Page 65 of Rebound
“You told literally everyone we met last night that you want to win the break-up.”
“That was the drunk me. You can’t trust what a drunk person says.”
I lick my lips, leaning forward. I don’t have a lot of time to convince her. The team is about to leave and I’m the most likely person to be left behind.
“How about you help me, then?” It’s a cheap shot. Lavinia’s the nicest person I know, and she’s always willing to help the people she cares about.
I’m not sure I can claim to be someone she cares about, though. There’s every chance our marriage is going to be the legal consequence I think all marriages are. Or maybe Lavinia will surprise me.
TWENTY-TWO
LAVINIA
I can’t believe I’m going to say yes to this harebrained idea because I am. He had me at needing my help and he knows it. Roman might not have been a good friend through the years and I have every reason to tell him to fuck off with that request, except my good girl heart can’t handle it.
“What do you need help with?”
Roman swallows, glancing at Jules and then back to me. His eyes are clouded as he leans in even closer; I can smell his aftershave. It’s something spicy and cold that tickles my senses deliciously and makes me want to lean in and sniff him. There’s a divot between his eyebrows I want to smooth out, though I’m too afraid to touch him.
“I…look, you’re close to the team,” Roman begins. “If I have any hope of getting an in with them and staying here, it’s you.”
The shock of this news actually causes me to freeze, and it takes a minute before my brain starts working again.
“I wasn’t expecting that,” I say quietly. I always assumed he’s happy being traded. I’ve met players like that and being traded isn’t always a bad thing. Roman’s played for a lot of teams, and I can see where it might get tiresome, having to start all over again.
“There’s something else.”
I nod in encouragement. Of course there is.
“I’ve spent my entire career building a reputation as not much of a team player and the only thing I’m known for is fighting on the ice.”
I open my mouth to interrupt, and Roman holds up his hand. “You know it’s true, so there’s no need to placate me. You know what they call me.”
I wince, because I do know what hockey fans call him. The Brutalizer. It’s a stupid and toxic nickname, and they say it proudly while singing Roman’s praises. These fans literally come to the games to watch Roman hit someone.
“Those people and their opinions are irrelevant. That’s not who you are,” I assert.
Roman’s mouth tilts up into a small, humorless smile. He doesn’t believe me, but it’s the truth. I know him. I’ve known him my whole life and even if we didn’t talk for some eighteen odd years and I don’t know his favorite color or the way he takes his coffee or what makes him get up in the morning,I know him.
I can’t explain it properly. There’s a part of me which recognizes him, knows him almost as well as I know myself or Jules, even if I don’t know the little details that make him up. I hate that those people have narrowed his worth down to some toxic nickname and now he believes that’s all he is.
“Look, the way I see it, I need to change my reputation and the fastest way to do it is by being seen with someone everyone loves.” He motions towards me. “You wouldn’t marry an asshole, despite your past history. We can help each other.”
Wow. That dig is entirely unnecessary, though it’s well deserved.
“You’re suggesting we stay married to change our reputations? You get to be good, and I get to be… not-good?” I ask.
Roman grins. “I love how you didn’t say ‘bad’.”
“I don’t want to be bad. I want to be less?—”
“Good?” Roman supplies.
I release a heavy sigh. I can’t even explain myself properly. I’ve always done everything everyone has asked of me, and it led me to have a successful career and an unsuccessful personal life.
My most meaningful relationship is with my best friend, and while I’ll happily spend the rest of my life with her, I don’t want to miss the chance of falling in love. I’m not sure I’ve ever given myself the chance to fall in love, not even with Josh. He loved the version of me he wanted.
I want to find the version of me I used to be before everything became too much.
