Page 87 of Emergency Exit
“See, that sounds nice, but the last time I looked at those twelve thousand was the low end. I really feel like you’re worth more. And couldn’t we do something more interesting, like an emerald?”
“I saw a sapphire and diamond one once,” said Harper. “On a podcast about Josephine Bonaparte’s jewelry. She was such an absolute icon in the jewelry department. I’m not advocating for world domination, but you’re right. I would like it if my boyfriend had more imagination than a plain diamond.”
Ash was tapping on his phone. “Sold for nine hundred and fifty thousand in 2019. Simpler than I thought it would be. Cute, though.”
“Well, he wasn’t the Emperor at the time,” said Harper. “He was just some guy in the army who may have helped execute her previous husband.”
“Sure, as one does,” said Ash.
“The husband was abusive and possibly supported the aristocracy. The abuse is clear. The politics are not. Things got confusing between revolutions and counter-revolutions,” said Harper. “But we’re fine with him getting guillotined.”
“It does help the moral quandaries when they’ve been dead for over a century.”
“It does,” agreed Harper. She reviewed their conversation to figure out where they’d left the main highway for the jewelry bypass. “However, my point is that you paid Emma lots ofmoney, and your brothers didn’t say anything, did they?”
“I don’t think they knew,” said Ash. “They probably would have just thought I was weird because we weren’t living together. But for you, it’s more that I bribed you into being my girlfriend. They’d think I bullied you.”
“You didn’t!” protested Harper.
Ash made a face. “Well… maybe I didn’t bully you, but I don’t feel great about it. I’m good at negotiating, and you were kind of drunk.”
“You’re uncomfortable because you don’t want anyone to think you paid for sex,” said Harper.
“Uh… yes?” said Ash.
“But you didn’t even try to get in my pants! And I would have handed over all the pants if you’d asked.”
“I wanted to!” protested Ash. “But I didn’t want you to feel pressured and weird because I was paying you money.”
“But you weren’t,” said Harper. “You are extremely bad at paying your bills. You totally forgot. So basically, I was hanging out with you for free. I’m a very bad prostitute.”
Ash winced.
“Please don’t ever say that again. I’m not sure which is worse. The fact that I didn’t pay you or that I did.”
“The fact that you didn’t,” said Harper. “Definitely.”
“I’m sorry! I forgot!”
Harper shrugged. “Well, it’s done now.” She couldn’t see what he was getting so worked up about.
“You know what I love about you?” demanded Ash.
Harper didn’t think anyone had asked her that before.
“Not a clue,” said Harper.
“You just say stuff. I get all hung up on things, and you just call it how you see it. It’s such a relief. It means nothing is buried, and I don’t have to second-guess things. I love your honesty.”
“Oh!” Harper felt genuinely complimented. “I’m pretty sure that’s one of the things my family hates about me.”
“Fuck them,” said Ash, then paused. “That was not something I should have said out loud. Not that I didn’t mean it. I don’t like how they treat you. But that is generally something that doesn’t need to be said.”
“You’re not bad,” said Harper. “You just have poor impulse control.”
“That is true,” said Ash, leaning over to kiss her. “Now open your presents!”
Harper cautiously ripped at the paper of the first box. She was hoping for more clothes because he’d been so stellar at the last batch.
