Page 4 of Tastes Like Watermelon Moonshine
“I can’t believe I ran into you here,” she purrs at me. “I love finding baseball players out in the wild.” Her manicured hand tries to squeeze its way between my bicep and my torso. Stomach acid starts to rise in my throat, and I swallow it back down. I keep walking, hoping she’ll just back off.
She doesn’t. Her heels clack faster as she chases me.
“I’m heading home. I was just hanging out with Jacob, and I have a busy day tomorrow. So, I gotta go.” I increase my pace. I could just flat out run, I am one of the fastest on the team. Even though I don’t want to talk, I’m not going to snub Becca. I puff a frustrated breath out through my nose.
“Why don’t we get a coffee together.” She sounds like a whiny toddler. “Or we could wait a few hours and sneak into a club.” What is with her and Jacob and clubs? Maybe the two ofthem should get together. She trills out a creepy laugh, and my stomach attempts to revolt again.
Just be straight with her.“I’d rather be alone. Thanks for the offer though.”
“Awww, come on. You look like you need a friend.” I can hear the pout in her voice, but I refuse to look at her. Her fingernails scratch my arm, making me wince.
“Look, I’m not up for it. Not right now.” I keep my voice firm and my face like stone as I pull away from her.
“Fine. Go be alone.” She throws a curse at me before stomping off, her heels beating a staccato tune that gives me more creepy vibes.
Finally back in my small apartment, I flop onto my unmade bed. I sigh as I throw my arm over my eyes. I really should call Coach. I’ve put it off for so long. I haven’t gone as far as silencing his calls. I just haven’t answered. He was there for so much last year. I truly wouldn’t have made it through the year, let alone get drafted, without his help and support.
I pull out my phone and it unlocks instantly because I’m not into having to remember a code or look at my phone a specific way to open it. “No missed calls.” It makes my chest pinch. There was one, once. And I did call her back. But she didn’t answer. I want a missed call from her. I want every call in my call log to be her. I want to know that she wants to talk to me. That she still loves me. I stare at her contact info before swiping down to Coach’s name.
The call rings three times before Coach picks up. “Austin! I’ve been waiting to hear from you.” Coach’s voice holds his usual warmth, praise, and care. If only he knew. Sure, I’m still a great ballplayer, but where it really counts… I’m broken.
Knowing Coach the way that I do, I don’t think his knowledge of what happened would change his opinion of me all that much, if at all. I only hope that the same is true of God as well.
“Hey Coach, sorry I took so long to call. Things got busy, and well-” A sigh makes my chest rise and fall. “I just… I got a lot on my mind.”
“I expected as much. I bet you’re keeping busy. So, how is Atlanta? I’ve done my best to keep track of your games. Spent any time with your dad?” I can picture the way he would raise one eyebrow and wait patiently for me to answer his questions.
I put the phone on speaker and rub both hands over my two day old beard. The way it prickles against my fingers keeps me alert and grounded. “Eh, things are okay, I guess. It’s a different pace, playing in the minors. But it’s good. It definitely keeps me busy.” I stare at the ceiling, thinking over what all to share and how much to say. “I haven’t seen Dad yet. I’m not ready to. Not yet.”
My relationship with Dad is… amicable. We both spoke our piece after my graduation. But we’re not best friends. He’s not back to being the man that encouraged my love of baseball.
“How’s the long distance working with Raegan? I’ve seen her a few times, she looks tired and lonely. Bet a good talk with you might cheer her up. Sounds like you need some cheering up, as well.”
If only you knew, Coach.I don’t want to rat out Raegan. It isn't just my story to tell. I can't betray her by airing her dirty laundry. I don't even want to air my own dirty laundry.
“Uh, we, uh… We haven’t actually talked since I left.”Honesty is best, right?
“Well, no wonder both of you feel lonely and sad.” Coach pauses, and I know he’s thinking over how to ask what had caused us to quit talking. “Did you two break up?” His question is less inquisitive than I expected.
“No.” I squeeze my eyes shut against the pain that builds up in my chest. There’s even pressure behind my eyes. “I mean– Idon’t know.” I screw my mouth up, trying not to overthink the situation. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I understand if you don’t want to discuss it with me. But you make sure you’re discussing it with the One who knows everything and will guide you and lead you wisely.”
This was Coach’s thing, every conversation points back to God. I try to force my lips into a smile and focus on what Coach has taught me about God. “Yes, Coach. I know.”
I’ve tried to take things to God, but I feel a separation. I feel like I’ve failed God because I’m not as broken over what happened.
“You’re a good guy, Austin.”
Would you still tell me that if you knew the truth, Coach?
“Thanks, Coach.”
“Well, I’ve got to get Ms. Rosa to an appointment real soon here. But it was good to hear your voice, Austin. I’m praying for you, and for Raegan too.” His tone changes and I know he has a smile on his face.
“Thanks, Coach. I’ll talk to you later. Say hi to Ms. Rosa for me.”
I tap the end call button, and drop my phone beside me on the bed.God, help me. If You even care about me anymore.
