Page 54 of Dove
It didn’t mean she wanted the same things as me.
Even so, there was nothing she could ask for that was too much. If Dove wanted the world, it was hers. I’d do anything in my power to give it to her.
So, it was simple.
If Dove wantedme, she could have me. I was hers. I’d gladly give her any piece of me she craved. I just had to find out what exactly it was she wanted, because every bit of me belonged to that girl.
Even the parts she didn’t want.
16
DOVE
The next few days passed by in a burst of thick, heavy humidity thanks to the impending weather, accompanied by the equally suffocating presence of Josh following me around like my own personal shadow.
It was as if something had shifted between us since the night I’d woken up using him as a glorified pillow. Josh was a little less distant—and a lot more determined.
He no longer stood by while I started the day by ignoring him, quietly slipping out the door to begin my routine alone. No, now he wanted to talk. Talk about the chores that had fallen by the wayside since my mom got sick and his dad had been glued to her side. Talk about how the animals were doing, or our plan of attack for the harvest.
Just… talk.
Although he never brought up his leaving, skirting around talking about it altogether. A part of me bristled at that, hurt by his years-long absence and simple return as if no time had passed, but I could tell he was trying to make amends in his own way.
Wasn’t that what I’d wished for every day since he’d left—for him to simply be back, just like he was now?
Every time a laugh fell from his lips, or a smile spread across his face, my anger dissipated little by little, and I found I didn’t want to scowl and evade him. Iwantedto hear that deep laugh, to watch his smile curl playfully, to let him tease me like he once had before the years stretched long and harrowed between us. The past few days were so much likebeforethat I nearly forgot we weren’t those carefree teenagers anymore—that something much heavier surrounded us now.
I shrieked, forced abruptly from my meandering thoughts as something buzzed by my ear and hit the side of my head. My body convulsed in response, attempting to dislodge whatever had flown into my hair, subsequently dropping the board I’d been holding in place for Josh as he patched the broken part of the fence that lined one side of the driveway and the pasture beyond.
“What!?” Josh looked up at me in alarm from where he was kneeling, hammer poised in his hand like a weapon as if he was about to ward off an attacker with it.
“A bug,” I sputtered, still failing, “flew into myhair!”
Josh gave a choked off chortle before rising, or at least I think he did. I could hardly see him through the flurry of my hair as I shook it wildly.
“Stop that,” he managed through his laughter. “You’re going to break your neck.”
I tossed my head back to glare at him, pushing dark strands out of my face and running my hands through them frantically, chills rolling down my spine at the thought of finding a bug in it.
There was a lot I’d learned to deal with since living on a farm, and while I wasn’t afraid of bugsper se, that didn’t mean I wanted themonme.
“Let me check,” he murmured in a low, pacifying voice. “Nothing but a stink bug, I’ll bet.”
“Oh, sure.” I shuddered.“Nothing but.”
He chuckled, stepping closer as I stood still to let him inspect my hair. It was actually down today, a marvel indeed, something I cursed myself for immediately the moment I’d stepped outside into the humid dawn. I’d held my hair tie in my hand this morning, ready to pull it up and out of my face for the day, but then the silly urge to see Josh’s reaction to it being down kept me from tying it back, leaving it loose and flowing past my shoulders instead.
He circled me, combing his hand through the back as I attempted to reign in another shiver, this one conjured by the slide of his fingers against my scalp as it raked down to the ends of my hair. He hadn’t mentioned anything about me leaving it down today, but I’d caught him staring at me all morning out the corner of my eye when he thought I wasn’t looking. I wondered if he liked seeing it down, but a bigger part of me wondered if he enjoyed the feel of it running through his fingers just as much as I did.
He rounded back in front of me, his eyes busy scanning for bugs, which had my skin crawling at the thought.
Nope, not thinking about it.
Drawing my eyes up to his serious face, I inspectedhiminstead. The honey flecks in his focused brown eyes glinted like embers in the bright sunshine, and his dark hair was curling slightly from the mugginess of the day, not quite touching his ears on the sides but long enough on the top that he had a habit of reaching up to brush it off his forehead while we were busy working. But what captured my attention the most was the stubble darkening his jaw.That’s new.He’d been clean-shaven when he arrived, and kept it that way for the funeral, but now it seemed he wasn’t bothered by a few days’ worth of growth.
I found I wasn’t either.
I’d been drawn to it all day. Josh focused on hammering nails and not his thumb while I stood there to pass and hold, a job that didn’t require much concentration and gave me plenty of time for my thoughts, and eyes, to wander.
