Page 49 of Hell In A Handbasket
“Charlie!”
“What? It’s for science! Besides, I heard you slept in my bed.”
“You’re incorrigible,” she groans. “I’m over here having a crisis, and you’re still the same Charlie Fletcher I’ve always known.”
“I can’t control the brain chemistry. I’m attracted to certain smells, just like you are. And the fact is…” I lift my head and peek toward the lake to make sure I’m still alone. “Fuck, Sera. I sniff youevery single timewe’re in the same room. Sometimes I’m obvious about it. Other times, I’m not. If I had a chance to sleep in your bed, I would’ve smothered myself with whatever pillow smelled the most like you.”
“I’m not looking for a romantic relationship with you, Charlie.” She says the words sheknowsdisarm me, slamming me with my reality and rejecting me long before I can ask for more. But dammit, I know she’s lying. Iknowshe is. “We already crossed too many lines,” she murmurs. “You’ve made your intentions clear. And God knows, I’m a woman who respects the brain chemistry thing.”
“So you like me, too.”
“On a basic, physical, sexual attraction level? Sure. You’re an attractive man with charming wit and an ability to chip away at a woman’s resolve. Sex is easy, Charlie. And we both know it can be fun.”
“How fun?” I narrow my eyes and lay my head flat again. “How much fun have you had in your lifetime? Describe it to me in perfect detail. Give me their names, ‘cos I’d like to visit with them.”
“Not nearly as much as you have, I’m certain.”
Burn.
“We’re grown enough, and smart enough, to know that when sex comes into the equation, these relationships are either all in or all out. Beinginis easy. It would even be fun. For a while. It’s the beingoutthat makes me sick to my stomach. I don’t want to leave her again.”
“So don’t! You don’t have to cut her off just because you hate me.”
“I nearly killed myself last time I tried this, Charlie. I hurt her when I was trying so hard to protect her.”
“Sera—”
“I value what I have with Miamorethan the prospect of good sex. So even if I sometimes want to, and even if I think it would feel really good, and godddd,” she moans, “even if I know it would scratch an itch, I’m not willing to trade her for something so dumb. Platonic friendship is how we’ll serve her best. For her,” she sighs, “this is how it has to be.”
“That sounds really fucking un-fun,” I grunt. “And I’m itchy all over.”
“Un-fun is how we create stability for Mia.”Thump. “You’ll have to ask someone else to take care of your itches. And I’ll?—”
“Get it somewhere else?” I bite out. “You’d spend time with my daughter while smelling of another man?”
“Well, not this weekend. This weekend is all about her.”
“How will you explainthisto him?” I counter. “How will you explain us?Dear Dude Applicant. We can be in a relationship, but I’m also sorta co-parenting with this other dude. He’s sexy and horny, and he won’t stop telling me he wants me. But you have nothing to worry about. It’s totally platonic.”
“Well, no. Not with those words.” I don’t have to see her to know she rolls her eyes. “The right person will understand. He’ll never question my integrity?—”
“I’ll never make itsafe,” I cut in savagely. “There will never come a point where I face him, eye to eye, and assure him this is only about Mia.”
“Charlie—”
“I’ll wait till you’ve walked away, and I’ll tell him exactly what I want from you. I’ll tell him what I think of you. How, on the days I’m not lying in bed, stressing about parenthood, I’m lying in bed, thinking aboutyou.”
She whimpers. “Stop it.”
“I’ll tell him how I dream of you. How I get two fucking minutes a day where I’m not working and not parenting and not paying bills or cooking a meal. Just two minutes in the shower, and I swear to Christ, Seraphina, I’m touching my cock and wishing it was you.”
Her breath comes out on a shuddering exhale. Her lungs, spasming becauseshe wants me, too.
“This isn’t one-sided,” I grit out. “I know you look for me when you think I won’t notice. I know you’re curious. And fuck, I know you’ve dreamed of me and woke alone, hurting.”
“This isnotan appropriate conversation.”
“I know.”And my cock is raging hard.“But my daughter is in another room, so I’m declaring this my two minutes. We could scratch this itch and still be friends. We could do the fun stuff, and still make it so none of that affects Mia.”
