Page 25 of Grumpy Pucking Orc
Trying and failing.
Professional wasn’t “accidentally” rubbing my boobs against his arm while I examined his teeth. Professional wasn’t eyeing his near-constant erection.
Professional definitely wasn’t eagerly accepting his offer to cook me dinner tomorrow at his place. I was already imagining this dinner would lead to me staying over and getting sweaty in the sheets with a muscled orc.
The guy wasn’t boring, I’d give him that. Actually, he was far from boring. His tales of his homeland and clan had been fascinating, and he’d truly seemed interested when I’d gone on and on about dental matters.
He’d told me how orc tusks continuously grew and needed to be trimmed and sharpened annually. He’d told me that they used something similar to pine needles to floss with and an herbal paste for daily dental care. I’d been fascinated to learn that tusk length was a matter of personal preference, and that he’d always worn his between two and three inches long. I was fascinated by the fact that if they were left untrimmed, the tusks would curl around, possibly growing into the orc’s cheek. Some orcs’ tusks curled more than others, requiring those with “curly” tusks to maintain shorter lengths, while those whose tusks grew straight might sport seven- or eight-inch tusks rising up past their cheekbones.
Ozar told me he wasn’t a fan of the long, curled tusk styles, saying they looked barbaric and that outside of some rebellious teen years, he’d sported a shorter style. I’dlistened with rapt attention and was thrilled when he’d agreed to let me smooth the surface of his tusks and polish them to a bright white.
It wasn’t just his teeth. Ireallyliked this orc. I liked the way his golden-brown eyes focused intently on me, the way his muscles strained against his T-shirt and the smooth, warm green of his skin. I liked his obvious admiration of me, his polite and engaging conversation. He was clearly physically attracted to me if the bulge in his pants was any indication, but instead of delivering a bunch of lame propositions, he’d asked me about my work, my hobbies, and my favorite foods, as well as a very strange question about any enemies that I might have.
And then he’d asked me to dinner—even better, he’d offered to cook for me.
Was it wise for me to go over to his house for dinner? I didn’t really know him, and he was an orc, physically capable of overpowering me with both hands tied behind his back. I’d give his address to my friends, set up a time to check in with them and let them know all was well. It couldn’t bethatdangerous to go to his home for dinner. He was on the Baltimore Tusks hockey team. It wasn’t like he’d jeopardize his job and risk imprisonment just to get some action.
And honestly, the thought of getting it on with Ozar was appealing.Veryappealing. I’d taken far longer than I’d needed to polish his tusks, enjoying the effect my closeness had on him. I wished I’d unbuttoned my shirt a bit before I’d gone into the room, just to flash a little cleavage as I bent over him, so I could see the desire burning in his dark eyes.
“Are you seriously going to take on an orc as a client?” Mike’s words cut through my thoughts, and I sucked in a quick breath as I turned to face the dental hygienist.
“Of course I am. I’ve been thinking for a while now about marketing my practice to nonhumans.” It wasn’t completely a lie. I’d briefly considered reconstructive work for werewolves but had been concerned about how the implants would fare when they shifted. At least that wasn’t a concern with Ozar—at least, I didn’t think so.
“Hegrowledat me,” Mike complained.
“You took nearly forty images of his teeth,” I shot back. “Even with the lead shielding, that’s an unacceptable amount of radiation. I can’t charge his insurance for forty images. It makes us look like we’re sloppy when we can’t manage to get decent pics with the usual ten or fifteen.”
“It’s not easy trying to position the film in an orc mouth,” he argued. “Especially when you’re worried that orc is going to snap your neck with one hand.”
I blew out a frustrated breath. “There was no reason for him to snap your neck, Mike. He was here to replace lost teeth, just like the majority of our human patients.”He was here to see me. He didn’t care about the teeth.I blocked out that thought and got back to arguing with my hygienist. “And humans all have different shaped and sized mouths. An orc’s teeth might be a bit unusual, but placement of the films in his mouth shouldn’t be any more difficult than placing them in those of our other patients like Mr. Cooper or Mrs. VanNestor.”
“Orcs are violent. Mr. Cooper and Mrs. VanNestor aren’t. Besides, that orc scared Makena,” Mike said. “She said he growled at her, too. Do you really think it’s a good idea to have him here? What if he gets angry and trashes the place?”
I rolled my eyes. “He’s an orc, Mike, not the Hulk. And he’s a member of the local hockey team. He’s not going to trash the place.Orhurt anyone.”
“What’s next? Werewolves? Vampires? Demons?” Mike muttered as he walked away.
I couldn’t really blame him. It had taken me a while to get used to all the supernaturals, but now I was ashamed about my initial wariness around them. It had helped that I’d made friends with one of the werewolves at the gym, met a vampire at book club, and chatted with the demon who was my Uber driver one night. I was still alittlewary about demons, but it wasn’t like all humans were perfect. I was more likely to be robbed by a human than a demon, or any other supernatural being.
Up until now, I’d limited my practice to humans, not because I didn’t want supernatural clients here, but because I’d worried I couldn’t provide the specialized care they might need. But now I realized that was just laziness on my part. I’d never found out if they evenneededdifferent medical devices or care; I’d just assumed so.
Which made me no different than Mike.
Later tonight I would do some research—a whole lot of research. And tomorrow I was going to announce to my staff that I had every intention of expanding my practice. But tonight…I was going to see if Willa and Abby were available for dinner, because I needed their input on what to wear and bring for a home-cooked meal at an orc’s house.
I had a dozen other clients scheduled today. But first I was going to run to Starbucks for an iced chai latte, courtesy ofOzar.
“He’smakingyou dinner? Not ordering carry out?” Willa asked before popping a couple of sweet potato fries into her mouth.
“Yes. He’s cooking me dinner. At his house. Tomorrow night,” I repeated.
“What’s he making?” Abby asked. “What do orcs eat?”
“He wouldn’t say. I’m bringing a bottle of red and one of white, so we’ll be covered either way,” I told her.
“He’s probably going to serve a haunch of beef that he roasted over a fire pit,” Willa said. “No sides, no vegetables. I’m guessing that orcs are strict carnivores.”
“He was drinking a Starbucks coffee when he came into the office this morning,” I countered. “And we saw them drinking beer and eating appetizers last night.”
