Page 76 of Choosing a Forever
She fingers herself in front of him, then he takes over and makes her squirt. I had to look up what that means and a diagram of the vagina to see if I can figure out what spots they’re talking about because they don’t use the anatomically correct words.
It’s a rabbit hole from there.
I abandon my book research for articles and videos of how to best pleasure a woman, and my penis is rock solid the entire time, imagining doing all of these things to Mack.
I’ve never once wondered what it would be like to put my mouth on a woman’s vagina—er, pussy?—but now it’s all I can think about. I want to know what she tastes like. I’m desperate to know if I can bring her the same amount of pleasure the men in her books bring their partners.
I know some people may find it hard to believe, but I’ve never once looked at porn. I’ve never had the desire. According to the internet, porn isn’t always the most accurate depiction of sex, but since my sex education was pretty much “don’t have sex until you’re married, then you can have it whenever you want,” I don’t know what I’m doing.
That’s how I find myself on a porn website, watching video after video of people getting…fucked.
Some of it looks so fake it’s a turn off. Others, the women look so young and the men so old I’m wondering if it’s even legal. There’s one video, though, that looks homemade. A man is sitting behind a woman with asimilar body type to Mack, his fingers buried deep inside her; I can’t look away.
The woman writhes against his hand like she’s trying to get away from the pleasure but wants more of it at the same time.
Her vagina is hairless, so I can see the arousal glistening on her skin as her body tenses, and she comes. Then it switches angles, and the man has her on top of him.
My eyes close, and suddenly it’s not the strangers in the video, but Mack on top of me.
As much as I triednotto look when I accidentally barged in on her naked, I still caught a glimpse of the tops of her creamy breasts and the way they sat, heavy and full.
I didn’t see her nipples, but now my mind is full of questions about them. What color are they? Are they the shade of her lips when she doesn’t have any lipstick on? Or are they darker? More pink or brown?
The thought of having her weight on top of me, feeling the warm wetness of her enveloping me makes my erection twitch.
I groan, grabbing myself through my sweats. There’s a small patch of wetness where I’ve leaked through my underwear. I’m ten seconds away from coming, all it would take is—
“Tal? Are you okay?”
I let out an embarrassing yelp, accidentally tossing my phone on the floor trying to cover my lap with a throw pillow.
Shit.I was so lost in my fantasy, I didn’t even hear her come home.
“Yeah.” My voice comes out lower than expected, so I clear my throat before I continue, “Just in a bit of pain.”
Mack checks the time on her phone. “Have you taken your afternoon pain meds? It doesn’t look like you’ve… moved…” Her eyes narrow on the stack of books next to me, and her head tilts. “Wh-why do you have all of those next to you?”
ABORT. ABORT. DANGER, DANGER.
“Just doing some light reading,” I answer.
She walks around the couch and picks up the books, running her fingers across the tabs. “Right, yeah. Okay. Um. Cool. Reading is… fun. Have you eaten yet? I can go make you a sandwich so you can take your meds.”
“I can make my ow—”
“No, no. I’ve got it. You just relax and—” she swallows harshly, “finish yourreading.”
She sets the books back down next to me, avoiding looking at me. Then she picks up my phone, her eyes widening when she sees what’s on the screen.
Oh, no. No. No. This can’t be happening.
“Here’s your phone.” Her voice is tight as she practically throws it at me and rushes up the stairs.
Sure enough, the scene continued, and now the man has the woman’s hair in his grip as he enters her from below. Her pale body is flushed in pleasure, but my brain isn’t registering the couple’s faces.
In my head, all I see is me and Mack in that position. Would she like it? The thought of having her body weight on me makes a new wave of lust roll through me.
Is she upset I’m watching this? I can’t imagine why she would be, unless she’s against porn and feels it’s like cheating as some people do?
