Page 36 of Hellfire & Tinsel
“Kassel! Why are we running?” Beau panted, trying to keep up.
“We must hurry to make you happy again.”
“But the fair is that way!”
Kassel skidded to a stop, nearly tripping over his own small, ugly feet.Ugh. Beau fell against his back, taking some gulping breaths that steamed out into the evening air in front of him.
“Maybe we can hold hands and walk instead of run? That would make me happy,” Beau suggested sweetly.
Kassel looked down at his own hand, watching as Beau slid his palm against his and linked their fingers. It was innocent this time, without the added implication of sex.
Beau made a triumphant noise, cuddling into his arm and side. “Just like this.”
Kassel looked at Beau’s squished cheek and radiant smile and settled.
Crisis averted.
They walked slowly down the street together, their destination for the evening just a short walk away from Beau’s house.
They passed many house displays that Beau went starry-eyed over, whispering admiration and envy for this or that. It ended with Kassel ripping out a staked penguin decoration from someone else’s yard and presenting it to Beau like a popsicle on a stick.
Beau took it with both hands and round, sparkling eyes full of the purest joy.
“HEY!” A booming voice sounded from the front porch of the house. They turned to see an old man silhouetted in his front door. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, you little thieves!”
“Oh… uh…” Beau looked down at his penguin as if realizing that Kassel had just stolen it, before a light flickered in his eyes and he gave Kassel a hopeful glance. “If I keep this, will I go to Hell?”
Kassel frowned in confusion at the sudden, abrupt question. “No.”
Beau sighed and grumbled under his breath, “What’s a guy got to do to be sentenced to eternal damnation around here?”
“Put it back or I’ll call the cops! You hear me!”
“You can request compensation when you enter Heaven. They have a compensation program for all worldly possessions,” Kassel said, allowing his green eye to form so he could peer at the man’s lifespan. “It won’t be a long wait.”
“Did you just threaten me?!” the old man gasped, skipping red and instead going purple in the face.
“I see you’re trying to shorten the wait time further by inducing a heart attack.”
“You punk! Get your ass over here! I ain’t too old to give you the whooping you deserve!”
He crammed on his slippers and grabbed his cane to hobble out of the door after them.
Kassel turned to Beau. “If we continue at a leisurely pace, we can outwalk him.”
“Okay.” Beau allowed himself to be led down the street, asking, “Willthisget me into Hell? Stealing and running from the elderly has to be up there on the top sins list, surely?”
Kassel didn’t point out thathehad been the one to do it. He doubted Beau could ever bring himself to hurt a fly. “Why are you interested in going to Hell?”
“No reason!” Beau flushed.
“GET BACK HERE!” the old man hollered.
“I’m sorry,” Beau called back. “I hope you have a wonderful Christmas!”
“I thought you were trying to get into Hell?” Kassel asked.
“Oh,” Beau said. “I mean, get wrecked, grandpa! I hope your turkey burns!”
