Page 34 of My Favorite Secret
But Tyler was right during our argument when he said I’ve been moping around after Felix. I’ve had an obsession with both brothers my entire life. The only way I can ever give all my attention to Tyler is if I move beyond this infatuation for Felix. The only way I know how to do that is by indulging in Felix until he’s out of my system.
It won’t take long. We’re too different and he treats me terribly.
Felix and I lock eyes from opposite sides of the car, both of us breathing hard from the intensity of our kisses.
Guilt over Tyler lingers in my mind. But he won’t answer any of my calls. He says he’s done waiting for me. While I hope that’s not true, in this moment, he doesn’t want me. I’m not his. I’ve lost him and I don’t know if or when I’ll ever get him back.
Making my mind up, I decide to take what I want, and push the guilt aside.
I lean forward, enjoying the way Felix visibly gulps and never takes his eyes off me as I climb across the front console and straddle his lap. His hands land on my legs, sliding up beneath my dress and cupping my ass. He pullsme closer, and I gasp when feeling his erection against my clit.
I don’t know where I’m getting this confidence from. Every touch of his feels like a sin. Yet it feelssogood.
“I know we shouldn’t do this but… I don’t want to stop. I’ve…” I quiver, feeling vulnerable for what I’m about to say, but all my walls are crumbling down. If I’m only going to be with Felix like this once, I’m not holding back. “I’ve missed you.”
He closes his eyes in pain and groans. “Don’tsay that. You’re making it impossible for me to do the right thing here.”
“When do you ever care about the right thing?”
“I care about my brother.”
“You didn’t seem to care about him when you were pressed between my legs outside the pool house. I wonder…” I lean closer, not recognizing the boldness within me as I rock against his dick, whispering in his ear, “How far can I take this beforeyoupushmeaway?”
Felix’s eyes snap open, his gaze harsh. “You are the devil in sheep’s clothing.”
I take his left hand and turn it palm up, skimming my finger along his scar, surprised when he doesn’t pull away. A memory returns to me of how, at such a young age, I enjoyed drawing his blood with a shard of glass because it meant we’d have a matching mark forever.
I place that hand on my thigh, shivering with nerves and arousal as I slide it up between my legs. “Are you going to pull your hand away? What happens in this car can remain our little secret.”
With both hands, Felix grabs my hips and presses me onto his erection. I cry out at the jolt of pleasure that spreads through me. I’m fucked up for enjoying this whenFelix has been harassing me. Maybe I’m romanticizing this moment, projecting the Felix from my past, the one I love, onto the Felix beneath me. They’re not the same person. He doesn’t care for me anymore. But I push away those thoughts, letting myself get lost in this moment with him, because he’s holding me so tight, like I belong to him and he’s needed this for as long as I have.
Maybe thereisstill part of my Felix within him.
I cling to his body, kissing him deeply while grinding against his cock. How is this real? I have no clue if I’m even doing it right.
“Fuck, Harper.” He says my name yet again, this time with affection, and I think it might be my favorite thing in the world, hearing Felix call me by my name.
I’m unraveling for this man. I can’t be having these feelings. He’s not a good person. Theworstperson.
I kiss him again, pushing aside thoughts of reason. He strokes a line up my panties, and I gasp at the heat that rushes through me. I’ve worked hard over the years to not be tempted by sex. To not even fool around. Why is there suddenly no fight in me when Felix touches me? Somehow, this man has made all my morals fly out the window.
“Touch me, please,” I beg.
He pulls my panties aside and strokes his thumb across my clit. A whimper of pleasure escapes me, and then I’m crying out as Felix’s fingers plunge inside, stretching me open for the first time ever. Not once have I touched myself like this. I’m clinging to him, bucking my hips against his hand in desperation as the most intense feelings run through me.
“I hate you,” I whisper as a reminder to myself.
“You sure about that? Tell me your deepest secret. Your deepest fantasy. Otherwise, I’ll stop touching you.”
I keep riding him, chasing the high he’s giving me, no longer caring if I’m inexperienced and doing this wrong. Felix pulls the top of my dress down and sucks my nipple deep into his mouth, making me gasp at the added pleasure. I didn’t know anyone could make me feel this good and I never want him to stop.
“I’m glad I made that girl bleed from the dagger I threw. I wish I’d done worse to her. I wish I’d made you bleed too. You’re mine, Felix. You belong to me.”
Shit. I can’t believe I admitted how unstable I am. More than that, I can’t believe I revealed how much Felix still means to me.
I’m left feeling embarrassed for a second at most before Felix’s lips crush against mine, praising me for everything I’ve just said. “You perfect, psycho freak. I want to fuck you so badly, Harper. Would you like that? You’d slide onto my cock so easily right now.”
I nod desperately, needing to give all of myself to him. I’ve been so set on waiting for marriage. But this feels too good to stop. How did I ever believe I could wait for marriage?
