Page 99 of Rebound
From the corner of my eye, I see Kai shrug. “Why does that make you nervous?”
“Because feelings, Kai. Feelings are complicated and big.”
“Life is big and complicated, Lavinia. What’s the worst that can happen if you like a boy?”
“He can like me back and then dump me because I’m not exciting enough.”
My face heats as I realize I’ve admitted my worst fear out loud to Kai. I don’t want to dump my emotions on the poor guy.
“Then he’s an idiot,” Kai says confidently. “Any man who doesn’t see how amazing you are doesn’t deserve to even know you. My grandmother always says that excitement is like the spark of a match. It’s enough to ignite, but it’s never going to last. If you keep chasing excitement, you’re never going to be happy. You have to allow yourself to be bored and to settle, in the best ways possible. You grow in the quiet moments.”
I reflect on his words as I drive, and I realize how true they are. When I look back at my relationships, and not only the romantic ones, I realize they are not important to me because of the things we did together or the loud moments we shared.
They’re important because we grew together in the loud moments, but most importantly in the quiet ones, in the everyday moments that you don’t remember but make up the better part of your relationship. I also realize I still want that in a romantic relationship.
“Your grandmother is a very smart woman,” I tell Kai.
For the rest of the drive, we remain quiet, listening to our audiobook. We’re supposed to be reading this book for the book club, which consists of Kai, Jules, and me. The one we’re currently listening to is a second chance romance, and while I’m not a huge fan of those, I’m enjoying this one.
I don’t like the concept of going back to your ex after they’ve done something messed up to lead to the break up, but when it’s external circumstances that tear them apart and they come together stronger? You can’t keep the book away from me.
I pull the car into the underground garage of Kai’s building and park in the visitor’s parking lot.
“Are you and Roman going to move in together?” Kai asks, as we walk to the elevator lobby.
Lying to my family and friends is the one downside of this pretend marriage. It’s not a real marriage so I can’t move in with Roman, even though he’s offered. It’ll definitely make the marriage believable, but I can’t let go of the fear.
“Yeah, maybe,” I hedge. “Eventually.”
“See, this is what I don’t understand about your relationship. You’re married, but you don’t act like you’re married.”
“Not all relationships are built the same, Kai. Two people can be married and not live together. Aunt Constance was married to her third husband for fifteen years and they maybe spent the equivalent of five months together. Although, according to family lore it was a lavender marriage.”
We step into the elevator and Kai presses the button for his floor and Roman’s.
“So, you’re going to be married and not live together?”
I shrug. “My life could use a little drama.”
That makes him laugh and when the elevator stops at his floor, he gets out and turns to face me. “You would hate having a dramatic life. You need a quiet, boring life.”
The door closes before he can see the look on my face, but the steel reflects a warped version of my own stricken expression.
THIRTY-TWO
ROMAN
Lavinia knocks on my door a little before seven. I open it and there she is, wearing black joggers and a thin black sweater, a red ribbon tied in her hair.
“I know I’m a little early. Do you want me to come back?”
Before I can reply, she’s already taking a step back and turning away. There’s panic in her eyes as if she expects me to be angry because she’s fifteen minutes early, when nothing can be farther from the truth.
“Where are you going?” I grab her hand and pull her back to me. “You’re never too early, and I never want you to go. I’m always happy to see you, and the fact that you don’t know this by now is clearly a failure on my part.”
Lavinia’s green eyes widen slightly and her soft mouth parts. Her cheeks are flushed. I can’t help it, I lean in and kiss her cheek, breathing in her scent. She smells like flowers and something earthy, absolutely delicious.
“Kita and I were having coffee,” I say, leading her into the apartment.
