Page 5 of When I'm Gone
He considered patting her on the shoulder until he noticed how close they were standing, foreheads almost touching, Annie’s breath rustling the hair over his ears. He stepped back across the invisible line married people wear around them when spending time with the opposite sex, folded the letter protectively, and put it back in his robe pocket.
“I ... I’m sorry,” Luke said gently, stumbling over his words. “It’s just ...”
Annie’s lips turned up in a half smile as she brushed invisible tears out of the corner of her eyes.
“No worries.” She took a deep breath and wiped at her nose with the paper towel fragments, then glanced around the kitchen. “Let’s get these pancakes cooking, shall we?”
Luke let out the breath he’d been holding. “All right. Let’s do this thing.”
When Annie turned her back to look for an appropriate pan, Luke pushed the letters down deeper into his pocket.To keep them safe,he thought. But really all he wanted was a reason to touch them again because when they were in his hands, he could forget she was gone. Forever.
Within minutes they were pumping out stacks of almost Natalie-quality pancakes. When the speckled blue platter was full of golden circles, Annie set the table with some paper plates and plastic utensils.
“May, could you go get Will, please?” Luke asked, but when May tried to stand, she clutched her stomach.
“Sorry, Dad, my tummy hurts. I’m so hungry.”
“Sit down. I can get your brother.” Poor thing was starving.
“It’s okay.” Annie helped May climb on the long bench closest to the edge of the tile. “I’ve got it covered. You get those pancakes onto plates and cut up before the kids pass out.” She pushed in May’s chair and grabbed her phone off the golden granite countertop. Luke watched her type and pause several times before she replaced it, smiling. “Will says he’s on his way.”
“Wait, you texted him and he’s actually coming?” He flipped May’s pancake, the one with the chocolate chip smile. Will never did anything the first time he was asked, not even for his mother. “I’ll believe it when I ...” Footsteps on the stairs echoed through the main floor.
Annie raised her eyebrows with a little smirk. “I can’t believe a man who engineers cell phones for a living still uses a flip phone and never learned to text.”
“Well, engineers also make airplanes but you wouldn’t expect them to own one, would you?” He poked at the pancake, feeling a little guilty he could make jokes at all. Wasn’t he supposed to be curled up in the fetal position in his bed right now?
“But look how well it works.” Annie pointed at Will as he tromped into the kitchen in baggy jeans and Luke’s old Metallica T-shirt.
“So, the food is actually ready? Or am I so hungry I’m hallucinating?”
“You sure are a funny one, aren’t you?” Annie ruffled Will’s hair after he sat down, and miraculously he let her. She was impressive with teenagers. Her son and only child, Matt, was a freshman at Georgetown University in DC. He’d only come home once since orientation, and it was obvious how much she missed him. Brian once confided that he’d tried to bribe Matt into going to the University of Michigan so he could come home on weekends to do laundry and see his mom. But he wanted to go into political science, so Georgetown was the right place for him.
Laundry. Luke glanced down at his robe and ratty old slippers. If Annie hadn’t shown up he probably would’ve stayed in them all day, but there’s something motivating about having a non-family member in your house. And it wasn’t just the clothes. His reflection in the microwave revealed what a wild mess his hair was—sticking up in uneven peaks and leaning to one side like the Tower of Pisa. He turned off the flame on the stovetop and added the last few pancakes to the pile.
“Hey, would you mind getting the kids started on these so I can go throw on some real clothes?” He placed a plastic bottle of store-brand syrup on the table.
“No problem at all,” she said, arranging plastic utensils next to each paper plate.
“Thank you. I’ll be fast.” He handed her the full metal tray. “Remember, the smiley one is May’s.”
“No problem.” She shooed him away with a flap of her hands before laying the tray on the table and grabbing Clayton from his spot on the couch in front of the TV. Luke would have to get his act together, or the three-year-old would soon leave a permanent divot.
As he made his way up the stairs, Luke enjoyed the gentle murmur of voices from the kitchen. He’d always loved coming home from work and eavesdropping until someone finally realized he was home. Today he couldn’t hear the majority of what was being said, but the tone was so different than when Natalie’s mom was there; calm and happy instead of Terry’s anxiety-inducing silence and occasional episodes of uncontrolled wailing.
If Natalie’s dad had been there, things would’ve been different. He was always the strong one in that relationship. When he died of a sudden heart attack five years ago, Natalie wasn’t sure if Terry would make it on her own.Why do the strong ones always seem to go first?
When his feet touched the flat off-color carpet at the top of the stairs, a scream cut through the fraction of peace. It was May, screaming like a monster was chasing her. Adrenaline shot through Luke’s veins, and without hesitation, he ran down the stairs, slipping down the last two until he reached the kitchen, winded and worried.
“May!” His slippered feet slid on the slick polished floor. Will sat in his seat, slowly munching on buttered pancakes, dipping each bite in a pool of syrup. Clayton waved and shoved a fistful of cut-up squares in his mouth, but May was gone and so was Annie. The bathroom door slammed.
“She’s not in there,” May shouted from the hall. “Maybe she’s upstairs. Come on, Annie, let’s find her.”
Luke met the pair at the foot of the stairs. “What was that scream about, May? Are you okay?”
“Yes, Daddy. I was screaming because I’msohappy.” She wagged her hands at her sides like a girl waiting to see a boy band.
“You almost gave me a heart attack.” Luke crouched down to look his daughter straight in her deep blue eyes. “What made you so happy?”
