Page 69 of Cruel Love
I closed my eyes, the pain slowly beginning to ease for the first timeall day as I listened to James breathing next to me. Just when I thought he was asleep, he sighed heavily.“Damn it, Mouse. Don’t ever suffer again. If you’re in pain, you tell me. Do you hear? You tell me,”he gritted out as ifhewas the one in pain.
I twisted my head to face him, his silhouette visible in the soft glowcoming in from the open balcony doors. He was staring up at the ceiling, his jaw clenched like it always was when he was angry.
“I will,”I replied, turning my head back to copy him and staring at theceiling, a small smile creeping over my lips.
He was nothing like his father.
The glint of hate that had seemed permanent in James’ eyewhenever he looked at me disappeared over the next four days. I wasn’t sure if it was from me telling him he was nothing like his father or if he hated seeing me in pain.
Either way, I had somehow smashed down another steel wall he’derected around his heart.
Each day, he took time out of his busy work schedule to find me,and make sure I was taking pain relief to ease the cramps, as well as ordering Edith to reheat my water bottle every few hours.
At night, when James came to bed long after I’d fallen asleep, hedidn’t wake me for sex. Instead, he would pull me into his arms, and lightly kiss my head before holding me against his solid body for the entire night.
With every passing day, the man hiding under the monster was slowlycoming out, and despite the way he’d treated me in the past, I couldn’t stop a strange feeling from blooming in my chest whenever I looked at him.
I knew I was being stupid. James may have softened toward me, but Iknew he would never love me. Not the way I wanted to be loved. But that didn’t stop me from lying in bed at night, wishing to hear words that I couldn’t remember ever hearing from a single living soul.
My cramps settled after a few days, and I rejoined James for ourevening meal. I hadn’t been able to bring myself to eat much while the cramps had been raging, and even though James had insisted I ate something, he hadn’t forced me to join him for dinner.
One of the kitchen staff brought our dinner to us in the dining room.She pulled off the silver cloche, revealing a mouthwatering dinner of chicken in red wine jus, asparagus, and roast potatoes.
As usual, we ate in silence, but every so often, our eyes met acrossthe table, and a thick tension began to build around us. My gut told me James had something to say, but for some reason, he was holding back.
Once we had both finished, he cleared his throat.“It’s my mom’sfuneral tomorrow.”He paused, not quite meeting my eye. I waited with bated breath, not sure of how to respond. But he continued.“I want you to come with me. I…I need you there.”
In my chest, that strange feeling grew stronger at his admittance.“Okay,”I replied, dabbing my mouth with my napkin and trying to ignore the feeling of elation sweeping through me at his admittance of needing me.
James’ body visibly relaxed as if he’d been expecting me to say Ididn’t want to go. I gave him a small, reassuring smile, holding his gaze only for him to break away when the maid came in to clear our plates.
When she closed the door behind her, I waited for James to excuseme from the table like he had done the previous nights, but instead, he poured himself another glass of wine before reaching across the table to top up my glass.
“There’s something else I need to speak to you about, Mouse,”hesaid softly, almost hesitantly. He took a mouthful of his wine, the red of the liquid staining his lips until his tongue darted out to wipe the drops away.“I think I’ve found out something about your past.”
My eyes widened in disbelief, unsure I’d heard correctly.“What?”Ireplied tentatively, trying to tamper down the sparkle of hope that had glimmered to life, despite a little voice in my head telling me not to ask any more questions because it would only end in pain.
James bobbed his head, a crease forming between his brows.“Iknow you’ll have questions, but there are certain things I can’t tell you. I just need you to trust what I’m telling you.”
I blinked at him, my intrigue spiking. Trusting James was somethingthat shouldn’t come easy, but as I stared back at him, it occurred to me that I did trust him. In a weird way, I’d come to trust him more than I’d ever trusted anyone.
“Okay.”
James sucked in a deep breath, his nostrils flaring as he let it out.“Ihave a friend. Cleo. She…”he paused, as if he was having to choose his words carefully.“She’s very good at making people disappear. Not killing them,”he added when I inhaled sharply.“She’s a master at forging documents. People pay her thousands of dollars to create new identities for them and remove every trace of their old life from ever existing so there is no chance of them being found.”
My brows rose in surprise at learning there were really people in theworld who could forge documents, and make people disappear. I thought that only happened in books and movies.
“About eight years ago, Kevin Welch contacted Cleo,”Jamescontinued, ignoring the way my brows rose even higher at hearing the name of my old Director.“He told her he had a friend who needed new identities for her and her little girl.”The delicious dinner I’d eaten began to turn to bitter acid in my stomach as James spoke.“The woman wanted to start a new life with her daughter after her husband was killed in a car crash.”
Instinctively, I knew James was talking about my parents, and I wasthe little girl, even if I didn’t knowhowI knew.
“Cleo couldn’t remember the real names of the woman and herdaughter, but she remembered the little girl had heterochromia. I showed her your picture. She confirmed the little girl was you.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat as I stared back at James, hiswords sinking in about the reason the woman wanted to start a new life.
My father was dead.
Tears pricked my eyes, wanting to fall for a man I couldn’t remember.My heart breaking for a man I’dneverget to meet.
