead against mine as he whispered back, “I know, baby. I listened to every voicemail, read every text. Iknowhow badly I hurt you. But it would have hurt worse if you’d lost your mom and Gareth because of me. I couldn’t risk that happening.”
“That wouldn’t?—”
This time he was the one to cut me off with a kiss.
“To answer your original question”—he continued as if I hadn’t spoken when he broke away—“I was with a client when you called, and I let it go to voicemail like I always do. I figured I’d wait until after I was done to listen to it, but when I got that second call so soon after, I knew something was wrong. Gut feeling, I guess. So, I excused myself to go listen to it. I was on the second floor, which looks out over the main part of the gym. I was leaning over the banister as it played and…hearing the pain in your voice as you explained what happened, knowing I wasn’t there for you…” He trailed off, as if he couldn’t find the words.
“I hadn’t even realized I’d dropped my phone until I was halfway out the door, no bag, no keys, just gunning it for my car. Ollie stopped me. It must have been the look on my face that clued him in, because he made me sit down and drink some water, calming me down as much as he could before gathering all my stuff for me. Made sure I was okay to drive first, but I promise, Dove, I was on my way to you as soon as I could. Unfortunately, my cell was beyond repair the moment it hit thecement floor, and I didn’t even think to use anyone else’s before I left. I wasn’t thinking beyond getting toyou. I wanted so badly to be there for you, for Josie, and”—his voice cracked—“for dad.”
My heart broke as he broke, and I pulled him into a hug. His face found the place between my neck and shoulder as he clung to me. A slight dampness grew on my skin, but I didn’t mention it, just held him tighter, running my hand in soothing strokes through the hair at the nape of his neck.
I wanted to be mad at Josh for not telling me how close he was, for being just out of reach, but I couldn’t. This situation had been hard on both of us, but Josh was the one who lost everything. His home. His only remaining parent.Me.
He’d also lost the ability to reconcile with his father. Josh and Gareth got along about as well as oil and water, but so much of that had been perpetuated by Gareth due to the loss of Josh’s mom. It had taken Josh years to figure out why his dad was distant and cold toward him, and even after he found out, he tried so hard to please his father—to follow in his footsteps, to be the kind of son his father could be proud of. I never once heard Josh talk back; he always did as he was told, blindly following wherever Gareth led.
Loving me was the only thing Josh ever did for himself.
Under my shirt, Josh’s hand was a hot brand on my skin, but it might as well have been my heart. I was his, wholly and completely. There was no way I was going to let anything—or anyone—tear us apart again. I vowed that whatever challenges arose from us being together, we would face them just like that,together.Never again apart.
