Page 59 of House of Darkness
The bouncer’s breath smelled foul, like wyne and expired fish. I flinched as a wave of nausea hit me, and I barely noticed as I was dragged out of the bar and thrown into the street. Sorin quickly followed, hands raised.
I crawled to my knees and rocked back. Tears fell before I could stop them. “I couldn’t save her. She loved me and endured him for me, and I couldn’t fucking save her. Everyone I love gets hurt or leaves.”
I buried my head in my knees and begged for the spinning to stop. “I don’t deserve any of it. I’m just as fucked up as he said I was. Just a weapon. But I fucking want it, Sorin. I don’t want to lose anyone else.”
“Come on, we’ll stay in my hotel room for tonight,” he murmured, his arms wrapping under my armpits and hauling me off the ground with a grunt.
The world spun, and the tears didn’t help. I stumbled over the cobblestones as he pushed me onward. “I don’t deserve this. You should leave me here.”
“I’m not fucking leaving you,” Sorin snapped.
We made our way through the streets until we reached the inn where Sorin had been staying. I stumbled, and he shoved me along. The entry was quiet, and I got into the room with little incident. The booze settled over me like a toxic fog, making it hard to see the bed, but I stumbled toward it. Sorin growled and yanked me into the bathing chamber instead.
He pointed to the tub. “Get in.”
I obliged, practically rolling in. Without bothering to strip me, he turned on the faucet and doused me with ice-cold water.
“Fucking hell—” I moaned, but he cut me off.
“Only sober vampires get warm baths.”
I groaned but leaned back in the tub, staring blankly at the spinning ceiling. “I got drunk at the Fjällräv estate too,” I whispered, unsure why.
“I know. I have correspondents everywhere. We should’ve had a conversation then. I just hoped you wouldn’t do it again.” Sorin grabbed my hair mercilessly and shoved my face under the faucet, not letting go until I was dripping with icy water. I yelped at the shock to my senses.
Blood and dirt swirled into the drain. God, I was disgusting. I groaned, fighting to hold back the nausea climbing up my throat. My tears returned with renewed tenacity. “I’m fucking pathetic.”
“No, you’re not. We’re going to get through this just like we did last time.”
I flinched at the reminder of the last time he had to pull my drunk ass out of a bar. Three years ago—just before my coronation. He dumped a cup of ice water over my head, and I hissed.
“I don’t know why you put up with me,” I sputtered.
“You’re my life brother. Not in blood but in soul. You’re stuck with me until the devil himself pulls us under.”
The water ran clear, and Sorin turned off the faucet. He flopped into the tub opposite me. “Your mother’s death wasn’t your fault, nor were any of those acolytes.”
“I could’ve stopped him.” I lifted a shaky hand to my face, blocking out the torchlight.
“The only person to blame for their deaths is Leonidas. You’ve got to let that guilt go, or it’s going to eat you alive.”
“People leave, and if they stick around, they get hurt. My mom, Bella, Razvan, you, the?—”
“—don’t go there, Roman. None of that was your fault. My life got better with you in it, and I’m sure Raz and Bella agree. And your mom would be fucking heartbroken if she knew you were still blaming yourself for her death.” Sorin sighed and got to his feet. “Come on, let's get you to bed.”
I nodded through the tears and let him help me out of the tub. He tossed me a pair of sweatpants. Arms crossed, he spoke again. “You can’t let this guilt ruin your chances of happiness, brother. I won’t let you. You’re going to prove that we both deserve it. That regardless of the past, we aren’t too far gone.”
I tried to process his words through the pounding in my head. Once I was clothed, I crawled to the bed’s edge and climbed in. “I’m scared, brother.”
Sorin snuffed the lights and flopped down next to me. “Aren’t we all?”
Chapter 29
ESTRELLA
It had been a long night preparing for Iliya's departure. Now, Isabella sat beside me, pencil in hand, as we navigated the intricate pricing of the dress. Iliya hadn’t provided a budget, which only heightened my anxiety. An hour had slipped by, and my mind still swirled with numbers and calculations. I had a basic education in mathematics, but Bells had put those figures into context.
Nearly a week had passed since Roman had left. I tried to ignore the gnawing ache in my gut that said if Roman were okay, he would have returned by now. It was my day, and I refused to let Roman’s absence spoil it.
