Page 43 of Wild Heart
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“Are you crazy or just stupid?”Clay gives me the same look my dad dished out the other night when he asked the same dumb question.
“Why the hell would I beg her to stay?” I’d do anything for Summer, but asking her to start over, miles away from her loved ones, and in another country no less, is not something I'm prepared to do. “She’s a city girl, Clay. I’m a fool for letting myself fall for her to begin with. I sure as hell ain't gonna be a bigger fool by begging her to stay here - for me.” My head shakes with solemn disdain.
A heifer bucks out, shunting Clay sideways. “Easy there.” I reach out my hand to steady him.
Our gloved hands meet, and he squeezes, hauling himself away from the ginger cow looking for a fight. “That damn beast is just as stubborn as you are, Hayden. Are you seriously going to let Summer walk out of your life?”
“Don’t… you know what Levi went through. Summer needs to make the decision for herself. She knows how I feel about her.”
Clay’s eyebrows lift skeptically. “Are you sure about that? You know what women are like, you gotta play the game with them.” He peeled off the latex glove and scrunched it up. “Have you actually spelled it out for her?”
“She can feel the connection between us. I ain’t alone on that. It’s what makes the sex so explosive.”
“Have you told her?” Clay holds on to each word like he’s talking to a kid.
“Sure I have. I’ve told her I like her. If that’s not enough for her, then maybe she’s not…” My stomach does a silly flip. I don’t want her to leave, but that's exactly what she’s planning to do.
Clay rests his hand on my shoulder. “Look, buddy, I’ve known you for a long time, and I ain't never seen that look on your face before. I’ve seen you shed a tear when I put your dog down, but this…” His eyes soften and he smiles tightly. “You’re in love with Summer.” My knees feel weird, like I’m treading water, dazed and confused. “There’s something about your eyes when she’s with you. You're different. Happy.” He shrugs like he can’t pinpoint his thoughts. I know exactly what he means. I’ve lost my head since the day I met her.
“Where is she now?” he asks, swinging the gate open.
“Inside.” My hat nods to the house where my girl is hanging out for the last time. I told her to take the last few days off before she went home, but she wanted to make sure the place was in order or something like that. I wasn’t overly engaged with her rationale because my lips had been all over her at that point.
“Ask her, Hayden. Give her the option of staying at least.” Clay presses the issue, and I suddenly feel like my chest will implode.
“Fine. if it means everyone will stop hassling me.” My nails scrape across my clenched jaw. “I’ll tell her how I feel, and then she can make her mind up.” Clay grins like the asshole he is. “If this goes tits up, you’re buying the drinks all night on Friday.”
He punches my bicep and ducks low. “Stop being a pussy, Taylor. Take a risk. Ask yourself what Beau would do.”
“Are you fucking serious, my brother is a crazy fucker… and selfish. I’m letting Summer make up her own mind, so she doesn't make the wrong decision. I want her to be happy, and when the time comes, she’ll know what that is.”
“And what about the right decision for you?”
I let out a powerful blast of air. “She’s…” I want to say the one, the cliché name for the woman who I can’t live without, but the word sticks in my throat. Not because I’m uncertain that she owns the title, but because I know it. If I admit that fact, then losing her will be a helluva harder punch. This way I can pretend to be unphased. “I’m going to see her now. Catch you later.”
Clay side smiles and loads up his truck. “Good luck, Hay.”
I don’t answer him. This situation has nothing to do with luck and everything to do with the truth. Summer needs to be honest with herself and make the right decision for both of us - whatever that may be.
Entering the house, I hear that rushed Irish cadence, the endearing lilt that makes me smile every damn time. She’s in my room, chatting with her best friend. I hold back, lingering in the doorway just watching as she rolls to her back, long black hair fanning my sheets, and her arms raised high so she can see her friend’s face on the screen. Star curls up close to her side and lifts her head while Summer finds a comfy position on my bed.
“Omigod, Ellie, I can’t believe I’ll see you soon. I’ve missed you so much.” She contains her excitement like a champagne bottle preparing to pop its cork.
I can’t see her friend, but I hear her voice projected through the small phone speaker. “I’ve been so bored without you, Summer. It’s dreadful going to the events without you. I swear if you ever leave town again, I’ll be hot on your heels. Promise me you’ll never leave again.”
Summer pauses. “I promise.” Her tone drops. “Mother is throwing a party.”
“For real - even though she’s the one who sent you packing?”
She giggles at the same time as my arms fold. “You would think the old bird actually missed me.”
“Of course she missed you!” Her friend sounds sincere. “We all have. Even Jake was asking where you were.”
“Jake Drennan was asking where I was?” The hairs on my neck lift, and my shoulders tense. “I guess you don’t know a good thing ‘til it’s gone.”
Kill me right now.
