Page 120 of Rebound
“Roman, you good?” I think it’s Kai. I open an eye to confirm and yup, he’s standing next to me, worry lining his brows. I give him a thumbs up.
“Never been better,” I grind out through clenched teeth.
He looks doubtful. I can hear the guys behind him. They’re probably getting ready to leave.
“You need a minute?” Kai nods his head towards the nearest door. It’s the medical room and Kai leaves the light off. There are windows that let in enough light for me to see him.
“Try to think of something good,” Kai says, with this easy confidence that has me doing exactly what he asks of me. “It usually helps me when I feel like the world is resting on my shoulders and I’m being pressed down into the ground.”
Think of something good. That’s easy. Lavinia. Lavinia’s smile. The way her hair is the craziest when she wakes up. The way she looked on the back of my bike. Her kindness and gentle spirit. Her resilience. The way she never wants to let me win. The way she looked spread out on my couch. Sleeping next to me.
“Better?” Kai asks.
I realize that my breaths are coming a lot easier, and I nod, raking a hand through my hair.
“Thank you,” I say.
“You’re welcome.”
I’m suddenly exhausted and all I want to do is go back to the hotel room and call Lavinia. I’m sure the sound of her voice will chase away any remaining darkness.
“Do you feel this way a lot?” Kai asks. “I’m only asking so I can help in the future if you need me to.”
I rub my hands on my shorts, opening and closing them. There’s still a slight shake to them and I shove them into my pockets. To say I’m surprised by Kai’s offer will be an understatement. It’s completely unexpected.
“Why do you want to help me?”
Kai eyes me curiously, tilting his head to the side. “You’re not really as bad as we think you are.”
I huff out a laugh. “I’m not a people person.”
“You’re nice to Lavinia,” he points out.
“Lavinia is… She’s Lavinia.” I shrug because I can’t explain my obsession with her without sounding crazy.
Kai tilts his head, assessing me carefully. “You really like her, don’t you? This isn’t a whim you’re sticking with.”
Something in me wants to shy away from this question. Not because I don’t like Lavinia. To be perfectly honest, it’s probably more than like at this point. I’m hesitating because I’m not lying when I say Lavinia is the only person I’ve ever been open with. Every other time I’ve tried, I’ve been rejected, most especially with my parents.
I don’t want to be that person anymore. Telling myself that I’m better off alone has left me alone. If I’m going to change things with the Titans, I need to be more open.
“I do like her,” I say. “Since we were kids. Lavinia is the only woman I’ve ever wanted. I’m not going to tell you more before I’ve even told her.”
Kai laughs lightly. “If you’re like this more often, the guys might actually like you.”
“Kai, no, you never want to change to have someone like you. It’s not worth it.”
We can’t spend the whole day in the medical room. The team is waiting on the other side of that door, and we have a game to play tonight. I have to go out there and pretend that everything is fine.
“Thank you for helping me,” I say, shifting uncomfortably.
“Any time,” he offers. The strange thing is, I think he means it.
I move around him, patting his shoulder on my way to the door. I should’ve remembered how codependent these guys are because the team’s right outside, waiting for us. Drew and Ford stand in front of the guys, arms crossed, looking like bouncers at a club I’m not invited to. Their eyes bounce back and forth between us.
“You okay?” Drew asks, his eyes looking behind me.
“Of course. Roman and I were talking.” Kai steps out of the room and shrugs casually, as if he didn’t drop a bomb on the team. It’s almost comical the way their eyebrows spike up.
