Page 2 of Take My Heart
‘What’s going on?’ Jill whispers as she comes up beside me.
‘Nothing,’ Cam says, his eyes remaining on mine. ‘Stay out of this.’
Jill grasps my arm. ‘What’s wrong? Are you sick? You don’t look good.’
‘I’m not sick.’ I glance away from Cam and look at my sister. ‘I just can’t do this.’
‘Can’t dowhat? Get married?’ she asks, looking at me like I’m crazy.
I knew she wouldn’t understand. No one in my family would, which is why I haven’t talked to them about how I’ve been feeling. They think Cam is perfect and will make the perfect husband. If I told them I didn’t love him, they’d tell me I’ll learn to love him. But it shouldn’t be that way. I shouldn’t have to learn to love my husband. I should love him now. I should want to marry him.
Harry, Cam’s brother and best man, walks up to the minister. ‘What’s going on?’
‘Kate’s not feeling well,’ Cam says, glaring at me like he wants me to just shut up and continue the ceremony. He thinks I’m acting like a child. Sometimes I think he sees me that way, like I’m a child. He hates when I try to be playful or fun. Cam’s very serious and expects me to be too, but sometimes I just want to let loose.
‘Are we all just going to stand here or what?’ Harry asks.
‘I have to go.’ I race past Cam to the side of the church.
‘Kate!’ Cam shouts as he runs after me, down the narrow hallway that leads to the rooms where we waited before the ceremony.
‘Cam, I’m sorry,’ I say, turning back to him. ‘I know you’re angry, but I can’t do something that doesn’t feel right.’
‘What the hell are you talking about? You got everything you wanted! The ring, the dress, the big wedding.’ He points to where we just came from. ‘We are going back there right now and getting married. We’ll just tell people you felt faint and needed a minute.’
I shake my head. ‘You’re not listening to me.’ I step up to him. ‘I don’t want to do this. I thought I did because that’s what everyone told me. They convinced me it was the right thing to do. But it’s not.’ I gaze into his eyes. ‘You don’t really love me, Cam. You love the idea of me, of how I’ll look next to you when you’re a senator someday. You love that I’ll take good care of your children, keep a nice house, and make you look good. You didn’t fall in love with me. You fell in love with what I can do for you.’
‘You’re wrong.’ He grips my arm. ‘I asked you to marry me because I love you.’
‘Cam.’ I give him a weak smile. ‘You don’t even know me. Not the real me. If you did, you wouldn’t want this. You wouldn’t want to marry me.’
‘Kate!’ My dad appears, racing down the hall with my mom and sister right behind him. ‘Jill said you’re sick.’
‘I’m not sick,’ I say, glancing at my sister, annoyed she didn’t tell him the truth. It’s because she doesn’t believe it. It doesn’t make sense to her. She married a man she didn’t love and is fine with it, or pretends to be. He’s rich and gives her the life she wants, which to her is enough.
‘She says she doesn’t want to get married,’ Cam says,folding his arms over his chest and looking at me like I’m a spoiled child.
‘Honey, it’s just nerves,’ my mom says, getting in front of me, her eyes darting around my face like she’s checking that my makeup hasn’t smeared. She’s more worried about how I look than how I feel. I’m used to that, but it still hurts.
‘What are we going to do?’ Jill asks. ‘Everyone’s waiting.’
‘Just take some deep breaths,’ my dad says to me, demonstrating by taking a deep inhale and motioning me to follow along.
‘That’s not going to help,’ I say. ‘This isn’t cold feet. It’s me not wanting to get married.’
‘Can you give us a minute?’ Cam says to my parents.
‘Of course.’ My mom steps back next to my father and Jill.
Cam takes my arm and leads me to the room where I waited with my bridesmaids before the ceremony.
‘Cam, I’m not changing my mind,’ I say as he shuts the door.
‘You’re acting like a child,’ he says in a scolding tone. He puts his hands on my shoulders and leans down to me, his eyes locked on mine. ‘You are going to get yourself together and go back out there like an adult and do what you committed to do.’
‘I’m allowed to change my mind,’ I say.
‘Not on our wedding day! If you wanted to back out, you had two years to do it. It’s too fucking late now!’
