Page 24 of Fighting For Light
“Damn right, it is. I’m…I can’t talk about this right now. And you have a competition tonight, so get your head straight, I better see top four places,” Dad barks. Kai dips his head once, and Dad storms away.
Once he’s out of earshot, I spin around. Now, I want to punch Kai in the face and simultaneously hug him from saving me from embarrassment.
“It’s just the shock, gem. You know he loves you. He’s not mad at you, he’s mad at me, and it will be better for both of you—“ he glances at my stomach ”—if he’s mad at me instead. Okay?”
“Why did you…I don’t…” I trail off. Everything is too much, and I don’t know what to say. Why would he say those things? You can’t say things like that and then take them back. That’s not how this works.
“Come on,” Kai says and gestures to his door. I go first and sit on the couch. The cool air covers my skin, and I take a deep breath.
“Why did you say that, Kai?” I ask him.
“Because if you said it was Rafe, he would have probably beat him to a pulp instead of punching him in the face like me. Plus, he’smine,“ he says the last few words under his breath, and I frown.
“So you lied to my dad for the sake of the team? This is my life, Kai. You can’t say what you did and then tell Dad, ‘Oops, I didn’t mean to say your daughter is pregnant with my kid, and I’m going to marry her. Oh wait, I lied about it,’” I mock, waving my hands.
He leans against the counter in his sweaty shirt and gym shorts. I can’t help myself as I peruse his body. It’s pregnancy hormones, right?Right.
“I had to do something. I couldn’t let him yell at you like that, and you were about to tell him it was Rafe, and like I said, it—“
“Would have messed with the competition tonight,” I grumble.
“It’s more than that, gem. Sure, the competition, but that wasn’t why I said it. Trust me, it was not to protect Rafe. It was to protect you,” he says.
I think my heart is about to pop out of my chest, and I’m sure my stress level is not healthy for the baby or me. My hand goes to my stomach, and I rub it absently even though there’s no bump.
“Kai, I didn’t come to you last night trying to get you to…I don’t know. I needed my best friend last night. I wasn’t looking for a hero.”
He doesn’t say anything for a moment while he looks at me. It feels like he’s staring right through me. “But could you let me?”
“Let you what?” I ask him.
“Be your hero?”
I scoff and note his intense expression. “You cannot be serious.” My voice breaks.
“As serious as a heart attack, gem.”
I throw my hands out and lean back against the sofa. “Why would you do that?”
He huffs like I just told a joke. “Because I would do anything for you.”
“You literally told me we couldn’t be together not even three months ago. So why now?” I ask.
His expression doesn’t change. In fact, his poker face is stone-cold. But I can see it in his eyes. I can read the emotions flying through them. “Because I want to, and…you’re my best friend. And maybe it’s time to be honest with myself and how I feel about you. Even though I really shouldn’t because it goes against everything I have told myself about us, but I can’t help myself,” he says.
“Told yourself about us?” I repeat. What has he told himself about us? I sigh. “You don’t need this in your life, Kai. I don’t want to burden you with me, a newborn, any of it. You…have other things to look after, like your mom and brothers.”
He scoffs and rubs his chin. He hasn’t shaved yet today, but I like the look.
“I appreciate that, but we are a team, and…” he trails off, and I wait for the ‘yeah, you’re right, I don’t want any part of this,’ but he looks me straight in the eyes as he says, “You are not a burden, Cordelia. And if I can do anything in my life that’sgood, I think I want to do this.”
“What does that mean?” My stomach flutters, and the butterflies I have felt for him for almost fourteen years have come to life. Flowers begin to grow from the cracks in my heart. “Kai, this is insane, and even if I entertained saying yes, you can’tthinkabout it. I willnotend up like my parents.”
He sighs and rubs his chin. “Normally, I would agree with you, but I have spent most of my life cheating death. The one honorable thing I can do is be a devoted husband to you and a reliable father to this kid.”
“But you aren’t…this is crazy…you do realize how crazy this is?” I say in a near panic. He’s obviously not the father. “You toldme no. So help me understand why the hell you would offer to be myhusbandand afatherto a kid that isn’t yours.”
“I am well aware I’m not the father, gem, but honestly, I don’t care. It might be for the best anyway, and I don’t know…maybe it’s because it’s something I’ve thought about for years and figured it would always be another dream that didn’t come to fruition. I thought maybe…this could be my,ourchance.”
