Page 62 of Tastes Like Watermelon Moonshine
“I’ll talk to you later, okay, Sun–, Rae?”
“Okay, yeah. Bye.” Tapping the end call button, I let the tears fall freely, trying to focus on the words Rosa gave to me.
Free, Forgiven, Filled.
“I can only face him with your strength, God. I can’t do this on my own.”
Chapter 29
Raegan - The Present
Thebabymonitorhumson the counter behind me, and dishes clink in the sink as I rinse them and set them on the dishwasher rack. My heart is still raw from Ms. Rosa’s funeral the other day. I had prepared myself to possibly see Austin there, but he wasn’t there. And I was both relieved and sad at that.
As usual, I’ve got a country playlist playing. It’s easier to make my own list on Spotify than suffer through commercial breaks on the radio. I swear it somehow reads my brain, and knows what I’m thinking. Lainey Wilson’s “Watermelon Moonshine” comes on.
Images of Austin and me flash through my mind. Even though he said he wasn’t dating anyone, I know it’s too good to be true. He’s a hot baseball player. What girl wouldn’t want him? And why would he want little old me, the girl who wants to stay in a small town in Texas, a girl who made a commitmentto save sex for marriage, but fell apart because she broke that commitment?
Our time together will be just like the song. It’ll be a memory. A bittersweet memory. The days of being in love had been the high… And just like the song, it hadn’t lasted forever. One day I’ll go back out to my tree. I haven’t had the courage to yet. I think when I do, maybe I’ll finally get closure. Maybe I’ll finally put my feelings for him away.
Part of me wants to hold on to those feelings. To those memories. I don’t want to let them go. I don’t want to embrace being a single mom. I want him. I want happily ever after.
Free. Forgiven. Filled.I tell myself. I have to think about something else before I start crying. A customer could walk in at any minute and catch me with a blotchy, red, tear-stained face.
Christmas is three days away, he’ll be in town any day now, I’m sure. Will he stop by? We didn’t say for sure that we would talk... I shake my head and focus on the bread pan I’m scrubbing.
The bell on the front door jingles as a new customer walks in. It’s been slow, with it being Christmas week. People have ordered desserts to take home, but I haven’t had too many sit down customers.
“Be with you in a moment. Let me get these dishes out of the machine.” I call out. I wipe my cheeks on my shoulders, hoping that there’s no sign of tears. Good thing I don’t wear mascara often, otherwise it would probably be running.
“Okay.” The customer says in a deep, male voice.
The hot water in the sink turns to ice around my bare hands. The sounds of the music and the dishwasher fade away. It couldn’t be, could it?
I dry off my hands and move the dishes from the machine to the drying towel.
I’m both cold and hot. Sweat is popping out on my forehead.
My blood freezes in my veins, but pounds in my ears.
I walk into the front room and just stare at him.
His shoulders are broader, his biceps are bigger. He’s more handsome than ever before. He’s manly now. Any hint of teenage boyishness is totally gone. Light stubble covers his angular jaw, and his silky curls beg for my fingers. He shoves his hands into a pair of jeans that are made just for him. He bites his lips as he watches me. Every inch of that man is perfection.
Our eyes finally meet, and I have to force myself to breathe. I want to round that counter and jump into his arms as fast as he rounds the bases. I swallow, the sound seeming to echo through the room.
“I hear you own this place now.” His voice is more husky than I remember. My skin pebbles with goosebumps, and I long to hear the rumble of his voice as I lay my head on his chest.
I mentally slap myself. He could’ve lied to me. There could be someone else. Not to mention I have a secret of my own. I can’t think about him that way until I know where things stand between us.
“Hi.” Is all that I manage to say. My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth, and my heart is racing, but not beating all at the same time. “I wasn’t sure if…” Tears prickle, begging for release. I close my eyes and blow out a deep breath. “I didn't know if I’d ever see you again.”
He looks down at his feet, his hands still in his pockets. He lifts his sad eyes up to meet mine. “I wasn’t sure if I’d ever see you either.”
I blurt it all out. “I called a few times. And then I just gave up. Some girl answered your phone. Told me to move on. So I never called again. I wanted to. I wanted to call you. To text you. To tell you about everything going on here–going on in my life–but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to ruin whatever new relationship you were in.”
Austin shifts from foot to foot, then rubs the back of his neck. “You’re not all to blame, Rae.” His eyes flit around the room, anywhere except for me. “I could’ve reached out to you, too. But I didn’t. I was nervous. I was ashamed. Thought maybe you hated me.” He looks me straight in the eye, “But never ever has there been another girl.”
Oh, how I wish he would’ve tacked something like ‘you’re the only girl for me’ onto the end of his sentence.
