Page 48 of Make Your Shot
“I think your paranoia is probably justifiable.”
My eyes narrow on him. “The only way he would know is if Mia said something to him.”
“Do you think she would?”
“I don’t know,” I tell him, lifting my shoulders and dropping them. “It was just a kiss and nothing more. I had a moment of weakness, a moment of vulnerability.”
“But you still did it,” Carson says, his voice dropping lower. His eyes slowly search mine. “If you’re worried, I think you should ask her about it.” He pauses, tilting his head to the side. “You know what they say—it’s better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.”
I purse my lips. “I think that might apply to anyone other than Coach.” I rub the back of my neck. “It’s not like it’s going to happen again.”
Carson raises an eyebrow at me. “Why not?”
“This was different than when I kissed Gloria’s niece.” I sigh, shaking my head at him. “When I kissed Mia—for those few moments, I was consumed by her—I completely forgot about Amelia. I forgot about what we had and what I lost.”
Carson’s expression softens, his lips lifting into a sad smile. “You know, Amelia wouldn’t want you alone. She wouldn’t want you miserable and by yourself for the rest of your life.”
“I’m not miserable,” I counter through a mumble.
Carson rolls his eyes. “You know what I mean. You’re not betraying her by moving on. You’re not forgetting her or replacing her.”
My stomach sinks. “It feels like it.”
“You’re not, Cale. Amelia was an amazing woman and we both know that no one can replace her. There’s no way any of us could ever forget her. But that doesn’t mean you can’t let yourself have feelings for someone else. It doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy being with someone else. You’re allowed to be happy.”
I stare at my brother for a moment, his words sinking down into my chest. I know he’s right, but it’s such a hard concept to wrap my mind around, even if it’s slowly happening without me realizing.
“One day, you’re going to fall in love again. One day, you’re going to love someone just as much, if not more than you loved her,” he says, staring at me intently. “And it will always be different, because it’s not her. And that love will never replace the love you had for Amelia.”
A ragged breath escapes me, my heart pounding erratically in my chest. “How can you truly believe any of this?” The thought of falling in love again is something I’ve refused to even entertain. The thought of that vulnerability. The thought of taking that chance with someone else. Risking it all, only to have the possibility of losing someone the same way I lost her.
It’s absolutely terrifying to even consider.
“Because I refuse to believe that there isn’t more for you, Cale. I refuse to believe that we live in a world where my brother doesn’t get his happily ever after.” He pauses, corkscrewing his mouth while he considers his next words. “Even if that means that it wasn’t with Amelia.”
The door opens once more, Rowan breezing through as he glances at my brother. “Your turn, Carsy.”
Carson grabs my knee, giving me a soft squeeze. “It will all be okay, Cale. What’s meant to be, will be, as long as you’re not stubborn enough to fight against it forever.”
Sadness wells in my chest, creeping up my throat. I turn my head to look back at the TV with his words ringing in my head long after he disappears through the doorway. I always thought Amelia was it for me and with her being gone, I never thought there could be someone who came after.
The possibility still seems so farfetched to me, but maybe my brother’s right.
Maybe letting myself feel again isn’t wrong, after all.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
MIA
Slowly sitting up in bed, the sheet and comforter pool around my waist and I turn my head to look at the alarm clock on the bedside table to my right, checking to see what ungodly time it is in the middle of the night. A groan escapes me and my eyes linger for a second longer before I decide to throw the covers away from my body.
It’s almost four o’clock in the morning and I need to be up in almost three hours to get Tella out of bed and ready for school. It feels a little senseless to try and fall back asleep now, especially when I feel wide awake.
The last few nights have been spent tossing and turning, haunted by those grey eyes every time I close mine. I’ve been avoiding Caleb Ford since the night we kissed, which has been easy with him on the road for some away games.
He’s FaceTimed every day, but only to talk to Tella. As soon as their conversations were over, the call would end. He never once bothered to try and have aconversation with me other than to ask how she’s been and if he could talk to her.
It’s clear that the kiss was a momentary lapse in Caleb’s judgment. He has yet to bring it up and I’ll be damned if I’m the one who says anything to him about it. If I acknowledge it, that means it happened. And if it really happened, that means he most likely regrets it.
