Page 14 of Grumpy Pucking Orc
No, we did not have a coach, but we did indeed have a coach’s office with a thin layer of dust on the desk.
“If she finds the teeth a suitable gift, and indicates she is interested in me as a potential husband, should I follow up with an offer for dinner? Or perhaps I should give her an enemy’s headon a pike?” I asked.
“I vote for the head-on-a-pike,” Eng said.
“I’m voting for the Starbucks gift card,” Ugwyll chimed in.
“I think you should wait until after you meet her Monday to decide on your next gift,” Bwat said. “You will have learned more about her likes and dislikes, and perhaps she will subtly hint at an appropriate next gift, like she did with the teeth.”
I considered the options, finally deciding to go with Bwat’s suggestion. Although I might just stop by a Starbucks and pick up a gift card, just in case.
Chapter 6
Jordan
We walked into McHenry’s and came to an immediate halt. The orcs were clearly visible at the bar, giant and green, and huddled together as they discussed something. The human clientele had given them a wide berth. The only open tables were the ones immediately around the orcs. Willa headed for the bar seats next to the hockey players, but I grabbed her arm and steered her toward a table instead, not wanting to look like a desperate puck bunny following Ozar here from the parking lot where I’d met him.
“Spoil sport,” Willa muttered, taking her seat.
She and Abby both sat beside me, angling their chairs so we were facing the orcs. The guys hadn’t seen us yet, and I was already dreading the moment one of them turned around and noticed the three of us gawking at them. Or smirking, as Willa was doing.
“That one on the end is typing on a cell phone,” Abby leaned over and whispered. “I had no idea they’d be tech savvy.”
“Maybe they have similar devices at home,” I suggested.For some reason, I’d assumed orcs lived a medieval-era existence with fire pits for cooking and beasts for transportation, but they could have the magical or technological equivalent of cell phones. Maybe they could teleport like the angels or whisk across the skies on magic carpets. Stereotypes were harmful, and if anything, the past few years had taught all of us that we were not the superior race we’d assumed ourselves to be.
“Do you think they’re discussing the game and strategizing for their next one?” Abby asked.
Willa laughed. “I think they’re rating the women in the bar and betting on who can get laid tonight.”
They both turned to me.
“I’ve got no idea what they’re discussing,” I confessed, wishing I’d left and gone home to my cat.
Abby elbowed me. “Go find out. You’ve met one of them. Get your butt up to the bar and do the whole ‘fancy meeting you here’ thing.”
No. Fucking. Way. I slouched lower in my seat, regretting that I’d ever been talked into this.
“How are they not breaking those barstools?” Willa asked. “They’re all like seven feet tall and probably weigh over three hundred pounds with those muscles. And they’re carrying knives. I’m not talking Boy Scout Swiss Army Knives, either. Those things havegotto be illegal.”
“Why is everyone scared of them?” Abby looked around the bar. “I mean, yeah, they’re big and muscled, and have tusks, but they’re hockey players. I’d expect people would be wanting to take selfies with them.”
“Screw it.” Willa got up from her chair, tossing her long braids over one shoulder and tugging the neckline of her shirt low enough to show off her cleavage. I tried to pull her back down into her seat andfailed.
“Hey, boys! Great fight tonight. You might not have won the game, but you beat the snot out of those Red Wings.”
The orcs all turned around. I hunched lower in my chair, but it didn’t matter. Ozar’s eyes found mine, and I knew I was red as a damned tomato. He jumped from his seat, took two steps toward me, then stopped. I could see he was just as confused about how to handle this situation as I was, so I took a deep breath, smiled, and waved him over.
“Did you and your friends want to join us?” I asked him once he’d walked the rest of the way to our table.
Ozar glanced behind him where Willa was chatting with one of the orc hockey players. Then he looked at Abby.
“Please join us,” Abby told him. “That is, if you want to. We saw the game tonight and would love to buy you all a beer.”
Where Willa was bold and brash, Abby was all friendly flattery. No man could resist either of my friends, for very different reasons.
And it seemed that orcs were just as susceptible to their charms as humans were. In seconds, we were all crowded around the table, bumping knees and rubbing elbows, literally, with the local hockey team. I’d expected loud bragging and pickup lines, but the orcs seemed to be nervous with us right next to them. It was kind of endearing. We all introduced ourselves. Abby ordered a round of beverages. Then there was an awkward silence.
The one named Bwat was staring at his phone in a way that reminded me a lot of the guys I’d recently gone out with from a dating site. He was a bit shorter and leaner than the others but still was well over six feet tall with muscles that a bodybuilder would envy. The one name Ugwyll looked like he was sizing us up—for what, I had no idea.Eng I recognized as the guy who’d propped up a wall the entire game. He had an arrogant, brooding expression, like he considered this whole night a giant waste of time. For some reason, that was the orc Willa had locked her sights on. I shouldn’t have been surprised. That woman always loved a challenge. And an argument.
