Page 105 of Off Script
Ben
Swatting my arm, Jo perches onto the couch next to me.
“Hey, what was that for?” I grumble.
“Get up. Have you showered in the last few days? Good lord, have you even changed clothes? You stink, Sutton.” She pinches her nose between her thumb and index finger.
“Dramatic much?”
“And that facial hair you’re sporting has you looking like you belong on that old podunk TV showDuck Something-or-Other. It’s not a good look on you, Ben.”
“Stinky or not, I’m still your boss, Jo, so shove it and leave me alone.”
Grabbing the television remote, she pauses my movie. “As much as I’d love to leave your cranky ass alone, no can do, boss. Willa is going to be here in half an hour, and you can’t meet with her smelling like that.”
“What the fuck, Jo?” I bark out angrily. “I’m not seeing Willa.” I wrestle the remote from Jo’s hands and start the movie back up, ignoring Jo in hopesshe’ll go away.
I do not need to see Willa, nor do I want to see her. In fact, I have gone out of my way not to see her. Hell, even thinking about Willa makes my blood pressure rise.
When Jo remains by my side, sitting quietly for several minutes as I stew, I know she’s not going to let me off the hook.
Pausing my movie, I ask petulantly, “Why would you let Willa ambush me?”
“You’ve barely spoken a single word to Willa since it all went down in Japan. You want an explanation and she’s offering to give you one.” Jo has the audacity to let out a frustrated sigh like I’m putting her out when clearly the reverse is true. “Maybe, just maybe, you’ll figure out your anger is misplaced and you’re using Willa as your scapegoat because that’s easier than facing the truth. Now go shower and shave and stop acting like a pouty asshat.”
Jo grabs the remote, turns off the TV, and then takes the remote with her when she heads back out to her pool house office.
Which is why I wind up sitting on my back patio twenty-five minutes later, showered and changed, waiting for Willa to arrive. I drew the line at shaving though. Willa can deal with my facial hair.
But thinking of my scruff only reminds me of how much Carlisle enjoyed the feel of my stubble on her inner thighs. Dragging my hands roughly down my face, I shake my head.
Damn, I have got to cleanse her from my system once and for all. If only I knew how…
Jordan is pushing thesometimes the best way to get over someone is to get under someone elsetheory, but so far, I’ve held out. The thought of having sex with another woman turns my stomach.
Jo must have told Willa where I’d be because Willa lets herself into the backyard through the side gate and timidly waves hello. My first thought when I see her is that she looks different. Her signatureauburn hair looks darker, closer to brown now than red, and it’s longer too. She’s dressed in casual, athletic wear and her face is pale and unadorned with make-up.
I know I look different too. This whole disaster of a showmance didn’t leave either of us unscathed.
Uncomfortably, I stand, unsure how to act around Willa. After the debacle in Japan, all traces of our easygoing friendship have evaporated. Politely, I motion for her to take a seat on the sofa across from mine. It feels awkward AF between us now.
Damn it, even that stupid phrase reminds me of Carlisle.
“Thanks for agreeing to see me. I know Jo probably didn’t give you much choice in the matter, but still, thanks.” Willa appears as uneasy as I feel.
I rub my temple. I have a lingering headache that won’t go away. Not sure if it’s the result of ongoing heartache, last night’s six pack of beers, or today’s aggravation, but it’s making me irritable.
But I do want an explanation, so I reply, “You were both right to force the issue. We need to discuss this so that we can move on.”
“We do,” she agrees. Willa fiddles with the thumbhole of her long-sleeved workout top, sliding her thumb in and out before taking a deep breath. “I never wanted for any of this to happen.” She hesitates. “I haven’t been in a good headspace for the last few months. Really for the past year and a half, if I’m being honest. I’ve been dealing with some heavy stuff, and I haven’t been happy.”
Her words echo in my head.I haven’t been in a good headspace for the last few months. Really for the past year and a half.
Which would have been about the time that Willa was in the hospital. I’d always suspected that she’d been hiding something, but I didn’t ask her. I told myself that she’d open up to me if she wanted to, buthonestly, I think I didn’t push her to talk to me because I didn’t have the bandwidth to deal with anything else.
Damn, I really have been a shit friend to Willa.Whatever happened to her that landed her in the hospital has caused lasting effects.
But before I can ask her more about what happened, Willa continues. “You were sweet and attentive to me when I was upset on the plane to New York for ourGood Morning USAinterview. You always have been, but I noticed it more because I was feeling so down. Lost and lonely. I don't know if you remember, but when we were on that plane flight, you suggested focusing on forming a solid friendship first and then seeing something more could come from that. I think that’s when I started to look at you in a new light.
