Page 1 of Balance
Part One
Chapter One
Bianca
Void
“He’s been gone almost a week.” It was true and shouldn’t have hurt, but saying it out loud made the tight knot in my stomach grow larger. I’d never been one to enjoy sitting around, doing nothing. Even staying at home—since my adoptive mother would rarely let me leave the house other than to go to school and visit Finn—I’d had my gardening, games, and reading to occupy my mind.
But Damen’s greenhouse was still a disgrace. I’d been hesitant to ask permission to give that place an overhaul.
Besides, it was difficult to admit—even to myself—that I simply lacked the energy to do anything. It was stupid. We hadn’t known each other very long, but Miles leaving had left an ache in my chest.
I’d been ignoring it, at least trying to. But since I was alone with Dr. Kohler, and I really hated awkward silences, there was nothing more to do than to introspect.
Besides, she was a professional.
“Do you think I hurt his feelings?” I frowned at the beige-colored carpeting, which seemed an unsanitary choice for a hospital. What about all the blood? I pressed my ballet-shoe-covered toes deep into the fibers—the tips of my toes sunk into the carpet.
So, it was luxurious too. What a waste of taxpayer funds.
Wait, were hospitals paid for by the taxpayer? Or was that insurance companies?
“Bianca, Julian is almost finished with his shift,” Dr. Kohler said. “If you want a therapy session you can schedule an appointment with me. Or, if you want, you can see Do Yun today.”
“Should I have been nicer to him?” I glanced at her, biting my lip as I ignored her request.
The least she could do was talk to me. It wasn’t my fault that Titus listened to Maria and dumped me here so he could work.
His expression had been so very serious—it must have been some very important shifter business. Maybe I could get him to tell me about it later.
Besides, it wasn’t like I needed a babysitter. They—the boys, Dr. Stephens, and Dr. Kohler—chose to keep me under constant supervision. I was perfectly fine on my own.
I was nineteen already. If they wanted to treat me like a child, they could suffer for it.
She sighed, laying her pen down back on the desk. “Are you talking about Miles?”
Yes, of course I was talking about Miles! He was the one who left—completely heartbroken after the callous way I’d brushed him off. If only he was here with me, this time I wouldn’t hesitate to bite his wrist and drink his blood.
If that was what he wanted. I wasn’t entirely sure.
“Yes, Miles…” I twisted a curl around my finger. Normally I tried to tame my waist-length hair with a ribbon, a barrette, or a simple braid. But this morning I hadn’t had the drive to do more than brush it.
And it must look terrible, because Titus hadn’t been able to stop staring at me all morning or throughout our lunch.
“I was mean to him, right?” I asked, the guilt I’d been suppressing washing over me. “Do you think that’s why he left?”
She didn’t respond at first—instead she just watched me in uncomfortable silence. Her full lips were pursed, and she touched her red-framed glasses, pushing them high until they rested among the thick curls haloing her head.
She seemed torn, her brows furrowing, before she finally seemed to come to a decision. “What are you talking about?” she asked, tilting her head and linking her fingers over the manilla folder she had been working on while I’d waited. “How were you mean?”
“Well…” She had been there that day. How could she not remember? I tapped my fingers together, cringing at the memory. “I told him I didn’t want to bond with him right away. It must have crushed him. Maybe if—”
Dr. Kohler’s eyebrow raised, and she held up her hand in front of her, interrupting me. “That is not mean, Bianca. You were setting a boundary, and you were actually quite nice about it.”
But still, he had looked sad. “But—”
“Besides,” she continued, her gaze steadily on mine, “you’re reading way too much into it. I know Miles. He isn’t going to run away over hurt feelings. Headoresyou, and he’s not that selfless, though he pretends to be. You just have to realize thatthisis what he does.”
