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LYLA

Dear Mr. Banks,

I would like to inform you that I will be heading downstairs to grab lunch from The Smoothie Bar at approximately 12:15 p.m. If you have any last-minute requests, please let me know as soon as possible, so I have ample time to process them.

Sincerely,

Smoothie Bar Enthusiast

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Smoothie Bar Enthusiast,

Thank you for thinking of me. Am I right in assuming that is a regular occurrencefor you?

I do not have any requests at this time, but my appreciation knows no bounds.

Yours,

Primary Resident of Lyla Hayward’s Thoughts

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Evicted Resident of Lyla Hayward’s Thoughts,

I wasn’t aware when I accepted this role that I’d be working for someone that’s such a smart-aleck. Now that this information has come to light, I feel it would be in my best interest to resign as your assistant, effective immediately.

Nice knowing you,

Former Personal Assistant to the Chief Executive Officer

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Former Personal Assistant to the Chief Executive Officer,

I am startled to hear of your unforeseen resignation. How am I expected to continue acting as CEO without an assistant? Due to this, I feel as though I have no choice but to step down from my position as well.

Would you mind sending out a company-wide email on my behalf before packing up your desk?

Yours,

Chief Executive Officer No More

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Chief Executive Officer No More,

You’re dramatic.

Not so sincerely,

Unemployed Seeking Work

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Unemployed Seeking Work,

Now that we don’t work together, how would you feel if I asked you on a date?