Page 147 of Perfect Happiness
“But you know what?I resent my grandfather more.Because he said that he liked me better than her, my grandmother would lock me in that room while she slept in the master bedroom—like some fat pig.I later heard from my mom that I was there for two years because of my grandfather.He said my grandma was in good health, that I could stay there until it was time for me to start school.He said he would make me into a proper person before sending me back.When I found this out, I felt like I’d been stabbed in the back.If I’m not a person, then what am I?A beast?An insect?If I’d known this while living here, I would have pushed the old fucker into the marsh.”
Wife continues to push the wheelbarrow up a steep slope.Eun-ho hears her heavy breathing.
“We’re already here.I lost track of time talking about the past.”
The wheelbarrow stops.
“Mr.Cha, you’ve arrived at your destination.Are you ready to disembark?”
*
The dream always ended just before he fell out of the wheelbarrow.When Eun-ho opened his eyes, he was lying in an oceanfront house in Aewol as sea fog engulfed the horizon.His face was still, as though he’d been crying all night.His memories brought him back one year, to that day, to the moment a single car sped into the Half Moon Marsh with its high beams on.
Wife let go of the wheelbarrow and turned to face the car.Eun-ho tried to lift his head, which was hanging out of the wheelbarrow.But he had no strength in his neck.All he could do was twist his head to see the car noisily racing toward them.
The headlights were so bright he couldn’t tell who it was.All he knew was it wasn’t a police car.The car wasn’t slowing down, even though it must have seen Wife.It went up onto the embankment, and raced toward them as though it were going to run over Wife.But Wife didn’t look like she had any intention of moving out of the way.She didn’t even look surprised.She just watched the car barreling toward her with a blank stare on her face.She seemed to think that the person who flinched first would lose.
Just before the car hit her, it suddenly changed direction.The car turned at a ninety-degree angle, and slid along the snow-covered wetlands, kicking up snow until it stopped at the edge of the embankment.Finally, Eun-ho realized whose car it was.He didn’t need to try to look at the license plate.It was Wife’s BMW.
“There it goes again, touching my things.”
As she muttered this, her voice was filled with annoyance.Eun-ho tried to remember who in Yuna’s world was referred to as “it.”He could only think of two people: Jane and Jiyoo.
“I guess Jiyoo betrayed me again.”
Wife turned around, bent Eun-ho over, and took something out of the wheelbarrow.It was a kitchen knife.
“You wish I was dead, don’t you?”
Eun-ho couldn’t answer.He was too busy following the knife as Wife waved it above his head.He winced as she swung the knife at his stomach.Eun-ho opened his eyes to find that the rope on his hands and feet had been cut.He was free, but he wasn’t really.His mind had already jumped out of the wheelbarrow, but his body wasn’t budging.He mustered all his strength but only managed to slightly lift his head.Wife tossed the knife and ropes into the bushes then lifted the handles of the wheelbarrow.
“I’ve got the worst luck,” Wife grumbled.
As the wheelbarrow was lifted into the air, Eun-ho started to hear sirens in the distance.But he had no time to check where they were coming from.As soon as he heard them, his body fell out of the wheelbarrow and into the marsh.As he landed, the frozen surface of the marsh gave way without much resistance.Eun-ho was sucked through the hole in the ice.
Ice water attacked his body like sharp knives.Every part of Eun-ho’s body, even his sweat-filled pores, froze instantaneously.Eun-ho felt like his heart was shriveling to the size of a peanut.A frightened wild beast was rampaging inside his head.
Eun-ho knew from Jiyoo that the marsh was shallow.He also knew that he shouldn’t flail.He knew he needed to hold his breath, relax, and think.The problem was that “knowing” and “doing” were two different things.Faced with death, Eun-ho’s instincts took over.
His mind went blank, everything went silent, and his body went limp like a dead water plant.Icy water was entering his stomach.Images of Noah’s thrashing as he suffocated flashed before Eun-ho’s eyes.All he could hear was the name that Noah called in his last moments.
Dad.Dad...
He could also hear Yoon-hee’s voice.
We can never run from the truth.
He was floating like a corpse as Yoon-hee’s voice invaded his ear.
You can’t run from the fact that you killed him.
Eun-ho could feel himself regaining his senses.He’d finally escaped what he’d done.He did it not to live, but to know the truth.He couldn’t die like this.At least not yet.
Eun-ho started to think.If the sirens he’d heard before were police sirens, if the police were coming to look for him, how long would it take them to reach the marsh?Two minutes?Three?Five?Could he survive underwater that long?Was there no way for him to pull himself to land before then?
Then Eun-ho remember the BMW, which arrived before the sirens.If the driver was Jane as he suspected, if the sound from upstairs had been Jane, then that would mean she hadn’t come here to assist Yuna.She was probably here to help Eun-ho.Just maybe she could save him.There was only one thing he could do to help her.He had to stay alive until she came for him.
Eun-ho relaxed his muscles and let his limbs drift from his body.He focused all his energy on holding his breath.A few moments later, he could feel something turning his body over.He felt his face come to the surface of water.But his lips couldn’t breach.In front of his face was a layer of ice.It was thin, but not thin enough for the buoyant force of his head and body to break.He needed to try headbutting the ice, but he had no strength in his neck.His feet were scraping along the bed of the marsh, but he couldn’t shift his weight and stand up.Eun-ho’s lungs felt like they were about to explode.He wanted to grab at his constricting throat.If only he had the strength to move his arms.
