Page 13 of Pages of My Heart
Thomas wakes with a start. His room is dark and the house is silent. Charlie is asleep in his arms, face pressed into the curve of his neck like it’s the most natural thing in the world. They must have fallen asleep after their failed attempt. Thomas closes his eyes again, trying to block out the awful feeling that he did something wrong, that he let Charlie down. Everything they had done until they attempted penetration had felt amazing. For Thomas, even that had felt mind-blowing. Being even just partially inside Charlie had seemed so right, like Thomas belonged there. But Charlie had only felt pain. The thought turns Thomas’s stomach. He needs to fix this.
Kissing Charlie on the forehead, he takes care not to disturb him as he untangles their limbs and slides out of bed, careful to avoid the squeaky floorboards as he creeps out of his bedroom. In the bathroom he first relieves himself and then checks under the vanity, thrilled to find they have a jar of Vaseline still half full. By the time he returns to his room, Charlie is stirring, rubbing his eyes and blinking in the low light.
“Tommy?”
“I’m here. It’s late. We must have drifted off.” Placing the Vaseline on the nightstand, he sits naked on the edge of the bed and places his hand on Charlie’s thigh. “Are you hungry? We have apple pie.”
Charlie hums. “Yeah, I could go for some pie.”
Thomas admires the way Charlie’s back arches off the mattress as he stretches, something in his chest giving a painful tug at the sweet furrow that forms between Charlie’s eyes when he yawns.
“I’m sorry about before,” he says, bringing one of Charlie’s hands to his lips and placing a kiss upon his palm. “Maybe we can try again? Slower this time. I found the Vaseline.” Thomas nods his head toward the jar on the nightstand.
Charlie lifts onto one elbow. “I feel like a fool. But yeah, maybe slower. I want to do this with you, Thomas. I do.”
Charlie then reaches up and slides a hand around the back of Thomas’s neck, pulling him down. Thomas eagerly accepts the kiss, glad to see the look of affection in Charlie’s eyes when they pull apart.
“Let’s put on our pajamas. Did you bring some?”
“I sure did.”
It’s after one o’clock when they finally make their way back upstairs to Thomas’s bedroom. The pie was good, and they had laughed and danced around the kitchen until the heat between them rose once again. Thomas is determined to make this work the second time around, and if not, to make sure that Charlie feels good at least, even if it’s only with his hands or his mouth.
His mouth. Thomas wants to try that very much. Charlie wrapping his lips around Thomas’s cock had felt incredible—warm and wet and so different than a hand. His brother Michael says only whores use their mouths, but Thomas doesn’t think of Charlie that way, and he wants to give the same pleasure in return. As they shed their pajamas, an idea forms in Thomas’s mind.
“Lie down on your back, with your legs apart,” he says.
Charlie does as instructed, and Thomas positions himself between his legs and then lies down over him, chest to chest. They harden fast as they kiss, Thomas grinding slowly, his body leading the way. Once Charlie is panting, Thomas kisses down his neck and then keeps moving down to his chest. He brushes the tips of his fingers over one of Charlie’s nipples, not sure if that’s something a man would like. The soft moan that spills from Charlie’s lips gives him the answer, so he takes it further and licks over the raised nub. This time Charlie arches off the bed in response, cursing breathlessly. Pride swells in Thomas’s chest, making him brave, so he circles his tongue a few more times and then descends lower until he reaches Charlie’s hard, thick cock.
“God you’re beautiful, Charlie.” He nips and sucks at Charlie’s inner thigh. “Do you trust me?”
Charlie lifts his head, his face flushed. “Yeah.”
“Pass me the Vaseline.”
Charlie passes him the jar and Thomas opens it quickly, not wanting to break the mood. He coats one finger in the cool jelly, then using his other hand to hold the base of Charlie’s cock, he swirls his tongue around the head, ending with a dip into the slit, where he tastes Charlie for the first time. The clear precome is sweeter than he expected, and he runs his tongue over his top lip, spreading it provocatively. Charlie is toying with his own nipples, head lifted from the pillow as he watches Thomas wide-eyed. Thomas slides his lips down, his mouth stretched wide around the ample girth. He goes too far and gags a little, but then quickly gets the hang of it, learning his limit and sucking hard while trying not to use his teeth.
Once he feels more confident, spurred on by Charlie’s sighs and the slight roll of his hips, he slowly and gently presses one finger against Charlie’s hole. With the Vaseline there is minimalresistance, and Charlie gasps a little as Thomas pushes inside, but he doesn’t ask him to stop.
Thomas slows his mouth, keeping Charlie hard but not pushing him too close to orgasm. He hasn’t had time to acknowledge how he feels about Charlie’s cock inside his mouth, choosing instead to focus on the heat around his finger as he pushes it in and out of Charlie’s hole, over and over again, excited by how the muscle slowly loosens. With his jaw growing tired, he takes a final sucking pull and lets Charlie fall from his mouth.
“Does this feel better?” he ask, studying Charlie’s face for signs of distress. “Does it still hurt?”
That sweet furrow is back between his brows, and when Charlie replies, his voice is husky and languid. “Feels good. But one finger ain’t nothing compared to your dick.”
Thomas chuckles softly. “We’ll get there. Slowly.” He removes his finger from Charlie’s heat, adds more Vaseline, and then carefully pushes two fingers inside. Charlie lets out a guttural moan, lifting his pelvis as if seeking more.
Thomas is wet, and hard, and wanting, but he knows he needs to take his time, so he sets about stroking Charlie while he continues pumping into him with his fingers. When Charlie starts continuously rocking down onto his hand, Thomas experiments a little, turning his fingers this way and that, fascinated by the warmth and the texture, and by the way Charlie’s relaxed rim flutters around them. Suddenly, Charlie grunts and arches off the bed, startling Thomas so badly he nearly pulls away.
“Oh, sweet Jesus, Tommy. Do that again.”
“Do what?” Thomas’s heart is racing wildly, but he tries to remember what he just did, pressing deep and curling his fingers up and back.
“Ohfuck! Right there. There’s a spot . . . when you touch it, it feels—” Charlie gasps again. “Yes! There, that’s it. Fucking hell, Red, that feels so good.”
Thomas is spellbound, watching Charlie squirm and writhe around in ecstasy on his bed while he continues to stroke the spongy little lump he’s found that makes Charlie react whenever he passes over it. Thomas pays attention to where it is and wonders if he can make his cock rub against it, too. The thought makes him nearly delirious with want.
“Please, Charlie,” he begs, voice wrecked. “Please . . . I need to be inside you so bad. Can we try? Please can I try being inside you again?”
