Page 55 of My Favorite Secret
“It’s a feeling. An instinct. Maybe because I’ve lost my mom and I’m afraid to lose more people. Maybe because I’ve lost you before. I’m afraid you’ll get bored of me one day and leave. Or that you’ll get in trouble with the law and be taken from me. Were you really at school today? Be honest with me.”
I let out a heavy breath, unable to lie to her. “No. I wasn’t at school. Theo and I were organizing a deal. The two of us sell eclipse.”
There’s no judgment in Harper’s eyes, just sadness. “Deep down, I assumed as much. I didn’t want to face the truth. I’m not judging your choices anymore. This is about needing stability in my life. I need people I can depend on.If we continue as we are, if we have sex, I know I’ll fall irreversibly in love with you. I know I’ll be broken beyond repair when I lose you. Because I will lose you, Felix. You won’t be invincible forever. Something will take you from me, whether it be the law or some drug lord. Maybe it seems like I’m being too dramatic, but I can’t do this with you, Felix. I think…” She gulps and takes a steadying breath. “Whatever this is between us needs to end right now.”
I look into Harper’s eyes, seeing how serious she is about this decision, and it hurts.
My largest eclipse deal is going down in a week’s time. I met up with Theo this afternoon to discuss the details. The buyer is some tech entrepreneur, has an upcoming party and wants twenty thousand dollars worth of eclipse for the event.
Word of the new drug is spreading. It’s becoming more in demand and I can foresee the future it will bring me. The speakeasy empire I’ve always wanted with Tyler. The reality is on the brink of my fingertips. It’s so close, I can feel it. The wealth could make my trust fund irrelevant.
And yet I’m filled with guilt, knowing if it becomes a reality, Clara will have died in vain. I’ve felt guilty over this eclipse deal all afternoon.
Now, hearing Harper talk like this, telling me we’re over…
Fuck. I can’t let it happen. The speakeasy, eclipse, they’ve been recent goals of mine. But Harper has been the one thing I’ve wanted my entire life.
Tears form in Harper’s eyes. “I should go.”
She’s halfway to her feet before I grab her hips and pull her back down to me, claiming her lips with mine. “I’m not letting you go anywhere, Harper. I’ll quit.”
She peers up at me with shock. “What?”
I kiss her again, harder and faster, stopping only to meet her gaze so she can see how serious I am about these next words. “I’ll give up everything that could get me in trouble with the law so you don’t ever have to be afraid of losing me. I promise you: I’m never leaving you and nothing is taking me away from you. You own me, Harper Winslow. Call me your boyfriend. I’ve never been anyone’s boyfriend but I want the title if it means I’m yours.”
She smiles in disbelief. “You’re my boyfriend? What on earth am I getting myself into? You are going to break my heart one day, Felix Blackwood.”
There’s a lightheartedness to her voice, but I can see in her eyes that some part of her believes those words. I shake my head. “Impossible. I won’t ever hurt you. Tell me you trust me.”
“I… I want to.”
“I’ll work for your trust. I’ll prove it to you. Everything is going to work out.”
It will work out for the three of us. I’m still trying to teach Harper to shed her embarrassment and take what she wants. One thing is for sure—my Little Sinnerisgoing to have two boyfriends. She’s going to be adored and treated like royalty.
Between my brother and I, Harper is going to get fucked senseless.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
FELIX
“Do you think Harper means it, that she won’t dance again?” Tyler asks me, keeping his voice down as we lean against a post on the rooftop garden. We’re watching Harper and her friend Cindy from afar, the two of them talking beneath a sunshade.
It’s been four days since the funeral and Harper won’t let either of us out of her sight. I haven’t had a chance to be alone with her since that afternoon in the library. It’s always the three of us, which I have no problem with. We’re even falling asleep in the same bed. Whatever she needs, she gets during this difficult time.
“She’ll dance again, when her heart is healed,” I say, listening in to Harper and Cindy’s conversation.
Cindy takes Harper’s hands in hers. “Are you sure you don’t mind me dancing your part inSwan Lake?”
“Of course not,” Harper says. “I told the academy I won’t be in the production. I’m glad they gave the lead to you. You’re a good dancer and deserve it.”
I’ve never liked Cindy. She’s always been jealous of Harper. From the way she smiles now, having secured thelead, I’m convinced she’s pleased to have benefited from Harper’s misfortune.
“I don’t trust this girl at all,” I mutter to Tyler.
“She’s Harper’s best friend at dance.”
“Doesn’t mean she has Harper’s best interest at heart.”
