Page 89 of A Duchess Bound
Elias sighed. “Very well.”
Dorothy’s eyes remained fixed on Gerard’s face, drinking him in as though she had not seen him in years. He turned his head, and the easy smile on his face fell instantly. His eyes widened, and although she was too far away to hear him, she saw his chest rise and fall in a gasp. Did he long for her?
Of course, he did not! How could he—the man who had rejected her? Dorothy tried to force a smile. She had some vague thoughtthat she might convince him that she did not continue to think of him, but her mouth refused to move into even the smallest smile.
At last, Dorothy managed to avert her gaze. By chance, her eyes locked with those of Lady Everleigh, a stately widow. “Are you enjoying the evening?” The words stuck in her throat, making it difficult to breathe.
Maybe she could distract herself with the conversation. If not, she might at least be able to convince Gerard that she was no longer thinking of him. She could have conversations and interests that were not abouthim.
Her chest ached, and her face grew hot. Even when she had resolved to ignore him, she wanted to look at him to see if he still watched her.
“The ball is adequate,” Lady Everleigh said, fanning herself.
It was a perfectly acceptable answer, but it left Dorothy with little to respond to. She searched for something mildly intelligent to say, but all her thoughts turned to Gerard. Was he watching her?
“The company is better,” Lady Everleigh added, casting Dorothy a shrewd look.
She did not know what that meant. It was doubtful that Lady Everleigh, with whom Dorothy had only exchanged a handfulof conversations, found Dorothy to be particularly stimulating company.
“I agree,” Dorothy said.
She had no reason todisagree, except for Gerard’s presence, and she was not about to indicate to Lady Everleigh that there was anything amiss. But Lady Everleigh’s eyes flitted to just behind Dorothy, whose heart raced. Gerard was in that direction. Was ithewhom Lady Everleigh gazed at?
Dorothy dared to look and found that Gerard’s face was turned to her. He looked away in an instant in a clear attempt to feign that he had not been watching her.
“The Duke of Greenway is watching us,” Lady Everleigh said, sounding as though she was choosing her words with exceptional care. “Are you acquainted with him?”
“Passingly,” Dorothy said. “Are you?”
“Indeed. His Grace and I are good friends.”
How good, exactly? Dorothy’s face warmed at the insidious, provocative thought. Was she standing beside one of Gerard’s old lovers?
“He is a complicated man,” Lady Everleigh added, with that same sense that she was weighing every word quite carefullybefore speaking. “Frustrating, like most men. But uniquely frustrating.”
Dorothy let out a small, startled laugh. Lady Everleigh was correct, but the statement had been so direct and blunt that it caught her by surprise.
“If you know him…” Lady Everleigh trailed off. Her eyes narrowed, and she seemed to assess Dorothy quite closely. “I imagine you also find him uniquely frustrating. If you do not, you soon will.”
“I did find him frustrating,” Dorothy said, “but I do not imagine that we will speak often. I cannot find him to be vexing if I do not interact with him.”
“That is untrue,” Lady Everleigh said.
“How so?”
“Vexing people have a way of lingering in the mind,” Lady Everleigh explained. “Even if you do not speak to him, you will find yourself ruminating over his presence. Sometimes, you will be caught unaware by it. You will not think of him for days or weeks…until suddenly, you do.
Dorothy’s heart was in her throat, for Lady Everleigh had described her situation in part. “If you…if you did ruminate, would you ever…” Dorothy trailed off.
Lady Everleigh fanned herself. The woman’s face softened with something like sympathy, and Dorothy had the sinking feeling that her suspicions were correct. Lady Everleigh knew Gerard very intimately, indeed.
The revelation affected her more than it likely should have, for Dorothy had known that Gerard had lovers. Many of them, in fact. Why should it be a surprise to encounter one?
“Are you trying to ask if it ever becomes easier?” Lady Everleigh asked gently. “One may heal from heartache. That much is quite true. It takes time, though. Is there something dreadful from whichyouare recovering?”
Dorothy swallowed and shook her head. “No, I just assumed that we were speaking philosophically.”
“I see. I do not know if I can share any particular philosophy on love,” Lady Everleigh said. “Sometimes, I am quite certain that such a thing does not even exist.”
