Page 25 of Dove
I just wasn’t used to my desire making itself known so… blatantly. I feared it was obvious outwardly, too. Panicking, I snapped, “Make sure you reinforce it good. I don’t want any of my girls missing when I wake up in the morning.” With that, I turned and stalked off.
Before I could make it fully out of the barn, I turned to add, “And don’t forget my garlic knots!”
That may have come across a tad more petulant than I wanted, but with every step, I could breathe a little easier, my chest loosening and my tense muscles relaxing at the distance that grew between us.
“You got it, boss,” came Josh’s playfully snarky reply.
The fluttering in my stomach was damn near predictable at this point.
There were many things I enjoyed, but a nice, long shower after a hard day of work was thebest.
Slipping into soft pajamas was a close second.
I’d heard Josh come in just as I’d shut the shower off, so once I’d dressed and towel dried my hair, I went in search of him.
“I made sure to add your garlic knots, don’t worry,” Josh called the moment I descended the staircase, his voice carrying from the mudroom.
I shuffled through the kitchen, my bare feet padding against the hardwood floor.
“Good,” I told him as I opened the fridge and grabbed two waters. “I would have hated to make you run all the way out there to get them if you forgot.”
His quiet laughter and the thunk of his boots hitting the floor were all that answered me.
“Here,” I stood in the doorway, watching as he slipped his laces into his boots and lined them up neat and proper along the wall. When he righted himself, I tossed one of the waters to him. He grinned his thanks before cracking it open and guzzling most of it down.
He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and it took my all not to track the movement. “Thanks, I needed that. It was a scorcher today.”
It had been, and it’d been just a touch muggy in the way that meant we’d likely be getting another storm soon. Which wasn’t good if we planned to do anything with the field in the next few weeks.
“There might be storms soon,” I warned. “Could be a problem with the hay harvest being so close.”
I cracked open my own bottle and took a sip, trying not to let my eyes wander up to read the look on his face.
I had no idea if he would be staying that long, or if he even wanted to help. Without my stepdad, it would be hell of a job for one person. Doable, but rough, and I didn’t want to ask him to stay. Iwouldn’t. There were plenty of farmers around to ask for help if he didn’t plan on being here that long, I reasoned. I’d just ask them.
I ignored the clench of my heart at the thought of him not being here to help. Not being aroundat all.
Dammit, this was exactly what I was trying to avoid.
“We’ll worry about that when the time comes,” was all Josh said, making his way toward me. I pressed myself back along the doorframe, letting him through. His fingers tugged on a strand of my damp hair as he passed. “Let’s worry about whether this pizza will come before we starve, instead.”
I slapped his hand away, but it was less agitated and more… playful.
“Some of us like to be prepared,” I replied, but his answer made my heavy heart grow lighter. He saidwe. Which meant I wasn’t alone, at least until the end of the summer.
“I’m gonna go up and take a shower. I’m sure I got plenty of time before they get here. You know how they are, they always say thirty minutes, but we both know that means more like an hour, depending on which brothers are in the kitchen.”
I nodded absently, watching his retreating back as he climbed the stairs.
Wanting nothing more than to join him.
I sat myself down on the couch and let myself scroll through my socials for the first time since the day Mom and Gareth had passed. My Facebook was flooded with condolences and well wishes, thoughtful prayers, and offers of food. As if homemade lasagna could somehow fix the ache of losing my mother. I checked the few text messages I’d received from friends, one specifically from Reverie, who lived clear across the country in California.
I missed her the most at times like these.
She was the only other person who knew my deepest darkest secret.
I’m so sorry, Dove.If you need anything at all, let me know. I’m here for you.
