Page 34 of Always? Forever.
Samaira
He put his hands on my shoulders. I was confused about what had suddenly gotten into him. I looked at him as he pulled me forward causing me to crash into him which made my hands automatically rest on his chest.
My brain started working overtime. And as if he heard all my thoughts, as if he heard me overthinking, he started dragging his hands down my arms and back up in a gesture meant to comfort me.
In that particular moment, it did anything but that. It just made me want to lean on him more. For everything. It hit me with a realisation that I had started relying on him for most of the things which was not a good thing as this was temporary.
Kartik dragged his hands lazily from my arms to my waist with a look on his face that would have made any woman into a soft putty in his hands. He looked at me with such adoration in his eyes that if I didn’t know any better I would think it was love. But it couldn’t be. No one could love me, well, except for my family. I was not the girl that guys fell for. I was not the one they chose to date.
As I was repeatedly told, that I wasn’t exactly girlfriend material but wifey material and somehow that was a compliment? I didn’t understand it as a teenager, not knowing why didn’t any guy who claimed he liked me ask me to be his girlfriend.
It was then when I finally got guy friends that I understood that guys just want casual things till they are in their 30s and then they search for a partner. I had first-hand experience with this. Hriday had told me this, that I was not exactly girlfriend material.
Why would Kartik even want to date me then? Whoa, where did that thought come from? Why did I want Kartik to date me? Why? The answer was right there. Kartik was exactly the kind of guy I would want. He was sweet, he was wonderful to his parents and his grandmother. He was nice to me, nice would be an understatement as he was more than nice. He remembered my choice of food, he remembered what I liked, and what I disliked, and he carried me upstairs because I was exhausted. It was the bare minimum. But the fact that this bare minimum was in a fake relationship made my heart flutter. It should not be doing that. Kartik took a step back instantly making me feel the loss of his touch. I wondered why I liked that he was near me so much. I missed it instantly.
Kartik
I saw her eyes, she was overthinking everything. She wasn’t ready to hear that along the way I was falling in love with her. She would run away instantly if I told her right now. I would have to show it to her first, I had to prove to her that I would be there every step of the way, supporting her, encouraging her, and just simply existing for her.
She needed my words to match my actions and my actions to match my words because sometimes words aren't enough and actions don’t explain much. I needed to be a bit careful about the fact that I made them match because from what I had gathered about the woman I was in love with, her actions speak louder than words. If at all anything, the books she read were the biggest giveaways of it all. I tried reading her favorite book, and all I gathered was if I fucked up I would need to do a grand gesture and show her how she meant to me.
Knowing that I was a human at the end of the day I would screw up somehow which I would try my best not to, but if I did, I would have to grovel a lot. It was a legit thing in these books, the hero needed to grovel a lot, and if he didn’t, the readers were salty about the heroine taking him back. I did not want to make people mad.
I took a step back from her, instantly I saw her get disappointed. Was that a sign she liked me? Was that a sign she liked having me close? I guess we will find that out soon. I would give anything to prove to her that we were meant to be.
I couldn’t stop myself from gently tucking away a piece of her bangs that had found its way out of her ponytail behind her ear. She sighed at the contact and leaned into my palm as it rested on her cheek. I rubbed my thumb on her cheek as I leaned in and placed a kiss on her forehead, resting my forehead on hers for a good second, closing my eyes and savoring the moment.
Before I could step back, she held my wrist.
“Stay with me?” she whispered, almost scared that I’d deny her of that ever.
“Always” I answered confidently
“Always?” She asked
“Forever.” I replied.
We went to my room, I changed and pulled out one of my shirts as she freshened up in the bathroom. I was nervous. There was the woman I loved in my room. I was smiling like a fool when she stepped out. I silently passed her the shirt trying my best to hide the smile. She took the shirt and walked back to the bathroom to change. I kept my phone on my bedside table. It was almost dead. I would charge it later. Samaira walked out and I think I stopped breathing. She looked adorable in my shirt. And let me just say looking at the girl that you are falling in love with, is wearing one of your shirts is the best feeling ever. I think I might have said it out loud because her eyes became twice their size.
“What did you say?” She asked slowly, walking towards me.
“What did you hear?” I retorted.
She shook her head as she stood beside me in front of the bead hesitating and playing with her fingers. She was nervous. Well, at least I wasn’t alone. I put my hand, freeing her hands from each other. I tangled my fingers through one of her hands.
Samaira
I was nervous. I guess we would be sleeping in the same bed? I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know what I was thinking when I told him to stay. I had fallen asleep in his car and he brought us to his place which I didn’t mine, his was better anyway.
The amount of butterflies I got when he tangled his hand through mine was unimaginable. I wanted to hold his hand forever. He kept looking into my eyes as he lifted our intertwined hands up to his mouth and kissed my hand. When I say I stopped breathing, I think I died and came back because of what he was doing to me. Never have I ever felt this way with any of the guys I have had a crush on. This was a whole new chapter. He kept holding my hand, rubbing his thumb at the back of my hand giving me all sorts of jitters.
"You sleep here, and I'll sleep in the guest bedroom," he suggested, scratching his hand behind his neck. It was clear he was nervous, which surprised me. After all, this was his home.
I replied, "Oh, I can sleep in the guest room, that's not an issue," though secretly, I felt a tinge of disappointment.
"Or..." he began, and I looked at him, urging him to continue. He took a breath before suggesting, "Or we could both just sleep here?"
I tried not to let my happiness show too much, but the idea of cuddling with him was strangely appealing. I didn't know why, and I decided not to overthink it tonight.
