Page 50 of Dove
Fuck. What was building between us was likely to wreck us.
But I was helpless to stop it.
I didn’t want to.
15
DOVE
Even though I’d showered, dressed, and put distance between us, my heart still fluttered at the memory of Josh invading my space. At the huskiness that had lingered in his voice as he’d implored, “Let me do something for you, Dove.”
A shiver ran down my spine, and I imagined his fingers following it, chasing it down until it reached the swell of my?—
There was so much I wanted him to do tome.
I took a few deep breaths and finished buttoning my jean shorts. How was I supposed to work with Josh today if I couldn’t even function when wewasn’taround?
I was honestly hopeless.
Slipping out of my room, I hesitated at the top of the steps, wondering if I could somehow find an excuse to spend the day doing anything other than what I’d suggested us do in the first place. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I’d been lured into a false sense of security over coffee and pancakes, forgetting all about the risk of being close to him, of how his skin would brush mine as we passed tools to one another, enveloped by that heady scent of his.
This was not going to go well, not after that encounter in the kitchen that had me wanting to step closer to him and screw the consequences. But I’d forced myself upstairs like he’d all but ordered and now…
I’d be okay. I could control myself. I’d done it for years, hadn’t I?
There was something brimming between us, but I wasn’t quite sure what it was.
Was it misplaced responsibility? Did josh feel obligated to take care of me now that my mom was gone? Did he feel compelled to run the farm now that his dad wasn’t here to do it? Or was it something more?
Did hewantto be here? With me? Despite the fact he’d spent three years doing the exact opposite...
I cleared those confusing questions from my mind with a shake of my head. Nothing had made sense since Josh came back. Sometimes, I could swear he wanted nothing more than to swoop down and kiss me?—
But that was absurd. Even if hedid, we couldn’t have that.
I took a single step down the stairs, then froze.
Could we?
It was a question I’d asked myself a long time ago, when my gaze would lock onto him from across the farm and watch him covertly, wondering if he felt anything for me beyond sibling affection. A teenage girl's wishful fantasy, nothing more.
But now…
We were both adults andtechnicallynot related and our parents weren’t?—
“I hope you’re not contemplating throwing yourself down the stairs to avoid spending time with me,” Josh’s amused voice carried up to me, and I took a few steps down to see him lingering in the kitchen, dressed and ready. His hair didn’t look wet, so he must not have opted to shower. Good, maybe Iwouldn’t be bombarded by the scent of that damn body wash he always used.
But when I passed by him to grab my boots from the mudroom, his smell was still as potent and alluring as always.
Dammit.
“I don’t think you should be yanking at it like that.”
Josh grunted in response, where he was half bent over the tractor reaching for a part we’d been trying to wiggle free for the last half hour. Unfortunately, maintenance on the farm, including the tractors, had gone by the wayside since Gareth had been focused on my mom, and I wasn’t confident enough to work on them by myself.
“Be careful.” I lifted up onto my tip toes to peer over his hunched shoulders but all I could see was the tense line of his back through his sweaty shirt. I licked my lips, ignoring the tingle of heat the sight caused in me, and heaved myself up beside him, balancing on the thin lip protruding out on the side of the tractor. “Maybe I?—”
There was a metallic screech followed by a loud snap followed by an even more impressive curse.
