Page 22 of Indecently Employed
“I was reading.”That’s all, she reassured herself, slowly closing the small book and nervously rotating it in her hands before setting it on her lap.
Mercifully, he was too tipsy to recognize her awkwardness. He frowned, feeling about the shelf, his hands roving across the book spines.
“And how was Charlotte this afternoon— drat it, where is that… aha!” He pulled a book back and she heard the sound of a latch popping. A small door swung out from the center of the shelf, and she now saw a small, lighted cabinet where a tidy row of books had just been.
Susanna twisted in her seat, wanting to get a better look at the charming feature. In doing so, her missalette slid off her lap, the folds of her skirt acting much like a luge. The book landed but a few inches from Mr. Sedley’s foot.
He bent over, squinting at the cover.
Susanna shrunk back into her chair, not wishing to have this conversation with someone as sophisticated and clever as Mr. Sedley. Not now, not after he’d made her feel so… interesting last night. Susanna knew she was not interesting. She was not glamorous.
“Here,” he said, holding the missalette nonchalantly out to her.
“Thank you,” she whispered, surprised.
“What?” He arched an eyebrow as he returned to the secret compartment, withdrawing a crystal tumbler and decanter.
“Pardon?”
“You look like a lost lamb who’s wandered into a den of wolves. Never considered myself one of those sorts.” He chuckled, a wry sound, as if it were a private joke he shared only with himself.
“No, it’s only…” She bowed her head, her fingers gripping the book at its edges. “I suppose I was expecting a jest, that’s all.”
Still not looking at her, Mr. Sedley poured himself a drink, then closed the compartment.
Susanna watched the gentle shift of the books on the shelves. “That’s a delightful little amusement,” she ventured.
“Why would I tease you, Miss Abbotts?” He ignored her attempt to move on, his blue eyes locked on hers as he took a sip.
She swallowed and fidgeted with the missalette. “It’s just my experience that more fashionable sorts tend to find devotion… well, silly. I apologize, I didn’t mean to imply—”
“You think I’m fashionable?” he interrupted, his eyes twinkling.
“I…” she started, a bolt of panic rushing through her.
“There now, you can’t take it back, I won’t let you. I’m very vain, you see.” He grinned, and in that moment Susanna saw him, truly saw the real Ajax Sedley. He meant no harm. He wanted only to make others smile, to put everyone around him at ease. He wasn’t making fun; he was trying, trying so desperately hard.
All at once she softened.
“Anyway, who am I to criticize faith? The truth is, I’d sooner be envious. Were that we all had such a comfort to fall back upon.” He held up his tumbler as if he were making a toast. “For me, this shall have to do.” He took another sip and strode across the library, one hand in his pocket.
“Thank you,” she said, and she meant it.
He smiled, a genuine one; Susanna could somehow tell. Her heart began to beat quicker, and she wanted him to tell her something, anything, as long as it was real.
“I spoke with Harmonia this morning,” he said while looking into his drink, swirling the amber liquid. “I thought you’d be pleased.”
“Are you pleased?” she countered, sitting forward.
He furrowed his brow, still staring at the drink. He reached up with his other hand and ran it through his hair—a relaxed, intimate gesture that only added to his charm.
How handsome he is. Why hadn’t he ever married? Horrified by the turn of her thoughts, Susanna quickly looked down, staring once more at the book in her lap. How white and tense her hands appeared clutching at it. One kiss from an earl, and she now seemed incapable of performing her job. Oh, how she’d take it back if she could.
Her ears heated, knowing full well that was a lie. She would take hundreds more kisses like that, if they would make her feel the way that one had with every nerve in her body.
“I am pleased,” Mr. Sedley finally answered. “Your advice was spot-on.” He stared off, a faraway look in his eyes. “Funny, that. As if someone would ever need me, of all people. I’d never have supposed.” He blinked, then came back to earth, turning his gaze to Susanna, his expression fierce. “But you did.”
Several responses flitted through her brain, not a one of them adequate.
