Page 37 of Tastes Like Watermelon Moonshine
I sigh, and let my head drop against the back of the sofa.
“Transition can go quickly, and you’ve progressed really well so far. So if you want to relax in the pool, now would be a good time to get in.” Jenn sticks out her hand and helps me up from my spot.
Set at ninety-eight degrees, the birthing pool feels perfect. I sink down so that the water covers my contracting belly, sighing between each intense contraction.
“You can pick any position you want, get comfortable. If you’re relaxed and comfortable your body will do what it’s supposed to do.” Jenn rubs my back reassuringly as Mom kneels in front of me and holds my hands.
“My baby is having her own baby.” Tears coat Mom’s eyes. “I’m so proud of you. You’ve been so brave, so strong. You’ve grown and matured, and I can’t wait to see you hold your baby in your arms. Can’t wait to watch you raise this little girl.” She presses a kiss to my forehead, and even though my body is aching, I feel strong, I feel empowered.
As long as I’m upright, gravity is my friend. I lean my back against the side for a while. Then I lean over the side, letting my arms hang outside the tub. The squeezing bands of pressure roll over me in quick succession. I feel like I don’t have time to breathe in between them. Giving in, I let out a moan. I haven’t made a peep other than talking up until this point. The contractions aren’t really painful. They’re just intense. Overwhelming at times. Mom’s warm hand rubs my back.
I’m ready for it to be over. I want to breathe normally again. I want to sleep. And I want to hold Baby Bean in my arms.
I’ve mulled over several middle names in the past few weeks, her first name is set. I haven’t mentioned any of them to Mom, or my friends. I stare down at my belly, watching it change shape with the contractions. One night. It only took one night. One moment. To cause all of this. And even though I still carry guilt and shame about it, I know that God’s grace also covers it all. Covers me, covers my sin. And it covers Austin as well.
I moan through another contraction. “I feel like I’m going to throw up… and poop.” Is this what the need to push feels like? “Can I push yet?” I drop my head and gasp as the most intense contraction yet overtakes me.
“If your body feels the need to push, then it’s time. I can check you if you want, or you can just follow your body’s lead.”Jenn brushes a stray hair from my face. “You choose how you want to do it, and I’ll support you either way.”
I nod, my cheek rubbing against the side of the birthing pool. I know all about the fetal ejection reflex, but I’m tired of waiting. I want this baby out.
“I’m ready to push.” But I also don’t want to move. Jenn instructs me on how to push from where I hang on the side of the tub.
It’s been hours. Well, that’s how it feels. But Mom says it’s only been fifteen minutes.
I’ve got a baby in my arms. She slid out perfectly, right into my hands. Her head of dark hair is most definitely from her daddy. And her delicate ivory-like features come from me.
Tears stream down my face and her cries fill the room as she lays on my chest.
Her tiny fist wraps around my finger as we try to get the hang of this breastfeeding thing.
“Grace.” I say, looking at Mom. “Grace Aurora. For God’s grace, and for her Daddy.” My voice breaks, and my body shakes. Both from the emotions and from what I physically just went through to bring this beautiful baby into this world.
“And she was born on your birthday.” Mom smiles down at me, tears in her eyes. I couldn’t have done this without her.
Now that I’m cleaned up and settled in my own bed, Rob and Riley come in to meet their niece. They take turns holding Grace, gasping about her size and the fact that she somehow fit inside my body.
Dad comes in after he’s finished his morning chores. He cries just like Mom did. Part of me wants to wallow and claim he’s upset at me, but I know that he is proud of me. He and Mom stand there, hugging each other. Watching me. Their eyes are filled with love. I can’t help but bask in the love, in the fact that they stood by me through my trial, through my doubts.
“Her name is perfect. She’s perfect. And adorable. Just like her mommy. You did a good job, Raegs.” He presses a kiss to my forehead and snuggles Grace close as he prays over her. He thanks God for blessing us with her, and asks God to protect her and one day make her His own.
Now that Grace has been here for a few hours, Jaimie sits in my room, muted sunlight shining through the gauzy curtains onto Grace’s head of dark hair.
“So, Austin gave you some awesome birthday gifts, huh?”
I laugh from my spot in the bed. “Yeah, I guess he did.” My fingers reach for my necklace. The other birthday gift from Austin.
Chapter 17
Raegan - The Past
Buttondownplaid.TheRaegan Carter trademark, or so I’ve been told. And jeans. Everything goes with jeans. But they’ve got to be bell bottom or parachute pants. Whatever you call them, those are the ones to wear. And yes, I did start wearing them because of Lainey Wilson.
I just don’t know which shirt to wear, or which pair of pants. Stone washed? Maybe the dark ones? And how in the world do I do my hair?
Austin has a special birthday planned for me today, and for once I want to actually put some thought into my outfit, and maybe wear a little more makeup than I normally do. Jaimie and Chrissy are over and will drive me to the Rolling R, where they will chaperone, from a distance, my birthday dinner. Then join us for a bonfire after.
“Ugh, y’all, I don’t know what to wear. Or what to do with my hair.” I spin in a circle and throw my arms up in a dramaticgesture. Did I accidentally drink Chrissy’s coffee this morning? This is her type of move, not mine.
