Page 14 of Warmongers and Wands
“It wasn’t really a scream. More of a shout. A quiet shout. Okay, yes, I screamed.”
“What happened?”
God, I had to pee so bad. So very bad. I was already pretty much naked on the floor, lying in just a little bit of sweat. How much more embarrassing could it all get?
“I had to pee and tried to make it outside, but I fell. And this is sweat, you know. Sweat. Because hobbling around the room with a broken leg worked up quite a sweat.”
“I would have helped you. Why didn’t you wait?”
“Well, help me now,” I snapped. “Less talk and more helping before there’s more sweat on your floor.”
That got him moving. Once more I was gently scooped up in a demon’s arms, concentrating very hard on bladder control as Hadur carried me outside and a few feet away from the house. He eased me down, supporting me under my arms as I did an awkward squat.
Annnnd nothing.
My bladder screamed for release, but I just couldn’t do it.
“You said you had to urinate?”
“Yes, I said that.”
“Then why—”
“Stage fright,” I snapped. “Can you just lean me against a tree and give me a branch to hold for balance, then go around to the other side of the cabin?”
He huffed out a breath, muttered something about “witches,” then picked me up again, propping me against a tree and handing me two branches. I waited until he vanished inside the cabin, then carefully widened my stance, scooting my back painfully down the bark of the tree.
Blessed relief. There were some logistical concerns involving the flow of liquid on the ground and whether the widening puddle might reach my feet or not. Oh, and the lack of toilet paper. I did the hip shake, which was pretty ineffectual given that I had a broken leg and was squatting against a tree trunk, balancing myself with two rather thin branches.
Done, I wiggled myself back into a standing position, grimacing to think of how much bark was probably embedded in my back. Crap. I hoped this tree didn’t have poison oak on it or something.
“I’m done!” I called out.
It took Hadur a few minutes to exit the cabin. It gave me time to contemplate the fact that I was naked except for my bra, with my panties still stuck like some lewd accessory on my leg splint. Naked. Sweaty—it was sweat, I swear it was sweat. I was probably going to have to go through this all over again in another few hours. Oh, no. What if I had to number two? How the hell was that going to work? I mean, I knew how it was going to work, just not how it was going to work and leave me with any dignity whatsoever.
I sent up a quick prayer for constipation.
It figured. The hottest guy I’d ever seen, and me mostly naked, and I was gonna blow it because of a broken leg and biological necessities. I needed to get out of here. I needed my sisters to come rescue me and take me home where I could get a proper cast and crutches and a flush toilet. And then I could come back after I was all healed wearing something sexy and maybe bringing food that wasn’t stolen out of a Walmart and make a better impression on this hot demon guy.
Hadur appeared, walked over and scooped me up, and carried me inside where he sat me down on a chair and promptly cut the underwear off my leg.
“I cleaned the sweat off the floor.” There was a whole lot of humor in his voice and I wasn’t sure if I liked that or not. I mean, I guess it was good that he found the whole thing funny and wasn’t upset that I’d sweated a little on his floor, but the whole event was one more negative check mark in the is-Bronwyn-ever-going-to-get-laid tally.
“Thank you,” I replied. “Do you have anything I could possibly wear? Like a super long t-shirt? I promise I’ll be careful not to get any sweat on it when I need to sweat in the future.”
“I like you naked.”
Well, that was a first. “So, you like six-foot-tall women with linebacker figures, sweat in places I don’t want to mention, bruises and scrapes, a broken leg, and probably poison ivy down their backs?”
He ran a hand up my bicep. “You’re strong in the right places…” The hand skimmed across the curve of my small breasts then down to my not-so-flat belly. “And soft in the right places. As for the rest, that just gives me an excuse to bathe you.”
Bathe? I turned to the side and noticed what looked like a shallow black rubber feed trough full of steaming water.
“How’d you get the water hot?” I asked, calculating the time it would take to boil all that over a fire. “Did Diebin steal you a hot water heater? And a propane tank? Hey!” I swatted at his hands as he went to remove my bra. I know, it was a bit ridiculous to be modest about showing my boobs when my happy-spot was right there on display.
“Humans no longer bathe naked? I assumed from some of the magazines Diebin brought me that modern humans, especially women, spent a great deal of their time naked.”
Seems Diebin had occasionally brought him something racier than Tiger Beat. “We do bathe naked, It’s just….” This was stupid. The guy had seen everything else. It wasn’t like removing a few inches of silk and lace was going to make much of a difference. “Okay. Just don’t cut the bra off. I like this one. There’s hooks in the back.”
